To all the Sexy Patriots who read and share our newsletter every single day, thank you. We love y’all, and we’re so grateful that you continue to show up, spread the word, and help Adam and Sam build this little community into something pretty damn special
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it only kinda rips off Simpsons’ jokes.
Note: It finally happened, Sexy Patriots! We caught the spirit! You know how sometimes it’ll be close to the holidays and you aren’t in the holiday mood? And then you’ll see It’s a Wonderful Life or you’ll help someone out and then BOOM you’re in that holiday mindset? Well, thanks to our own personal Santa Claus, Troy “Action” Jackson, we now have the election holiday spirit…
Get her ass, Troy! We don’t think it’s a stretch to say the Maine Senate race has been a roller coaster. In fact, it’s been a flat out fucking mess. But out of the darkness, a hero emerged. He might not be all glitz and glamour, but he is our T-Rex and he’s come stomping out of the jungle to end Susan Collins’ career and we are so fucking here for it.
We don’t know if Troy will or even can win. But we know he’s saying shit we desperately needed Susan and Mainers to hear and we know he stepped in and stepped up when we damn sure needed him to. And for that we are super grateful and doing what we can to help him. Because it’s about goddamn time someone gave Susan Collins something to really be concerned about it. Thanks, Troy! Do the right thing, Maine! Eat shit, Susan! Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Who needs some therapy? Yeah, us too. Badly. How about today at 3:30 p.m. ET/12:30 p.m. PT? Great! We’ll see you then.
Note three: Sally Yates is leading the probe into Cornell. This is good news. Get that young woman some justice please! And Megyn Kelly is a wart on the rectum of society. More: NBC News
Note four: It is objectively hilarious that every time Ken Paxton trashes Trump, someone records it and sends it to the media. People really hate that dude. For many, many good reasons. More: HuffPost
Note five: Need something to freak out about? Well this did it for us…
Note six: The mainstream media really want you to know that Trump wasn’t actually threatening to nuke California. Maybe if they lived there and had put up with two years of Trump’s lies and abuses, then they wouldn’t be so eager to give him the benefit of the doubt. Fucking wimps.
NO GODDAMN LINK
Note seven: Republicans are spending a fortune to reelect Max Miller, and his scummy ass still won’t stop trashing them. Imagine being too cruel, crazy and violent for Trump’s GOP. More: HuffPost
Note eight: Did y’all know Don Henley was a real one? We had no idea. Respect. More: Houston Chronicle
Note nine: We try not to get all excited when Washington tip-sheets classify races, but man it’s hard not to notice when the Cook Political Report moves Kansas to the toss-up column. Fuck Roger Marshall. More: KMBC
Note 10: Mike Rogers is so scared that he’s drinking Canadian beer and kinda sorta pushing back against Trump. Our guy Adbul has this man shitting his shorts!
Note 11: NBC News says we need a “gut check” on our ambitions for the midterms. Ok that’s fine. Here it is. Now fuck the GOP and their media enablers. More: NBC News
Note 12: Did y’all watch this season of Ted Lasso? Holy shit are we emotional wrecks.
Note 13: Republicans are racist monsters. We need to defeat every last motherfucking one of them.
Note 14: Hillary is getting involved for Peggy Flanagan in Minnesota. Let’s do this! More: HuffPost
Note 15: Racist smurf Ben Shapiro is making a movie about Renee Good’s murder. His script says the “fat blue hair” was shot in the face above and below her covid mask. But don’t worry because he and David Axelrod are both White Sox fans so Axe has something to tweet with him about. More: Variety
Note 16: ABC News told a judge it is holding back in its midterm coverage because of threats from Trump and Brendan Carr. So we don’t have a free press in America anymore. That sucks. More: Politico
Note 17: This is so fucking funny to us. Greg Abbott hiding from Trump is not something we saw coming.
Note 18: MAGA merch ain’t selling like it used to. Neither is Trump’s bullshit. More: HuffPost
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going to the European Parliament building in Strasbourg. Why? Because of the hilarious naked statue of Trump they just unveiled. RESPECTED AROUND THE WORLD AGAIN LOL!!!
Note 20: And on that anatomically correct note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a great week so far. Especially if you’re supporting Troy “T-Rex” Jackson. Let’s go! Love y’all!
Batshit Bessent
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent doesn’t work and play well with others. And here we thought he just sucked at managing the economy. According to the Wall Street Journal, Bessent has run off Treasury’s employees with violent outbursts. Apparently one of the things that sets him off is bad press. LOL. He must get set off a lot. But also how funny is it that all the big tough West Wing guys are afraid of this nerd?
More: Mediaite
$1 Billion
According to the AP, that’s what Republicans are going to spend on this election and they are worried it’s not enough. The main reservation pundits and pols have about the midterms is the GOP’s massive cash advantage. Elon Leon is dumping millions into tight races daily, and Trump has about half-a-bil in his super PAC. Oh and he’s not reimbursing us for the $10 million of our money he spent on ads so far. This is a real David vs. Goliath story if Goliath was an orange rapist racist piece of shit. Let’s hope America can’t be bought.
More: AP
A Dark Day
Today is the three-year anniversary of the Hamas terror attacks on Israel. While we have been horrified by what has happened since, we remember this day as a tragic, terrible, gut-wrenching terrorist attack. The stories of violence from that day are truly traumatizing, and we will always hold a place in our hearts for innocent victims. To our Jewish friends who are struggling today, we’re sending hugs.
More: NPR
Today’s clips
WASHINGTON (AP) — The primary Senate Republican super PAC is sending reinforcements to deep red South Carolina as President Donald Trump prepares to travel there to boost Sen. Darline Graham. More: AP
WASHINGTON (AP) — A day after President Donald Trump said he would start paying for controversial taxpayer-funded ads with a campaign account, there’s no sign he plans to refund the millions of federal dollars already spent on them. More: AP
Relatives of some soldiers killed in the Iran war joined dozens of Gold Star families from prior U.S. conflicts Tuesday at the White House, where President Donald Trump offered words of comfort and candles were lit for the fallen service members, according to one of the widows who attended.
Not all families of the six soldiers killed March 1 in the deadliest attack of the Iran war opted to attend. Troops who survived the attack have raised questions about why they were stationed at a site that didn’t have sufficient air protection and was viewed as a likely target. More: AP
WASHINGTON (AP) — Lawyers for a former Olympian whom the Justice Department charged with intentionally damaging the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, only to abruptly drop the case after determining he was not responsible, urged two government watchdogs on Tuesday to examine what they say was a flawed investigation and prosecution. More: AP
One of Melania Trump’s senior advisers dragged a trio of Hollywood heavyweights into an unusual victory lap over the first lady’s documentary “Melania.”
Marc Beckman invoked Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts and Leonardo DiCaprio in social media posts on Tuesday, using the box-office performances of their recent movies to bolster his claims. Cruise was first in the firing line as Beckman seized on the disappointing box-office opening numbers for the actor’s new movie, “Digger.” More: HuffPost
President Donald Trump blocked Maryland Gov. Wes Moore (D) from speaking at Trump’s Tuesday announcement of an investment in submarine manufacturing in Maryland, a source familiar with the situation told HuffPost. More: HuffPost
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Eva Marie Saint, the pale, willowy actor who won an Academy Award for her first movie, “On the Waterfront,” and starred opposite Cary Grant in the Alfred Hitchcock thriller “North by Northwest,” has died. She was 102. More: HuffPost
The latest from Adam
$1 Billion there are so many other places in this country that would benefit from that kind of cash. For it to be spent by just 1 party on the midterm elections is unreal, and not in a good way. The time for election spending reform is now.
Note 1: Troy is a REAL MAINER and not like the others who have been/are in this senate race. I will never forgive my sister state if they screw us all with Collins again. (But I will still visit of course, because my bestie lives there and it’s beautiful, but I’m going to have a humongous chip on my shoulder!)