Trump throws gas on burning California

Today’s Big Stuff. January 9, 2025.

It’s Thursday. There are 663 days until the midterm elections. Trump throws gas on burning California, Sam Alito is SUPER corrupt and the nation mourns a good president.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. The apocalypse makes it really goddamn ornery.

Note: Hey, Sexy Patriots! It’s so great to see y’all today. Especially since it seems like America is, um, done. Yeah, between Los Angeles burning, Trump’s idiot empire lunacy and President Carter lying in a flag-draped coffin, it sure feels like America as we knew it is deader than disco. Hey TBS, thanks for the pep talk, Ted Lasso! We already know how much everything fucking sucks, you bleak handsome bastards! Ok that’s fair. We don’t mean to be bummers. But there’s a message of hope here.

If America is dead, then we can be sexy ghosts and haunt the shit out of the scumbags who killed our country and made it dumb and gross. We are the ghosts of American decency, and we’re here to scare the hell out of fascists. Sounds liberating, don’t it? The truth is everything is genuinely scary right now, and it does feel like we are 11 days away from the end of the world. Well, we’re here to tell you that we are like 62 percent sure that’s not going to happen. The world will go on. Probably. At least for a little while.

But what we do know is that we’re about to need each other more than we ever have. Just look at how Trump has talked about California while people there are scared and losing everything. The time is coming very soon when we are on our own. And while that is scary as hell and twice as infuriating, it is also a wake-up call that we’re going to have to lean on one another to get through this. Be good to each other, SPs. If you’re in L.A., please stay safe. If you’re worried for L.A., thank you. And if you’re Trump, please eat shit and then fuck off to hell. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Seriously how do you save a country where this shit is happening? What the fuck is wrong with people?

Note three: We’d like to take a second to thank the brave fire fighters who have been busting their asses and risking their lives to save Los Angeles. It’s hard to describe just how infuriating it is to watch Elon Leon Musk and the Libs of TikTok scum attack those brave heroes, but it’s a good reminder that there’s nothing America First about those fucking assholes. More: The Independent

Note four: It also really sucks that Gov. Gavin Newsom has to take time from the emergency response to deal with Trump’s despicable political attacks. If Trump doesn’t like how LA is doing shit, maybe his bitch ass should grab a hose and help out. More: CNN

Note five: Thank you to President Biden for approving emergency help for Southern California and not being a total fucking asshole about it like Trump.

Note six: We saw “actor” James Woods crying about his house on CNN and then blaming DEI on Fox. So while this fire is horrifying and tragic, at least James Woods lost his house. NO LINK ON PURPOSE

Note seven: Great news, everybody! Obamacare hit record enrollments just in time for Republicans to fuck everyone over! More: Associated Press

Note eight: Ugh. Poor Barack Obama. He had to sit by Trump at President Carter’s funeral today. We’d just pretend to be asleep if we were him.

Note nine: Looks like Trump is gonna have to lock up RFK Jr. for voter fraud! More: The Guardian

Note 10: LOL! Elon Leon is now admitting his DOGE bullshit isn’t going to cut $2 trillion. Congrats to every wimpy Democrat who went along with this crap. More: NBC News

Note 11: They can take our country, they can take our freedom and they can take what’s left of our sanity. But they’ll never be able to take the immature sense of humor that makes us giggle at shit like this…

Note 12: This morning New York’s highest court refused to step in and help Trump avoid his Friday sentencing. More on this in the news section as orange assface tries to get his corrupt SCOTUS to bail him out. More: ABC News

Note 13: The New York Times is reporting that so many rich people are trying to bribe Trump with donations to his inauguration that the Trump people have run out of perks to give away. More: New York Times

Note 14: The scumbag piece of shit who lied about the Bidens and was the source for House Republicans’ attacks on the Biden family has been sentenced to six years in prison. He won’t be missed. More: CNN\

Note 15: So we thought this was freaking hilarious, but it’s also become impossible to ignore that the only people who really seem to stand up to Trump are women.

Note 16: They’re getting the band back together! Yesterday SEIU announced it is rejoining the AFL-CIO after 20 years. And they’re doing so to be stronger to fight back against Trump. This is the kind of organization we like to see! More: NBC News

Note 17: NBC reports that Trump is planning some big raids for immediately after he’s sworn in to send a message. That message is he’s a racist fuckhead who spreads chaos wherever he goes. More: NBC News

Note 18: It breaks our hearts to see so many Senate Democrats joining Republicans to give right-wingers unspeakable powers to go after immigrants. Remember it when they come asking you for money. More: The Hill

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to send HUGE congratulations to President Biden on the birth of his first great-grandchild! Biden and FLOTUS were able to meet the newest member of the Biden family in person during the president’s swing through California.

Note 20: And on that beautiful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are hanging in there, and if you’re in Southern California, please be safe. And remember that we might be losing our country and our minds, but at least we have each other. Love y’all!

Arsonist-in-chief
Americans got an early reminder yesterday that when disaster strikes, Donald Trump just makes shit worse. While people in Los Angeles were in hell Wednesday, Trump decided to spend the whole day attacking Gavin Newsom and Joe Biden and spreading idiotic conspiracy theories about why LA is burning. None of these fucking morons have ever heard of the Santa Ana winds apparently. Thank you again to the people who are actually trying to put out fires instead of making them worse. More: The Hill

So goddamn corrupt
Yesterday “Justice” Sam Alito shared that he spoke on the phone with Trump this week just after Trump asked his pet court to prevent the state of New York from sentencing for his felonies. But don’t worry. Alito said they didn’t talk about the case and instead they only talked about a former law clerk who wants a job. And we honestly don’t know how fucking dumb someone would have to be to believe that. So yeah, prepare for our super corrupt court to save Trump’s orange ass once again. More: Associated Press

Farewell, Mr. President
While we were writing today, the country was saying goodbye to President Jimmy Carter. It was pretty goddamn gross to see Obama, Pence and Gore all have to pretend like anyone wanted Trump there. But let’s not focus on that shithead for now. Instead let us make sure we take a moment to mourn a good and decent man who loved America and loved Americans. We have learned all too painfully that they don’t make ‘em like Jimmy anymore. Rest easy, sir. And the rest of you just remember that Trump will die someday soon and then we can all poop on his grave. More: CNN

Today’s clips
President-elect Donald Trump’s comments that Canada should become the 51st state are no longer a joke and are meant to undermine America’s closest ally, Canada’s finance minister said Wednesday. More: Huff Post

More than 15,000 doctors have signed a letter urging senators to vote against confirming Robert F. Kennedy Jr., President-elect Donald Trump’s pick for secretary of health and human services. More: NBC News

Until recently, Greenland's 56,000 citizens went about their lives on the sparsely populated mid-Atlantic island far from the glare of international attention. Now they find themselves — and their political future — on the shopping list of the incoming U.S. president. More: NBC News