Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it works way more than Mike Little Johnson.
Note: It ain’t always easy being a Democrat, Sexy Patriots. Dog knows we get held to impossible standards while Republicans can get into bestiality and barely face any questions about it. Hell, the White House press haven’t even asked about the Russians paying for Trump’s son’s wedding reception. But at least we know what we stand for — affordability, accountability and equality. Or at least we think that’s a good message. And we know it’s sure as shit better than this…
LOL. No. Fuck no. Hell to the no. No squared. No around the corner and up your butt with Jabba the Hutt. Nooooooooo. Nope. Negatory. No goddamn way. No on a couch and no with a grouch. No. No. No. Hell fucking goddamn no. And also fuck off, eat shit, go to hell and kiss our asses.
Our point today is that the next 47+ days might be rocky. They will definitely be stressful. We will probably get frustrated with our own candidates and ourselves. We will doubt, we will fear and Sam will definitely cry. But at least we have more to offer the American people than some sorry couchfucker like JD Vance begging America for another chance. LOL. Because that’s fucking pathetic. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: We did some therapy yesterday. We barely even talked politics. It was great. You can get caught up here if you missed it.
Note three: The president of the United States is now threatening to cut off all trade with Europe if they get closer to Canada. So he will destroy our economy out of spite. What a fucking moron. More: CNBC
Note four: Neither Canada nor Europe seem intimidated by a giant orange gameshow host. More: Politico
Note five: We just got a live look at the current state of the Republican Party. And they ain’t doing so hot…
Note six: The House voted to hold Leon Black in contempt over his refusal to testify about Epstein. LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! More: Yahoo News
Note seven: The Federal Reserve raised interest rates yesterday, telling Trump to eat shit and making it official that dipshit didn’t solve inflation. More: CNBC
Note eight: Trump told reporters yesterday that he won’t save the Kennedy Center if he can’t put his name on it. And then he was caught reading something about demolishing the building. It’s wild to consider that not one of our enemies have ever done as much damage to our capital as Donald Trump has. More: HuffPost
Note nine: There are much bigger problems right now, but what Trump is doing to D.C.’s public golf courses is a goddamn crime. Those parks belong to the city and the people. Not rich assholes. More: HuffPost
Note 10: Cankles McFuckhead held a rally in North Carolina last night, and it was a typical disgrace. But we definitely caught the part where he threatened them with withholding FEMA aid if they vote for a Democrat. Seems scandalous, don’t it?
Note 11: Saudi Arabia is desperate and begging France and Britain and Pakistan for missiles. Why haven’t they asked their orange daddy? Because he’s about to run out of missiles. More: AP
Note 12: The piece of shit who assaulted Ilhan Omar is getting sentenced today. We hope he enjoys prison toilet wine. More: AP
Note 13: We don’t think we’ve ever seen a U.S. Senate candidate tell someone to shut the fuck up and we are sooooooo here for it. Get their asses, Angie! More: Threads
Note 14: You know how measles is killing people? Well the HHS secretary with a worm in his brain and a raccoon dick in his pocket is giving a speech to a bunch of anti-vaxxers. Then he’s probably gonna go fuck an electric fence or something. More: HuffPost
Note 15: We would give just about anything to hear a recording of Joyce Beatty giving Trump hell. If only the rest of D.C. had her courage. More: HuffPost
Note 16: Joe Rogan says that Trump fans are nuts and he’s been left wing his whole life. Joe Rogan is a liar. Joe Rogan is someone who has a history of using the n-word and someone who refused to talk to the nation’s first Black vice president. He’s just a limp-dick rat jumping off a sinking ship, and he can go fuck himself. More: HuffPost
Note 17: Ron White tried to educate Rogan. Sadly, some people cannot be educated.
Note 18: Everyone hates AI and thinks it’s a disaster so of course Republicans and rich shitheads are trying to cram it down our throats. More: NBC News
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to tell you about the Power to the People concert that Tom Morello is hosting. Actually, we want to tell you about one band that will be playing there — Jack Sabbath. Yeah, Jack Black has formed a band with the sons of badass rock stars and given it a great name. And y’all know we love us some resistance rock.
And She’s Back!
Kamala Harris might have been down but she ain’t out! The Vice President is hitting the road to campaign with battleground Democrats, and she’s starting in Michigan with Abdul El-Sayed. We freaking love it. We haven’t seen a single poll showing Adbul losing, but polls suck and it’s smart to make sure we are unified. Thank you to VP Harris for doing what too many other Democrats have been reluctant to do. Let’s go!
The Hegseth Protection Program
House Republicans are taking yet another vacation. Yeah, the assholes who have barely done any work at all the last two years are leaving town and not having any more votes before the midterm elections. Why? Well because Thomas Massie was moving to impeach Pete Hegseth and Mike Little Johnson couldn’t be sure he would win this one. So he just sent everyone home. One question folks have is why Democratic leadership didn’t help with this and guarantee a vote. It’s a good question. If we win in November, that motherfucker better be impeached with a quickness.
War Criminal
A U.N. investigation has found that there are “reasonable grounds” to conclude that Donald Trump killed 120 little girls when the U.S. hit a school in Iran with missiles. The same body concluded that the strikes were war crimes. The cold hard truth is that Trump and Hegseth murdered a bunch of children and they don’t really give a shit. The White House press stopped asking about it, and Trump made clear he doesn’t give a fuck. We are glad to see the U.N. saying what many of us have known for a while — Donald Trump is a war criminal. More: Consequence, Instagram, AP, AP, The Guardian
Today’s clips
WASHINGTON (AP) — The unprecedented spate of mid-decade redistricting for the U.S. House has changed the congressional districts for one-tenth of Americans and significantly altered the makeup of at least one-fifth of districts, according to a new study. More: AP
CAIRO (AP) — The Saudi civil defense said Thursday that debris from an intercepted Houthi drone has killed one person and injured two others. More: AP
OpenAI has disclosed six reports of “unexpected or concerning” behavior in artificial-intelligence models as the debate on AI safety becomes increasingly heated. More: AP
The Trump White House has firmly dismissed as fake a viral image appearing to show Donald Trump kissing a woman on a golf course, whom social media users suggested was White House aide Natalie Harp. More: HuffPost
WASHINGTON (AP) — The House on Wednesday passed a broad package of sanctions targeting Russian officials and key pillars of its economy as lawmakers look to deprive President Vladimir Putin of the financial resources needed to wage the war against Ukraine. More: HuffPost
NEW YORK (AP) — Peter Max, whose colorful, psychedelic pop art expressed the optimism of the “flower power” movement of the 1960s and graced everything from postage stamps to a cruise ship, has died at 88, his son said in a written statement Wednesday. More: HuffPost
Still laughing at your ranting NO’s to couch boy! Made my day!! Thank YOU!!😆
Joyce Beatty is a BADASS!!!