Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it’s really worried about Southern California.
Note: Who needs a break from the doom, gloom and crippling anxiety? Yeah, us too. That’s why today we are focusing on some real heroes. If you’ve been reading us for a while, then you know how we have long been fascinated by the fact that Trumpism gives the opportunity for real, everyday Americans to become total badasses. We’re all Andor basically. That’s why today we want to take a second to show our gratitude to every tough-as-nails motherfucker who went into the lyin’ lion’s den last night and royally pissed off President Shit-for-brains…
Yessssss. Man, it takes a lot of guts going into a setting like that and telling the truth to orange power. We know Trump supporters are violent, crazy and cultish, so standing up among them and confronting their Jackass Jesus is some truly courageous shit. Especially seven times. LOL. THANK YOU to the Sexy Patriots who infiltrated the rally last night and probably made the president poop himself with anger. We love watching that deranged, delusional asshole get his bullshit bubble popped.
This is what it’s all about, y’all. We’re either gonna be brave and take on fascism and win or we’re gonna lose everything. We know which side we’re on, and it sure as hell ain’t the side that the pedo-protector is on. So thanks for giving him hell, Texas. Now please elect James Talarico. Y’all have a blessed day. More: HuffPost
Note two: We did some therapy yesterday, and it was awesome. Our friend Kyle joined us, and Sam even did a little singing. If you missed it, you can get caught up here.
Note three: It seems to have finally sunk in with Trump that he might lose the Senate. He launched a bigoted attack on Adbul last night, and he has even stopped publicly insulting Ken Paxton. Don’t you love seeing fuckhead scared? More: The Hill
Note four: This is one of the craziest stories from the campaign trail we’ve seen yet. Thank you to HuffPo’s Jen Bendery for getting it out there. More: HuffPost
Note five: The mainstream media are gonna be shocked that Trump is still fantasizing about Iran nuking SoCal…
Note six: TRIGGER WARNING — Please be advised that this story is about rape. It is a shocking story about a congressional candidate being assaulted while repairing one of her campaign signs. America is a fucking horror show these days. More: The Guardian
Note seven: You won’t be surprised to hear that Trump lied about paying for those government-funded ads. Thankfully, the DNC is suing him over them. More: HuffPost
Note eight: It really should be a bigger deal that Trump is going around bragging about expecting quid pro quo for his pardons. More: USA Today
Note nine: Putin just bombed two civilian buses in Ukraine. Yesterday the president of the United States called the murderous scum to wish him a happy birthday. We’re beyond treason at this point. More: NBC News, New Republic
Note 10: Us Sexy Patriots might not have Jeff Bezos’s money, but at least we have some self-respect. What a sniveling little shit…
Note 11: The USS Lincoln is nearly home. So Pete Hegseth is ramping up his lie machine to insist that all is well. More: NBC News
Note 12: Just a head’s up — we hate to say it, but we think y’all should know that the polling in Florida is not looking good. What the hell is wrong with that place? More: NBC News
Note 13: Obama is boosting Troy Jackson. We love to see it. But we bet Susan Collins is pretty fucking concerned this morning…
Note 14: ICE just released a Kentucky State University women’s basketball player after keeping her in custody for two months. She has a torn ACL, and those thugs kept her in pain and without surgery for two fucking months. Abolish ICE. More: SpectrumNews1
Note 15: RIP to American pioneer Maraget Hamilton. Can we please put women in charge of everything and instantly get a lot smarter? More: The Guardian
Note 16: Actor Glen Powell doesn’t want to talk about politics. So he can go fuck himself. And Stephen A. Smith wants to make fun of people battling mental health issues. So he can eat shit. More: Deadline, Bleacher Report
Note 17: Hey so we know you know this, but we really, really, really need to put a check on this crazy sonofabitch…
Note 18: It’s Debate Day in Michigan. Kick his ass, Abdul. More: AP
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going to Pete Hegseth. No, really. Because we think this will make you laugh so hard your sides will hurt like you’re running a race and really far behind. What a loser…
Note 20: And on that slow and struggling note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having an amazing week. Especially if you fucked up Trump’s rally last night. Love y’all!
Suck it Up
LOL. Ken Paxton’s campaign just keeps getting worse and worse. Not only did Trump just fuck him over by calling for Talarico to debate Ken (Talarico has been asking for debates for a while now while Paxton has been ducking them), but the people around Ken just keep leaking recordings of him being awful. The latest drop reveals that Paxton wants to go after Social Security and Medicare, telling people that we’re just gonna have to “suck it up” and cut benefits. We know Republicans think like this, but it’s pretty stunning to actually hear about it. Anyway, keep up the good work, Ken!
More: Texas Tribune
Korrupt Kimberly
The Wall Street Journal has a jaw-dropping story about Kim Guilfoyle begging a corrupt Kentucky donor to pay her massive American Express bill. The exchanges the Journal published are amazing. Not only is she corrupt as fuck, but she keeps begging the scumbag who pays her bills to stop texting about their arrangement. We’re gonna need some investigations into our ambassador to Greece.
More: Wall Street Journal, AP, The Independent
More War
According to reports, Trump is considering ramping up his war against Iran before the midterms, thinking that more people will rally around him and his party if he does. We think that’s the stupidest fucking idea we’ve ever heard. We also think it’s pretty fucked up that he’s just blatantly using our troops as political pawns. Here’s a question — why would we need to escalate a war we’ve already won? Why would we need to bomb them more if we already control the Strait of Hormuz? You know what? We’re starting to think this Trump fella isn’t on the level.
More: The Hill
Today’s clips
WASHINGTON (AP) — Millions of Americans who buy cheap drugs from Canada could soon lose access when a customs rule goes into effect later this month, a change that has sparked opposition from Democrats and some Republicans with the cost of living a top issue for voters ahead of midterm elections. More: AP
WASHINGTON (AP) — Worries around artificial intelligence cross party lines, with the vast majority of Americans saying the U.S. government should prioritize keeping AI under human control and protecting workers. More: AP
WASHINGTON (AP) — The midterm elections might look ominous for President Donald Trump, but there are places where his Republican Party could turn the tables on Democrats if it can peel off a few key wins in key congressional races. More: AP
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — President Donald Trump on Wednesday said he wants to develop one of his Florida golf courses into a presidential retreat where his successors can spend quiet weekends on the greens, describing it as “sort of a Camp David ” that he says would already have many of the security features needed to host presidents and world leaders. More: AP
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Federal Communications Commission is considering a request by a conservative group to loosen rules on political robocalls, including those with artificial intelligence-generated voices, before November’s midterm elections. More: AP
Donald Trump’s latest big crowd boast was brought down to earth with a bump by a C-SPAN camera operator.
During a midterms rally at the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, Texas, on Wednesday, the president once again took aim at the media as he boasted about the size of his audience in attendance. More: HuffPost
Isaias surged toward the U.S. Gulf Coast on Thursday as the first hurricane of the Atlantic season, prompting mandatory evacuations and school closures in parts of Florida.
Isaias was forecast to intensify rapidly and bring strong winds and a life-threatening storm surge to the Florida Panhandle, southern Alabama and southern Mississippi when it makes landfall on the northern Gulf Coast late Friday or early Saturday. Heavy rain with the risk of flooding was possible into the weekend as far inland as the Tennessee Valley. More: HuffPost
The latest from Adam
WTF is wrong with FL??? Elect Jolly and Nixon!! PLEASE!
It’s hysterical that Bezos considers artificial to be unflattering when you view his current wife.