It could always be worse.
While we spent part of the weekend fuming at members of our own party who are off-message or off their meds, we were reminded this morning that we will gladly take the headaches of being a Democrat over the shame of being a Republican every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
With just three days until Election Day and millions of votes already cast, we are deep into the closing arguments stage. And the Republicans’ closing arguments stink like Trump’s rotting hands.
On Meet the Press, Sen. Tim Scott made clear that a vote for a Republican candidate is a vote for the Republican agenda. LOL. Thanks, Tim! We totally agree!
But wait. It gets worse.
At Mar-a-Lago Saturday night, the pumpkin-in-chief took a break from his opulent Halloween party to waddle over to reporters and tell them all about his “rich people” that gathered for the festivities. You can tell he’s focused like a laser on getting gas prices down, can’t you? Just a real man of the people.
But our favorite — so far — has to be Kansas Sen. Roger Marshall.
Fox News moved Marshall’s race from “Lean Republican” to “Toss-up” this weekend, and so ol’ Rog decided to do a direct-to-camera ad. In it, he explains why he had to turn some of his poor patients over to collection agencies. Oof. As far as we know, there are no Democrats having to use this final weekend to explain to voters why they’re a bigger asshole than Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Thanks for reminding everyone what a heartless prick you are, Roger.
Sure, it can be frustrating to be a Democrat. It seems that we are often shooting ourselves in the feet just when we need to be running full-sprint. But at the end of the day, our candidates are going to care about lowering prices. They are going to care about stopping Trump’s war in Iran and his wars against the American people. They are going to fight for accountability and healthcare. They are going to go to work for us regular people and not the rich buttheads at Mar-a-Lago.
Our homestretch runs might not always be smooth or graceful, but we’re running in the right direction. And that’s way better than the embarrassing horseshit you see coming from a bunch of desperate Republicans.
So while it can be frustrating and stressful to be us, let’s just be grateful that we’re not them. Because that would really suck.
Just like their closing arguments do.
More from Adam and Sam
Yo all…Hey Adam, Hey Sam, thanks again for being with us and informing us and swearing. We here at Cynic Central start our daze with you and the SPs here. Just wanted to take the time to let you know.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HALEY STEVENS????