Turd alert

It’s Thursday. There are 690 days until the midterm elections. Manchinema screws us one last time, Chris Wray slithers away and Dark Brandon goes big on compassion.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Today it’s even using some towards its own party.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! We hope this cussing newsletter finds you well and promising to circle back after the holidays. Unfortunately the dumbshit factory is still cranking out dumb shit. And what makes that dumb shit infinitely worse is when we see Democrats we have believed in, fought for and funded trying to buddy up to some truly terrifying and truly fucking awful people.

Here’s a crazy and totally unnecessary and absolutely true story. When Sam played soccer in high school, it was a long time ago and there was still hazing. The varsity dudes would wedgie the hell out of the junior varsity dudes. If you don’t know what a wedgie is — and how could that be possible? — it’s when one or more people grab the back of your underwear and yank that shit toward the sky until you see stars or your taint and whole entire body rip in half. As a freshman in high school, Sam was warned that he should…