We ain’t shutting up

It’s Tuesday. There are 413 days until the midterm elections. Trump kills again, the Confederacy is back and all that butt-smooching didn’t help the New York Times.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. How the hell isn’t everyone right now?!

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, we’ve got some good news and… well… fuck. Yeah, sorry. We’ll keep looking, but it does look like we’re out of good news at the moment. We apologize for the confusion and the brief moment of hope. Y’all, we’re not gonna lie — shit is fucked up. The days since Charlie Kirk’s murder have seen an unleashed and bloodthirsty Republican Party demanding vengeance on people who didn’t have a goddamn thing to do with it.

Yeah, we’re used to laughing off the fake tough guy rants of Vice President Dick Incouch, but we have to admit even he was terrifying yesterday. Or as terrifying as a guy who fucks the furniture can be…

Yeesh. Well that ain’t good. Yeah, the people who hate being called fascists are really embracing fascism and all kinds of scary talk and threatening to come for us all. They want more violence. They want us to be afraid. Well fuck ‘em. This is America. We talk shit here. And fuck anyone who says we can’t. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Today is the special election to fill Rep. Melissa Hortman’s seat. That should be big news since she was murdered by a Trump supporter. It should be even bigger news that the right has been pretty clear that they don’t care. Sick fucks. More: Mediaite

Note three: Oh and by the way, Trump’s scummy evil ass didn’t even know who she was. It’s hard to describe just how much this pissed us off.

Note four: There are other elections to keep an eye on. If people are voting where you live, join them and please don’t vote for the assholes. More: Bolts Mag

Note five: RIP to Robert Redford, an American original and a really Sexy Patriot. What are we watching tonight to honor this great and insanely good-looking man? More: NPR

Note six: Good luck to Gov. Tim Walz, who announced this morning he’s going to run it back and go for a third term as Minnesota governor. More: HuffPost

Note seven: A Black man was found hanging from a tree in Mississippi. Police say so far they have no reason to believe there was foul play. Don’t you wish you could believe that? Don’t you wish we had a Justice Department that gave a shit? More: KBTX

Note eight: In Texas, it is now illegal to be a Black woman with an opinion of Charlie Kirk. They charged this woman with assault — and the governor posted on social media about her — because she flipped some dude’s cap. Oh and they kicked her out of school. We’re sure the academic freedom people will be all over this. Right? More: Fox4News

Note nine: This New York Times story has a paywall, but it’s a shocking story about corruption and Trump’s relationship with the UAE. We’ve never seen a president this corrupt before. It’s really not even close. More: New York Times

Note 10: There has been a painful absence of Democratic leadership these last few days as we desperately look around for people who will stand up for us and for what’s right. Thank you to JB Pritzker for this…

Note 11: Speaking of Democratic leadership, Schumer responded to yesterday’s attacks on freedom by declaring he is still looking for a bipartisan solution to the looming shutdown. Is he fucking joking? SHUT. IT. DOWN. More: NBC News

Note 12: Luigi Maginone was in court today, where a judge dismissed the terrorism charge against him. He’s still gonna be tried for murder, and that’s a good thing because murder is bad. More: NBC News

Note 13: Even Republican senators are sick of Trump and Couchfuck kissing Putin’s ass. Unfortunately, they are way too chickenshit to do anything about it. More: The Hill

Note 14: Thank you to the journalist from Australia who asked Trump about his obvious corruption. We’re sorry our president is such a bitch.

Note 15: Kash Patel is testifying in the Senate this morning. It turns out he’s an idiot who has no business running the FBI. More: NBC News

Note 16: Dick Durbin, one of the most pathetic Senate Democrats there is, led off the Kash Patel hearing by calling for calm and telling us that Republicans aren’t nazis. Of course there aren’t masked men disappearing Durbin or his family members off the streets so fuck him. More: Mediaite

Note 17: Good news, everybody! The Jewish Space Lasers idiot is holding a hearing today on weather modification. Everything is just so, so dumb. More: WSBTV

Note 18: Trump tried like hell to fire Lisa Cook, but a D.C. appeals court says he can’t. Good. She didn’t do a goddamn thing wrong, and a bunch of fascist assheads are trying to destroy her. More: NBC News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the U.K. Trump is headed there today and our friends across the pond are preparing a lovely welcome for him…

Note 20: And on that brilliant note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are holding up ok out there. We know these are dark and scary times. We sure hope the people making things so dark and scary will eat shit and kiss our asses. Love y’all!

Cankles kills again
Trump took out another Venezuelan fishing boat yesterday. It’s probably not great that he’s got a taste for blood. When asked for proof of wrongdoing, Trump offered bullshit. He then said — and he repeated it this morning — that there are no boats, not even fishing boats, on the water anymore. So congratulations, America. We’ve successfully terrified a bunch of poor fishermen. Are we great again or what? More: Associated Press

They’re back
The National Park Service is getting rid of pictures of whipped slaves and pretty much the whole educational experience at Harper’s Ferry. Yeah, they’re literally erasing the brutal history of slavery on Trump’s command. It’s pretty fucking appalling by itself, but when you remember that they are restoring a painting of Robert E. Lee at the Pentagon, then it becomes pretty fucking clear what is happening here. This is a neo-confederate president, and it sucks that a mostly white press corps doesn’t seem to give a shit. More: The Independent

The free speech president
The New York Times said this morning that it will not be intimidated after Trump announced last night that he is suing the paper for $15 billion. The guy who pretended to give a shit about free speech followed that up this morning by telling ABC’s Jon Karl that he wants DOJ to investigate him for hate speech. For the last decade, we have watched as the press have kissed Trump’s ass, laughed at his jokes, avoided hard questions and just generally failed at their jobs. They thought if they were his friends, he would go easy on them. They were wrong. More: NPR

Today’s clips
Liberal Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor on Tuesday warned that the poor quality of civics education means Americans may not know the difference between a president and a king. More: AOL

For more than a half-century, vaccines have had remarkable success eradicating the most lethal and devastating childhood infectious diseases, saving millions of lives and ushering in a relative golden era of global public health.

But now, America is dangerously backsliding. More: NBC News

Former Georgia Lt. Gov. Geoff Duncan, a Republican who broke with President Donald Trump before campaigning extensively for former Vice President Kamala Harris last year, announced on Tuesday he is running for the state’s governorship as a Democrat. More: HuffPost

Attorney General Pam Bondi united commentators across the political spectrum on Monday and again on Tuesday after asserting that “hate speech” was not “free speech” under the First Amendment and would be a focus of her office – alarming her critics. More: Mediaite