Yes, Trump is a [bleep]ing racist
It’s Tuesday. There are 539 days until the midterm elections. John Roberts is a knob, the press can’t quit Joe Biden and Trump kicks off his bullshit bribery tour.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But CNN and Axios have reporters who attacked a guy for maybe using a wheelchair one day.
Note: Ya know, Sexy Patriots, if there’s one thing that makes us lose what’s left of our shit, it’s the training wheels our esteemed political press always gives Trump as president. They coddle him, they make excuses for him and they give him passes they would never give Biden or Obama. That’s especially true with his obvious and virulent racism. How many fucking times did we see white reporters on television in 2016 telling us they just couldn’t be sure if the birther guy who wanted the Central Park Five put to death was a racist or not? Well it should be pretty goddamn clear now…
We don’t have to be polite here at Today’s Big Stuff. We don’t have to pretend this is racially-charged or some other meaningless cowardly bullshit. The New York Times we ain’t. No, here we can just say it — Trump is a fucking RACIST with a capital racist. And while we don’t believe a person can be a little racist, we definitely don’t think this asshole is a little racist. He’s A LOT racist. Like super-duper-extra-duper racist. He’s a KKK-cuddling, David Duke-dicking, burning-cross-kissing, hate-filled racist piece of racist shit. Still not sure? Here’s an interview with George Wallace’s ghost…
Us: Hey fuckhead.
George Wallace: Hey guys. Love the…
Us: Nope! Don’t you dare. So Trump is a racist, right?
GW: Totally. Mega-racist. Big time.
Us: Ok cool thanks. Go back to eating Satan’s shit in hell.
Too much? No, right? Enough is enough. We’ve watched too many white people dance around this shit for too long. But now he’s sending private jets for white South Africans while firing qualified Black people and deporting brown kids with cancer. If Trump’s not a racist, then we’re not fucking potty mouths. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: We want to give a shout out to the Episcopal Church for refusing to help Trump and his South African friends. We had forgotten what moral clarity looks like. More: NPR
Note three: Trump refused to let the AP, Reuters or Bloomberg fly on AF1 to the Middle East with him. Guess he didn’t want any questions about his corruption. That’s why Sean Hannity was on board. More Status News
Note four: We don’t know about y’all, but with Trump out of the country, we can hear birds singing again. We know it won’t last, but goddamn it sure is nice for a moment.
Note five: Aren’t y’all glad we paid for him to take naps around the world?
Note six: Our original opening note, before we lost our temper, was going to be an interview with the poor bacteria that had to swim with RFK Jr. We hope that bacteria had all its shots. More: NBC News
Note seven: We have to say that we are really digging the new pope so far. We even watched Conclave. Leo was just asked if he had a message for the U.S. We were shocked he answered “fuck Trump.” Ok fine so he didn’t really, but he does have some thoughts for us. More: HuffPost
Note eight: Oh look, another Republican congressman committing assault. Dude allegedly hit a voter with a clipboard. They’re losing it. More: Raw Story
Note nine: Hasan Piker was detained coming back into the country from France. Piker is from here. So that’s how shit is now. More: HuffPost
Note 10: Wanna know how fucked we are? Rand fucking Paul is making sense.
Note 11: Republicans literally want to starve some Americans to pay for a tax cut for Elon Leon Melvin Musk. Seems like bad politics, but what the hell do we know? More: The Hill
Note 12: Well holy shit, someone seems to have woken up Chuck Schumer. And even he is mad about Trump’s Qatari bribe. More: NBC News
Note 13: Nissan is cutting 15 percent of its global workforce. Thanks, Trump. More: BBC
Note 14: The Andor finale is tonight. Maybe now Sam will finally stop talking about this show.
Note 15: Canada, we’re so sorry. We know you didn’t start this shit. And we don’t claim this grinning ass-kissing creep.
Note 16: Oof. This is a hard one to read. She is taking a stand and resigning from the NSF and the Library of Congress. This couldn’t have been easy. More: Time
Note 17: Even fucking Dana Perino gets that Trump’s tariffs are going to destroy small businesses. More: Media Matters
Note 18: The Chinese president is taking a stand against “bullying.” Remember when that was America’s role? More: CNN
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to Capitol Hill where a member of Congress peed himself after some school children asked him why Trump is orange.
Note 20: And on that hilarious note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope your week is off to a great start. And if it’s not, just hang in there and maybe someone will give you a $400 million plane. Love y’all!
Note 21: We have a BONUS happy ending today!
Chief Chickenshit
We have to admit that we didn’t think John Roberts could get more gutless. After ruling to make Trump a king, the chief justice solidified his legacy as a weasel. But he just can’t stop. Now he’s blaming schools for the deterioration of the rule of law. Yeah, it’s definitely the schools and not the dictator president or the ass-kissing Supreme Court that made him above the law. Speaking at Georgetown Law School, Roberts said the rule of law is “endangered” and blamed a lack of focus on civics in education. Someone get this asshole a hotdog suit. More: Politico
Coward News Network (CNN)
It wasn’t that long ago that Jake Tapper hosted a debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. You might remember that Tapper didn’t ask Trump about a judge calling him a rapist. Instead he started with a question about inflation. So what is Tapper focused on these days? Well Joe Biden’s health of course. Yeah, Tapper and Axios’s Alex Thompson have a new book out today that accuses Biden of cognitive decline and a cover-up. So naturally they released some evidence today, right? Nope. Instead they have a salacious bullshit story about how a doctor said Biden might need a wheelchair in a second term if he has a fall. Nobody tell these soulless creeps about fucking FDR. NO GODDAMN LINK
Corruption conference
Donald Trump is checking in with the home office. No, not Russia this time. He’s in Saudi Arabia, where he and Elon Leon are getting a very warm welcome from some of their benefactors. Yeah, Trump appears to be having a lovely/sleepy time in Saudi Arabia with the guy who killed and cut up a Washington Post columnist. Call us crazy, but we don’t think they’re gonna be talking about how to help the American middle class. More: HuffPost
Today’s clips
The image of the 'America First' president floating above the clouds in Qatari splendor doesn’t sit well with some of the MAGA faithful, much less the good government groups who warn the deal may run afoul of the constitutional clause that bars gifts from foreign nations absent congressional approval. More: NBC News
Fox Business Network’s Charlie Gasparino explained why President Donald Trump’s tariff gambit failed on Tuesday morning, telling Fox News anchors Dana Perino and Bill Hemmer that you just “can’t do” what Trump and his economic team “tried to do.” More: Mediaite
The Wall Street Journal’s conservative editorial board on Monday cheered President Donald Trump’s climbdown from his mega-tariffs on China, busting the White House’s spin on it as a win by describing it in an op-ed as “more surrender than Trump victory.” More: HuffPost
The latest from Adam:
I’m a Ukrainian American. Here are my thoughts on Putin’s Victory Day parade.
If lying were an international sport, Team Russia would dominate. Assuming they were able to compete, that is.
Trump sure is loose and free with spending taxpayer money any goddamned way he wants. How is it ok for the Department of Homeland Security to have a blank check to charter private flights for taking brown people away and bringing white people in? Show of hands of any US taxpaying citizen that is cool with having their money used this way.
If Donald Trump isn’t a racist, no one is. Anyone saying he isn’t is saying there is no racism in the US. I had this conversation once and was told “Oh sure, there’s still racism here,” to which I replied, “Really? There’s still racism but it isn’t that? Then what is it?”