Today’s Big Stuff 7.24.24 | Dark Brandon speaks tonight

It’s Wednesday. There are 104 days until the general election. Iowa reminds us what this election is about, Dark Brandon speaks tonight and VP Harris rocks Milwaukee.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But probably not as much as they’re using it at Mar-a-Lago these days. LOL.

Jim Watson/Pool/AFP/Getty Images

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! Are we the only ones who have spent the last few days having a blast? We don’t know which is more fun — working to elect VP Harris as president or watching the GOP completely lose its shit as they try to figure out how to run against her. Their latest is to attack her for laughing. Yes, laughing. They’ve apparently never heard  a woman’s laughter that wasn’t nervous. Like seriously what is wrong with these freaks?

Someone tell the scary dorks at the RNC that’s the sound women make when they are happy or amused and not reaching for pepper spray. Yeah, Republicans haven’t been this confused by a woman since they first heard about the female orgasm. But unlike the female orgasm, Republicans aren’t going to be able to just close their eyes and pretend like Kamala Harris doesn’t exist. This is why you don’t hire political operatives who have only ever met inflatable women — you end up with a whole super weird and gross political party that thinks women laughing is a bad thing and uteruses are where the pee comes from. 

Anyway, good luck to the sexist scumbags as they try to destroy our Vice President. They’re sure as shit gonna need it. Y’all have a blessed day. 

P.S. Sam and Adam wrote this new piece on Kamala and America here yesterday - give it a read and let us know what you think: TBS on Substack

Note two: You think we’re joking, but the idiots in the House are already trying to impeach VP Harris. We assume it’s for laughing. More: The Hill

Note three: Grrrrr. The thing about racist, sexist assholes is they can only pretend they’re not racist, sexist assholes for so long.

Note four: Netanyahu is addressing Congress today. Neither VP Harris nor Nancy Pelosi will be in attendance. After the address, Bibi is flying to Florida to meet with Trump. So yeah, we’ll probably skip the speech too. More: CNN

Note five: According to a new memo from the Harris campaign this morning, they have raised $126 million since Sunday from 1.4 million donors. Wow. No wonder the whole GOP is putting on their white hoods. More: ABC News

Note six: House Republicans were so busy kissing orange ass that they failed to pass any appropriations bills despite promising to do so. They’re a joke. So why does the press keep taking them so seriously? More: Politico

Note seven: The GOP leadership actually had to tell their members yesterday to not be sexist and racist when attacking VP Harris. And those dirtbags still couldn’t do it. More: Politico

Note eight: LOL. Nobody likes Jupiter Droopysack (JD) Vance.

Note nine: The Democratic convention is going to be a damn party. People are excited as hell! More: CNN

Note 10: Nikki Haley is suing Haley Voters for Harris. Seriously. How does she keep getting worse?! More: Wane.com

Note 11: We’re starting to see some national polls since Biden stepped aside and VP Harris stepped up. Reuters has her leading by two. Let’s go!!! More: Reuters

Note 12: Here’s some footage of Trump with a ketchup bottle after seeing polls that show him losing to VP Harris…

https://x.com/weatherchannel/status/1815859486734565852

Note 13: The Kentucky clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples is back, and she’s trying to get a new and shittier SCOTUS to overturn Obergefell. So this remains the most important election of our lifetimes. More: Kentucky Lantern

Note 14: We’ve seen reports that Elon Musk is backing off his money pledge to Trump, but we haven’t seen anything confirmed. What we have seen confirmed is that Tesla’s second quarter profits fell 45 percent because we don’t want to buy cars from a nazi dickhead. More: CNN

Note 15: Monday was the hottest day on record. Like ever. We can either elect someone who believes climate change is real, or we can elect Trump and die. More: AP

Note 16: There are few things in the world as hilarious as bad shit happening to Doodie Pooliani.

Note 17: We are so freaking excited for the Olympics. The US men’s soccer team is playing France today. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! 

Note 18: Just a reminder that Steve Bannon is still in prison and Henry Kissinger is still dead.

Note 19: And for today’s Happy Ending note, we give you the wise words of rapper Cardi B…

Note 20: If you are in the DC area tonight here is a nice way you can honor Joe Biden:

Link to RSVP here: MoveOn

Note 21: And on that helpful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a fun week. And we hope you’re doing what our amazing Vice President is doing and laughing at the haters. Fuck them. Love y’all!

Reality check
While we are damn excited to see all the energy behind VP Harris, we got a cruel reminder of the stakes of this election in Iowa yesterday when the state Supreme Court cleared the way for the state’s six-week abortion ban to go into effect next week. The good news is there is no one more equipped and ready to remind voters that Trump did this than VP Kamala Harris. The bad news is a lot of women are going to suffer until we can turn this shit around. More: NBC

Tuning in
Tonight from the White House, President Joe Biden will address the nation about his decision not to run for re-election and his plans for the remainder of his term. The president was cleared from his recent COVID diagnosis and returned to the White House from Delaware yesterday. We will be tuning in to hear from one of the most successful and selfless presidents in American history. More: CNN

On Wisconsin
Oh hell yeah. Harris made her first campaign stop as a presidential nominee yesterday, hitting Milwaukee, hitting Trump and bringing the house down. They even had to switch venues to fit in more people. The excitement is real, y’all. This is why so many angry white dudes are losing their shit. 

Today’s clips
Police arrested hundreds of pro-Palestinian protesters who were calling for a cease-fire in Gaza and an arms embargo on Israel at the Capitol on Tuesday, a day before Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is set to deliver a controversial address to Congress. Huff Post