Ugh. Biden didn’t even mention sharks once for 50 minutes, he just focused on policy and America

It’s like President Joe Biden doesn’t even care about getting electrocuted during a shark attack.

It’s like President Joe Biden doesn’t even care about getting electrocuted during a shark attack.

For 50 minutes Thursday night, Joe Biden responded to questions from a ravenous press corps eater to gnaw on his bones with detailed and thoughtful answers to questions about the foreign policy challenges of our time, his substantial domestic achievements, the brilliance of his vice president and his fitness to do the job. 

But not one damn word about sharks. What the hell, Joe? 

While convicted felon Donald Trump spends most of his rallies talking about how unfairly the Jan. 6 scumbags are treated, how windmills are deadly, how great Hannibal Lecter is and how scary sharks are, all Biden talked about Thursday was the silly shit that impacts every life on this planet. Are Biden’s priorities seriously that messed up?

Or are ours? 

Yeah, we’re just yanking your chain. We actually think it’s pretty great that the president of the United States has an encyclopedic ability to discuss foreign policy without issuing nicknames or kissing dictator ass. And we really love the way he doesn’t say completely insane stuff like that crap Trump says about sharks. So someone please remind us again why we’re talking about Joe Biden’s cognitive ability and not that of the dim-witted freakshow who sent a mob to attack our Capitol.

Biden crushed it Thursday night. He might not have a silver tongue, but he does have a heart of gold. He also has a serious command of the issues, great care for the American people and a love for the free world. Trump doesn’t have any of those. 

The press wants a new candidate. They think Joe Biden and all his nerdy super important policy talk is boring. They want some action. Preferably some orange action. Maybe they should look at America’s leadership of a strengthened NATO or our economic boom times or anything other than their own book deal prospects and consider that the smart policy guy might not be the one who needs to drop out. 

Or maybe we can convince Biden to start talking about sharks and shit and they’ll start kissing up to him. It worked for Trump.