Harris and Walz plan some A+ trolling

Today’s Big Stuff. August 14, 2024

It’s Wednesday. There are 83 days until the general election. Wisconsin comes through, Harris and Walz plan some A+ trolling and Dark Brandon tames inflation. 

Be advised: This newsletter cusses. But at least it doesn’t stay up all night posting all caps bullshit on Truth Social. 

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! It’s great to see you today! Or it would be if newsletters had eyes. Or if we didn’t have to take a moment to eat a little crow today. You see, we delight in pointing out all the cruel and idiotic dumbassery of the modern Republican Party. But there is one thing they are really really good at and we need to give credit where credit is due. Republicans are super duper awesome at finding and nominating the shittiest possible United States Senate candidates in the entire goddamn universe…

Um ok. Now this is gonna sound controversial, but we don’t think that this woman-hating open antisemite with obvious anger issues should be in the United States Senate. Or really anywhere near other human beings. In fact, he should probably be kept in one of those intergalactic mirror prisons like that thing from Superman. And we’re talking Christopher Reeve Superman because as far as we’re concerned that’s the real Superman. 

So yeah, congratulations to Senate Republicans on scraping the bottom of the barrel to find this deranged lunatic. We promise not to laugh when it turns out he’s a cannibal or something equally fucked up. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Oh for the love of Pete. Here’s another one! Seriously is there just like a heartless dickhead candidate factory? More: Raw Story

Note three: Speaking of disastrous Senate a-holes, Mitch McConnell is telling people that if Democrats win the House, Senate and White House, it will be Republicans’ “worst nightmare.” Sounds good to us. More: Raw Story

Note four: Y’all have got to see the new Cook Political Report ratings. While they show a super tight race, they also show VP Harris surging in the swing states. They even have her taking the lead in North Carolina. We’ve got to do the work, but damn this is exciting! More: Cook Political

Note five: Uh-oh! Trumpism ain’t doing so well in Wisconsin. Someone help us remember — is that an important state in politics?

Note six: Tim Walz hit the road on his own yesterday, and he brought the house down in front of an AFSCME crowd. We love our vice presidential candidate! More: Associated Press

Note seven: Former Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner is our candidate to replace the late Sheila Jackson Lee in the House. Let’s get this done. More: Texas Tribune

Note eight: Nikki Haley was on Fox News last night saying Trump can’t win if he keeps being a whiny a-hole about crowd sizes and VP Harris’s race. She’s probably right, but we think she sucks anyway. More: CNN

Note nine: Yesterday President Biden announced $150 million in research grants as part of his “moonshot” to cure cancer. If you’ve ever lost someone to cancer or battled it yourself, you know how important this is. Thank you, Mr. President. More: CBS News

Note 10: We don’t want to be wet blankets, but we felt like it was the responsible thing to do to show you these caution points. Now let’s prove this asshole wrong, shall we?

Note 11: All-time leading NBA scorer LeBron James has handed over his More Than A Vote organization to the Seattle Storm’s Nneka Ogwumike of the WNBA. Other WNBA stars like Brittney Griner and Cameron Brink have joined up too. Let’s go! More: Hollywood Reporter

Note 12: Richard Burr, who voted to convict Trump, said he will support him for president. So yeah, Burr is a chickenshit loser with no self-respect. More: Huff Post

Note 13: Trump is big mad that everyone is talking about how he was slurring and lisping during that ass-kiss-a-thon with Elon Musk. So please don’t keep making fun of him or keep making fun of him all day long. More: TRUTH SOCIAL SO NO LINK

Note 14: Today is the 89th anniversary of Social Security. It will be one of its last if Trump wins. So let’s protect Social Security and pretty much everything else and beat that loser again!

Note 15: The UAW ain’t fucking around. Ya love to see it. 

Note 16: Longtime House Democrat Steny Hoyer reported yesterday that he had a stroke but is recovering well. Get well, Steny! More: Associated Press

Note 17: Trump is still screaming about Judge Juan Merchan, who once again refused to step aside or lift Trump’s gag order. Sad. More: Associated Press

Note 18: Abortion is on the ballot in Missouri this November. Abortion is on every ballot this year. More: Axios

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to wish a very Happy Birthday to Steve Martin. Not only is Steve a brilliant comedian who has given us years and years of joy and laughter, but he’s also a warrior for democracy and an outspoken critic of Trump. Now here’s Steve and Kermit the Frog playing “Dueling Banjos.”

Note 20: And on that fun note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having the best week. And if you live in Minnesota, for the love of dog, don’t vote for Royce White or even go near him. Love y’all! 

Thank you, Wisconsin!
The Badger State did good Tuesday. By overwhelming margins, voters in the state defeated two Republican-led constitutional amendments that would have taken power from the state’s Democratic governor and given it to the corrupt Republicans in the legislature. Not only is this good for governance, but it’s a damn good sign for November in a crucial state. Democrats are fired up, organized and kicking ass. Let’s keep it going! More: Fox6Now

Love this
There are so many things to love about the Harris-Walz ticket, but one of our favorites is the way they keep expertly trolling Trump and Vance. The latest example of this is the campaign’s plan to have the ticket hold a rally in Milwaukee during the Democratic convention at the same place where Trump had his convention. The event is supposed to happen Tuesday, the same day President Obama is addressing the convention in Chicago. They’re also planning a bus tour through Pennsylvania on Sunday, starting in Pittsburgh and making stops across the state. This campaign is playing to win, and we are fired up. More: WISN12

Thanks, Dark Brandon
Joe Biden has beaten inflation, and it is long past time for the Fed to cut interest rates. A new Consumer Price Index report shows that inflation was below 3 percent for the first time since March 2021. That’s the slowest price growth since the pandemic. It really is amazing what the Biden administration has done for the American economy following a once-in-a-century pandemic. It’s even more amazing that they get no credit for it. More: CNN

Today’s clips
Indiana’s attorney general has dropped a lawsuit that accused the state’s largest hospital system of violating patient privacy laws when a doctor told a newspaper that a 10-year-old Ohio girl had traveled to Indiana for an abortion. More: Associated Press

J.K. Rowling and Elon Musk have both been named in a criminal complaint filed to French authorities over alleged “acts of aggravated cyber harassment” against Algerian boxer and newl crowned Olympic champion Imane Khelif. More: Variety

P.S. If you haven’t had a chance to subscribe to Adam’s new YouTube please consider doing so! More: YouTube