15 Comments
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sheryl jeffries's avatar

I wish Elon Musk would rot in prison

DonP's avatar

Prison's too good for him. He needs to have his citizenship revoked (because he lied on his initial application), Starlink and SpaceX nationalized in the name of national security, and get deported to, IDK, Uganda or India, or someplace far from South Africa.

Chris Ortolano's avatar

"Look at our rusted out aircraft carrier."

It looks bad, but it's not. It's what happens when you put a steel ship into seawater. Don't worry about the rust; worry about the extended (and unnecessary) period at sea and it's effects on the crew.

Judy Sherwood's avatar

Agreed. I am much more concerned about the 5,000 humans on board the ship. What hell has been visited on them all these many months? Isolated on a ship in the ocean for hundreds of days, no outside communication, lousy food... it's worse than a concentration camp. Thanks to Defense Secretary and his asinine orders. Idiot.

If I was a duck's avatar

The USS Stennis did 2 back to back Gulf deployments ( we did a mini yard time but were home maybe 3 months in the 5 months between deployments) and the hull never looked that bad!!

Chris Ortolano's avatar

I said it looks bad, but that's not the problem. Neither of the two destroyers I served on every got that bad, but on one deployment got pretty close.

Nancy Perault's avatar

That lightning bolt hit the wrong republican. Give trump an umbrella and push him out into a storm. Seriously, I hope his marathon campaign trip kills him.

Julie Jones's avatar

Hit the road, Donnie Boy! Your only hope of salvation is to spend tax dollars flying around the country. The rubes need to hear more about your ballroom, your gold plated whatevers, the magical helipad, perfect reflecting pool, data centers and whatever is going on behind the tarp at the WH. You'll have your dementia home healthcare aid, diaper nanny and first acolyte Natalie with you, to keep your fantasy world intact. They will come in droves to hear you mumble and slur and fall asleep standing up. And even better, Donnie, you will be shortening the time until the biggest event ever. The one where you won't have to worry if you have a Depends blowout. You won't have to hide your rotting flesh. You won't even have to sit up - you'll get a comfy place to lie down in. No walking up stairs. There will be huge celebrations, ALL OVER THE WORLD, just for you. Parades, even. Maybe with squeaky tanks. Won't that be the very bestest, Donnie? You'll be the center of attention for weeks, months, maybe even years. And you won't have to lift a finger.

If I was a duck's avatar

Looks like Grim Reaper can't hit the broadside of a fecking barn!!

Steve Smedberg's avatar

Great takes as usual. I especially enjoyed being reminded of the Temptations’ Papa Was a Rolling Stone. I wore the grooves out of that 45 when I was a kid. (And no, I don’t mean THAT 45 who is now 47)

Cranky Grandma's avatar

Papa Was a Rolling Stone is a fucking masterpiece. Thanks for the goddamn link. Love you guys.

Meredith Leonard's avatar

Trump doesn't need a very big ballroom.

Cheryl Foster's avatar

Thanks Adam and Sam for always brightening my day! Although, this item is VERY SAD, Ms. Gloria Steinem will ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED AND REVERED for her participation in the WOMEN'S RIGHTS MOVEMENT! As a charter member of this movement, may she RIP!

Angie's avatar

Appreciate the mention of early voting, fellas. I know Simon Rosenberg has mentioned getting large platforms on board with a BIG push and information dissemination to voters about voting early this cycle! Maybe you could join in? It really really matters!

Bren M's avatar

Giving Jabba a piggy back ride would definitely add new meaning to the term.