Accidentally Invading Mexico

Happy Friday. There are 347 days until the midterm elections. The Coast Guard loses its dang mind, Democrats stand tough and what an actual hoax looks like.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. That’s why we can say fuck Trump and the orange horse he rode in on.

Note: Sexy Patriots! The weekend is upon us! We freaking did it! We escaped yet another week of moronic cruelty perpetrated by a vicious gameshow host and his gang of tiny-weinered thugs. And while there is a lot of horrible fucked up shit to talk about today, we want to try something a little different. Today we’re going to highlight the heroes. And we’re gonna start with a badass motherfucker named Buzz Grambo…

OH HELL YES!!! Git their asses, Buzz! This man is out here chasing ICE on a goddamn scooter to give them what-for. He even upgraded his scooter so he could keep up with the goons better, declaring to Mother Jones, “Ha Ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!” They are calling him a “modern day Paul Revere.” He is the American Donald Trump didn’t count on. He ain’t being paid by George Soros to call out Trump’s stormtrooper shitlicks. He is the reason Republicans should be absolutely terrified. And he is the reason decent people should be hopeful.

Because we have learned this week that Trump is a lame (and limp) duck. He’s weak. He’s flailing. And Americans are rising up. This country ain’t over yet. The Sexy Patriots and Buzz Grambo are making goddamn sure of it. Y’all have a blessed day. More: Mother Jones

Note two: Yesterday the president of the United States made several calls for Democratic lawmakers and military veterans to be hanged. It ran on Page 16 in the New York Times. So yeah, we’re the media now. (h/t Mark Jacob)

Note three: The White House is trying to pressure Ukraine to accept a shitty so-called peace deal. They didn’t include Ukraine or Europe in the negotiations. So both Ukraine and Europe are saying no effing way. It really should be a bigger story that Trump is desperate to surrender to Russia. More: The Guardian

Note four: How incompetent is American leadership right now? They accidentally fucking invaded Mexico. We’re not even kidding. This sounds like the premise of a Pauly Shore movie. More: Newseek

Note five: Choose your fighter. One is an immigrant who was just elected mayor of NYC and is flying coach to go meet the president. The other is a fucking asshole. Yeah, Mamdani is meeting Trump in the Oval Office today. Good luck, Zo!

Note six: Some big news on the gubernatorial front. Eric Swalwell told our friends at MeidasTouch that he’s throwing his hat in the ring for California governor. And Tim Ryan decided not to run in Ohio. Good luck to both! More: NBC News, Cleveland.com

Note seven: They’re doing it. They’re actually destroying the Department of Education. It’s almost like they want us all dumb so that we’ll vote for other dumb people. More: Associated Press

Note eight: A war criminal was remembered yesterday. And we don’t have anything nice to say about him except that we appreciate that Trump and Vance weren’t invited. More: NBC News

Note nine: We are not quite done with election season. There’s still one more chance this year to really stick it to the assholes who are wrecking everything. Let’s do this, Tennessee! More: NBC News

Note 10: We don’t remember ever hating a Transportation Secretary this much. This asshole goes on television and tells us he can’t guarantee our safety, but then he tells us to dress better?! Fuck him. Just for that, Sam is flying home to Kentucky next week wearing only a studded codpiece.

Note 11: Greg “the Gasser” Bovino and his bitches are retreating from Charlotte after a week of chaos and mayhem. Let’s hope the next city they invade is up Trump’s ass. More: WCCB Charlotte

Note 12: Continuing our plan to highlight the heroes, Fall of Freedom kicks off today. Artists from around the country are going to be speaking out and “using their creativity” to push back against fascism. How can you not be romantic about the resistance? More: NPR

Note 13: Did you buy your Trump gun yet? No? Is it because you’re not a psycho loser asshole? Yeah, that makes sense.

Note 14: This one was almost the Happy Ending. John “Uncle Fester” Fetterman’s new book sold exactly zero copies at his hometown bookstore. And that is fucking hilarious. Maybe Lara Trump and the RNC can buy a few thousand copies. More: Mediaite

Note 15: U.S. Rep. Cory Mills appears to be a one-man crime spree and a total scumbag to boot. We have to assume he will run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2028. More: RawStory

Note 16: We’re sending love and congratulations to Rep. Nydia Velazquez on her retirement. More: Gothamist

Note 17: The Justice Department is looking into Trump henchmen Bill Pulte and Ed Martin on their efforts to lock up Trump’s enemies. We’re glad this investigation is happening, but we sure wish someone other than DOJ was doing it. More: CNN

Note 18: Some more hilarity — Elon Leon trained his AI bot Grok to say he was the best at everything. So people started asking Grok if Elon Leon was the best piss-drinker in the world. LOLOL!!! What a freaking loser. More: 404 Media

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re spotlighting another resistance hero. Enormous love and thanks to the death metal resisters who performed outside the Heritage Foundation. It’s not our vibe, but we fucking love the message.

Note 20: And here’s a bonus Happy Ending featuring a Kansas City Chiefs coach responding to Trump’s whining about the new kick-off rules. LOLOL! Ain’t nobody afraid of this asshole anymore.

Note 21: And on those beautiful notes of resistance, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a great weekend. We’ll probably take some days off next week for the holidays, but we’ll be sure to do plenty of cussing for y’all. After all, Buzz Grambo wouldn’t take the whole week off, so we’re not either. Love y’all!

Swastikas: Good or bad?
That seems to be an actual fucking question being asked by the United States military these days. Yesterday we were shocked to learn that the Coast Guard had deemed nooses, swastikas and the Confederate flags as something other than symbols of hate. The good news is that the blowback was so fast and so severe that the Coast Guard immediately reversed course. The bad news is there are apparently people in our military who like swastikas, nooses and Confederate flags. So yeah, it ain’t great. More: CNN

This is the way
We were all shocked and horrified yesterday when the president of the United States called for Democratic lawmakers to be hanged for sedition. But we were even more shocked when Democrats didn’t back down, didn’t apologize and didn’t wilt. Instead they took to the airwaves and stood firm. They made clear they were telling the troops to disobey illegal orders. They told Americans about the threats they’ve faced since Trump called for their deaths. They didn’t worry about the fucking civility police. They stood tall, and we are proud to stand with them. More: Independent

A story of tyranny
While we highlighted heroes today, we can’t ignore the reason their heroism is necessary. America is under attack by lawless thugs. Marimar Martinez was shot five times by Border Patrol. Then they arrested her. They lied and claimed she tried to ram them with her car. And then yesterday they dropped all charges. Because it was all based on lies. All of it. We’ve seen this pattern play out everywhere that Bovino and his scum have shown up. They roll into town bringing violence and chaos, they brutalize local residents, lock them up, lie about them and then drop the charges after they’ve left town. THIS is why the American resistance is rising. Because fuck this fascist shit. More: NBC News

Today’s clips
Government employees asked a federal judge Wednesday to block the Trump administration from encouraging job applicants to demonstrate their loyalty to the president’s agenda. More: HuffPost

Grammy-winning rapper Prakazrel “Pras” Michel of the Fugees was sentenced on Thursday to 14 years in prison for a case in which he was convicted of illegally funneling millions of dollars in foreign contributions to former President Barack Obama’s 2012 reelection campaign. More: HuffPost

A federal judge on Thursday ordered the Trump administration to end its monthslong deployment of National Guard troops to help police the nation’s capital. More: NBC News

Fátima Bosch Fernández of Mexico was crowned Miss Universe 2025on Friday, a dramatic victory for a 25-year-old at the center of the turbulent 74th staging of the popular beauty pageant in Bangkok who stood up to public bullying from one of the hosts. More: Associated Press

The Supreme Court is to meet in private Friday with a high-profile issue on its agenda — President Donald Trump ’s birthright citizenship order declaring that children born to parents who are in the United States illegally or temporarily are not American citizens. More: Associated Press

In the aftermath of President Donald Trump calling a reporter “piggy,” White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt suggested to journalists Thursday that they should be grateful he looks them in the eye and insults them. More: HuffPost