More murder; more lies

It’s Monday. There are 281 days until the midterm elections. Senate Democrats start to hear us, trouble in the Fetterman household and a weekend of murder and lies.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. What the eff would we do without it?

Note: It sure feels good to be right, Sexy Patriots. Or it would if everything wasn’t going to shit. But we know that you tried to warn everybody. We know that you knew this is what would happen. We know that Trump murdering innocent Americans in the streets is EXACTLY what you thought would happen. But everyone else was just so fucking smart, right? Well fuck ‘em.

When Sam was a kid, or rather a juvenile delinquent, his sainted mother would warn him of the dangers of his actions and then tell him, “one of these days you’re gonna realize I’m always right.” To Sam’s great dismay and surprise, that turned out to be the truth. And that’s how we feel these days. We’re dealing with a bunch of fucking delinquents who don’t know shit about shit but they were just too goddamn smart and cool to listen to us about the dangers of impending fascism. We knew that one of these days they would learn we were right about everything.

Sadly, there is nothing satisfying about any of this. We wish we’d been wrong. We wish the dumbfucks had been right. But that was never gonna happen. Because they’re dumbfucks and we’re smart and sexy. There is no undoing the past. It’s on us all now to fight this shit with everything we’ve got. But maybe next time the dumbfucks should listen to us. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: We want to take a second to thank every single brave protester to who took to the streets this weekend. They can’t kill us all. God y’all are fucking gorgeous. And you’re winning. More: The Guardian

Note three: Trump announced this morning that he’s sending Tom Homan to Minneapolis. Because what that situation definitely needs is a fatheaded asshole who takes cash bribes in cava bags. JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MINNIE! More: The Hill

Note four: While Americans were protesting the government’s murder of a citizen, Tim Cook and other corporate scum were enjoying a screening of Melania. We assume they meant the movie but you really never know with that trash. More: Hollywood Reporter

Note five: We also need to send love to the local press in Minnie. They have been in the streets and fearlessly reporting the truth to the nation. We’re damn grateful.

Note six: Are you snowed in? Nice! We sure hope you’re being safe and watching lots and lots of shitty tv. Any recommendations for a snowy day? More: NBC News

Note seven: Greg “Bitch Boy” Bovino sure is feeling himself these days. Anybody else excited to watch this sonofabitch go down? That day is gonna be like 10 Christmases at once. More: Mediaite

Note eight: So what was Trump focused on while America was coming apart this weekend? His fucking ballroom and the NFL’s kickoff rules. Can you imagine if Biden had… More: HuffPost

Note nine: Thank you to Presidents Obama and Clinton for speaking out about Alex Petri’s murder. George W. Bush was gonna put out a statement but then he remembered he sucks. More: HuffPost

Note 10: We don’t know what’s worse — that this community has been driven to discussing politics or that we had to find out about it on Bluesky…

Note 11: How bad have the political winds shifted for Republicans? A GOP gubernatorial candidate in Minnesota just dropped out of the race because of ICE. As far as we’re concerned, he can still eat shit. More: Wall Street Journal

Note 12: Ted Cruz tried to dunk on Andy Beshear. How do you think that went? More: Mediaite

Note 13: Even the shitty Trump temu pollsters have him getting his lunch eaten on immigration…

Note 14: Ugh. Two Ted Cruz mentions in one day. He was caught on tape saying that Republicans are going to lose the midterms. He also said that Trump told him to fuck off. It’s the first time we’ve ever really understood where Trump was coming from. More: Mediaite

Note 15: Yesterday, Tim Walz made a comparison between Minnesota children and Anne Frank. It is chilling, and it is apt. HuffPost

Note 16: Wanna hear something fucking crazy? Minneapolis-St. Paul has elections tomorrow. Remember to vote, you beautiful freedom fighters. More: Associated Press

Note 17: Let’s check in on Greenland and see how they’re… oh right.

Note 18: Congressman Maxwell Frost was assaulted by a Trump supporter. This would be enormous news if Frost was a Republican, but since he’s a Democrat the press don’t really care all that much. We’re damn glad the congressman is ok. More: NBC

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the world of professional sports, where a handful of athletes have started speaking out about Trump’s fascism. Thank you especially to KAT and to Breanna Stewart…

Note 20: And on those inspirational notes, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are ready to go this week because shit is royally fucked up and we need you. And besides, you’re always right about everything. Love y’all!

Shut ‘em down
It has taken long enough, but Senate Democrats are finally starting to hear this. Over the weekend, all but three Senate Ds (Fetterman, Hassan, Shaheen) put out statements saying they would not vote to fund the DHS spending bill as it passed the House. This was big. Now we can’t defund ICE yet because they got more money than god from the Big Fugly Bill. But we don’t have to give them another $10 billion either, and we can send a message that enough is enough and Trump and his ICE goons are out of control. We are leery of how long they will hold this line — they’re asking Republicans to separate the DHS bill from other funding bills they can pass so it would only be a partial government shutdown — but we need them to go all the way on this. If they want our money and our votes, they need to show us they get it. Now. More: NBC News

Dear John…
As we just mentioned, John Fetterman spent the weekend being a massive disappointment again. And not just to us. Yeah, Uncle Fester is apparently a big damn disappointment at home too. In a statement, Gisele Barreto-Fetterman said that she was undocumented for many years, and she condemned the “terror” Trump has unleashed as “devastatingly cruel and un-American.” She’s right. We just wish her husband had the guts to say it. More: MSN

Alex Pretti
That’s the name of the man who was executed this weekend by lawless thugs with the Department of Homeland Security. He was filming their abuses. He tried to stop them from roughing up a woman. And they murdered him. They shot him in the back. They kept shooting even after he wasn’t moving. Then those soulless motherfuckers started smearing him as a “domestic terrorist.” He was an ICU nurse at the VA. Since then, America has started to show its rage. People are fucking pissed, and even Republicans and reporters are starting to understand it. ICE is on a killing spree, and the American people are sick and fucking tired of it and sick and fucking tired of the lies. Fuck ICE. Fuck Trump. RIP to Alex. More: Associated Press, NY Mag

Today’s clips
Gov. Tim Walz (D) offered Attorney General Pam Bondi a “pro tip” on Sunday: she should “work on” releasing the files tied to dead sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein more and spend less time focusing on the fraud allegations that have rocked Walz’s state over the last month. More: Mediaite

Ye, the hip-hop artist formerly known as Kanye West, publicly apologized Monday for his history of “reckless” antisemitic comments, attributing his behavior to an undiagnosed brain injury and mental health issues. More:

The Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots will meet in Super Bowl 60 after they won their conference championships Sunday, setting up a Big Game rematch from 2015. More: NBC News

Donald Trump warned a New York magazine reporter working on a piece about the president’s health that he would sue the outlet if the piece cast him in a negative light, in yet another effort to dictate coverage about himself. More: HuffPost

Eleanor Holmes Norton, the 18-term delegate for the District of Columbia in Congress and a veteran of the Civil Rights Movement, has filed paperwork to end her campaign for reelection, likely closing out a decades-long career in public service. More: Associated Press

The European Commission on Monday announced it has opened an investigation into Elon Musk’s X platform to assess “whether the company properly assessed and mitigated risks associated with the deployment of Grok’s functionalities into X in the EU.” More: HuffPost