Republicans just effed America
It’s Thursday. There are 530 days until the midterm elections. A horrifying hate crime, Trump’s dirty dinner and Republicans screw America.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it never took starved poor kids to give the world’s richest asshole a tax break.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, yesterday was embarrassing as all hell. The flatulating baboon’s ass who calls himself our president invited yet another world leader to the Oval Office for the express purpose of ambushing and abusing him. It was pretty fucking disgusting…
Ugh. Every damn day is another damn low. It’s gotten to the point where we decided to just come up with a form letter for all the countries that dumb motherfucker trashes instead of writing out individual apologies for all of them. We don’t mean to seem insincere, but we have jobs and Trump is a relentless asshole. So here it is and please feel free to distribute it liberally…
To the good people of (fill in your country here):
We are so so sorry that our idiot president insulted both of our countries with his latest embarrassing episode. We also apologize for the smell. We’ve been told he has no idea.
We know that in (fill in your country here) you don’t actually (add absurd made-up crimes here). We also know that Trump never (add ridiculous claim about your country here). We are also aware that our president is a convicted felon who was found liable for sexual assault.
We wish we could make it up to you and the (add the country’s minority group here), but alas we are drowning in shame and regret. Hopefully next time your leader visits us, he or she or they won’t have to deal with Trump and his wife, (add wife’s name here), and instead will be treated with honor and kindness from a real American leader like (add any name that isn’t JD Vance or Don Jr.).
Now if you’ll excuse us we have to go because our president just got his head stuck up his (add orifice here).
Cheers,
America (the non-sucky part)
There. That oughta do it. We’re gonna need a lot of these, aren’t we? Goddamnit. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: We’re not letting this go because it was racist as hell and twice as embarrassing. Trump’s attacks on the South African president were a lie. They weren’t burial sites. Now imagine the coverage if Joe Biden had done this. More: New York Times, NPR
Note three: And this is a world-class dig at Trump, but he was just too goddamn dumb to know it.
Note four: Call your senators. They need to stop this fucked up attack on Americans that House Republicans passed this morning. They also need to feel the pain for gutting the filibuster. Yeah, who could’ve guessed that Manchin and Sinema were fucking idiots? More: Slate
Note five: Justtooka Dumpontheconstitution (JD) Vance gave a racist interview to the New York Times and attacked John Roberts. So congrats again to Roberts for destroying American rule of law on behalf of people who hate his guts. More: HuffPost
Note six: We want to take a second to praise Jim McGovern and House Democrats for fighting like hell to stop Republicans this week. And kudos to Hakeem Jeffries for keeping the caucus united in opposing this attack on Americans. More: Mediaite
Note seven: And Maxwell Frost continues to be a voice of truth and reason at a time when both are going extinct…
Note eight: How do we really feel about this shitshow? Well we’ll talk about it today when we go LIVE on Substack at 4 PM ET. Yeah, Adam has convinced Sam to come out of his cave and let you good people see his face. Join us! Watch live here at 4 PM ET today!
Note nine: And while we’re self-promoting, please check out our latest about how 2028 Democrats are going to have to get tough with the beltway media.
Note 10: The New York Times has a story today about how the Trump administration knew the sent the wrong guy to El Salvador and tried to cover it up instead of letting him go. Maybe Tapper should write a fucking book about that. More: New York Times
Note 11: Disney is trying to tell the women of the View to stop talking politics. Let’s hope they told Mickey Mouse to eat shit. More: HuffPost
Note 12: We have some good news today. George Santos says he’s not doing anymore media appearances before he goes to the clink. Yay! (Social media)
Note 13: Jasmine Crockett is amazing. The “I don’t even like the Supreme Court” made us spit out our coffee yesterday.
Note 14: There’s some nasty weather coming to New England this weekend. Be safe up there. And also maybe we should do something about climate change. More: CNN
Note 15: Trump officially accepted the Qatari jet yesterday, and then he absolutely lost his shit at a reporter for asking about it. Even he knows how bad this looks. More: Deadline
Note 16: We’d like to take a second to send our condolences to Knicks fans. We really don’t know how y’all are functioning today. But vote Cuomo, and this is the kind of karma you’ll be getting for years. More: Yahoo Sports
Note 17: This is why calling out and fighting racism is important. Because it has never gone away. Not for one second.
Note 18: Don Jr. said he might run for president. And the crowd was not exactly excited to hear it. LOL. More: HuffPost
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the New York Times and one of the greatest newspaper corrections we’ve ever seen…
Note 20: And on that embarrassing note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a good week even though Republicans are wrecking your life and your country. So actually, we get it if you’re not having a good week. Love y’all!
Evil
Last night, a pro-Palestinian gunman killed two Israeli Embassy staff members outside an event at the Capital Jewish Museum. While there is a debate to be had about Israel’s actions during the Gaza war, there can be no debate about condemning this heinous, evil shit. We really wish we had a president who could offer genuine sympathy and lower the temperature right now. Instead we’ve got one who will want and get more blood. We’re sending love to the families of those who were killed. More: Associated Press
Let them eat bitcoin
While the beltway press tell us about how “sleazy” Hunter Biden is (Jake Tapper actually said that to Katie Couric), Trump is going full-speed ahead with some of the most open corruption this country has ever seen. And we’re not even talking about the $400 million plane he just took from Qatar. No, tonight is Trump’s crypto dinner, where literally anyone could pay a shitload of money that goes directly to Trump’s pocket for a chance to have dinner with Trump at his golf club. We’re honestly shocked they’re not doing it at the White House. All told, the winners of this fucked up contest put about $400 million in Trump’s pocket. Maybe that’s just his rate. More: NBC News
More evil
Well the sonsofbitches did it. House Republicans, with a heavy push from Trump, passed their cruel and idiotic bill this morning. It would take health coverage from 14 million, it would cut food assistance for 3 million Americans and it would make silencers for guns cheaper. We’re not even kidding. It also guts Planned Parenthood and hurts Obamacare. So what are we getting in exchange for all of this cruelty? Another tax break for Elon Leon Melvin Musk and the other billionaire fuckheads. Are we great again or what? More: HuffPost
Today’s clips
A federal judge chided the Department of Justice (DOJ) during a Wednesday hearing where he agreed to dismiss a trespassing charge against Newark Mayor Ras Baraka (D) that stemmed from his visit to a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility earlier this month alongside three Democratic members of Congress. More: The Hill
Aid workers struggling to distribute a trickle of aid entering the besieged Gaza Strip are describing a logistical “nightmare” in the midst of a spiraling humanitarian crisis. More: NBC News
Bond investors sent government borrowing costs surging Thursday after the House gave its narrow, early-morning approval to a multitrillion-dollar spending and tax-cut bill sought by President Donald Trump. More: NBC News
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth led a Christian service at the Pentagon on Wednesday ― an event one former Defense Department lawyer called “incredibly problematic.” More: HuffPost
The latest from Adam
Welcome to America. trumps shit hole country.
If you knew 80 children were starving to death every day because that is what Zionists do, the lives of two diplomates, Zionists, doesn't seems such a bad trade off. It's not evil, it is retribution.
I wonder when foreign leaders will just stop coming. Will recognize the Oval Office for what it is. A trap.
I was born 5 years after the end of WWII. I heard every story, read every book I could get my hands on about that war and what Germany, Hitler, did to 11 million people. We all shudder in horror. As we have sat an watched our American government go in and over throw democratically elected governments, installed dictators, because we wanted to guarantee out access to their resources.
Yes, we had USAID, we have done some good. And everyone admits it is in our own self interest that we did so. This country has never done anything that did not have a price tag on it for the recipient.
This country deserves tRump. Until the people actually wake up to the horrors we have committed and are committing so we can have cheap stuff, eat ourselves to obesity, drive gas guzzling vehicles, and claim we are superior to every other nation on earth, and supposedly, do it all in the name of God (we are a Christian nation after all), I'm going to sit back in wonder, and watch it crumble to dust.