Trump is seeing things

Today’s Big Stuff. August 12, 2024.

It’s Monday. There are 85 days until the general election. The dream team lights up Vegas, the dumb team gets hacked and Trump appears to be seeing shit. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses bad language. But cussing out Trump feels soooooo damn good. 

Note: Hey, Sexy Patriots! It’s so great to see you! We have so much to discuss from this weekend and the week ahead. These are exciting times, and we can’t wait to get into it. But if it’s cool with y’all, we thought we’d take a moment to respond to the New York Times report that Trump has been calling Vice President Kamala Harris “a bitch.” This is for you, Don…

(Clears throat)

Now look here, you shit-eating chunk of diseased ass-cheek. We get that you hate your life and your weird fuckhead dipshit running mate and your moronic shit-for-brains kids and your soulless vapid wife who hates your goddamn guts. We also get that it really sucks for you to know that America hates you and the world thinks you’re a joke. It must really suck to be getting your wrinkled racist ass kicked all over the place by a strong Black woman who will make you piss yourself on a debate stage. But this is on you, asshole. You are more evil that one of Satan’s sharts, and Vice President Harris is your reckoning. And you need to keep her name out of your mouth. Bitch.

Phew. That felt good. Thanks for indulging us. Y’all have a blessed day. More: Huff Post

Note two: Oh and here’s another badass woman orange dingus shouldn’t have messed with. Though we admit she might have been more eloquent than we were.

Note three: Adam wrote about Swifties for Kamala If you want to join the call Tuesday, August 27 at 7 PM ET the free RSVP link from the organizers is included in the article! More: It's Happening: Swifties are Officially Organizing for Harris

Note four: Get ready for another big week for the Harris campaign as the Vice President rolls out her first economic policy proposals. And then the week after that it’s convention time, baby! More: CNBC

Note five: If you didn’t see President Biden on CBS yesterday, you missed out. We continue to be grateful to have a president who is such a good and patriotic man. More: CNBC 

Note six: We don’t like or trust Nate Silver and we think we should all ignore silly shit like this and just focus on the work but also LOOK!!!

Note seven: NPR fact-checked that batnuts crazy press conference Trump crapped out last week and found that he lied 162 times. How is that even possible? Does he even breathe between bullshit? More: NPR

Note eight: We were gonna get Tom Cruise to drop in on today’s newsletter, but there’s just no way we can afford that. So then we asked this guy we know named Bill Cruise if he wanted to drop in and he was all like “what the hell is big stuff” and we were like “ya know what just forget it, Bill.” More: Associated Press

Note nine: Yo, Wisconsin, you’ve got an election tomorrow. There are two questions. VOTE NO ON BOTH! Or that’s what smart people tell us anyway. More: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Note 10: Y’all, we are adding our obscene voices to the chorus of people singing Paris’s praises for those amazing Olympic games. And we can’t believe we’re saying this, but great job, NBC. That was freaking awesome all around and we’re so proud of all the U.S. athletes, especially those who brought home gold. 

Note 11: And since this newsletter is about politics, we wanted to point out this beautiful moment that was made possible, in part, by a president who wouldn’t leave a young American woman behind. Congratulations, Brittney! 

Note 12: Did y’all get one of the Harris-Walz camo hats? Did you happen to bet an extra or two? Asking for a friend… More: CNN

Note 13: Trump has basically decided to skip campaigning it seems. But he is doing a fake interview with super dork Elon Musk tonight. Nothing says I’m a normal not weird person like skipping normal voters to kiss the ass of the world’s richest lunatic. What are the odds one of them says the n-word? More: Associated Press

Note 14: Crime is dropping. Thanks, Dark Brandon. More: Axios

Note 15: Remember when Trump told us that overturning Roe was working out beautifully? Well here’s an AP story about how more than 100 pregnant women have been turned away from emergency rooms. And we know the real number is much higher than that. More: ABC News

Note 16: Well this is fucking hilarious…

Note 17: It is just too funny to us that Americans agree that Janky Doodienipples (JD) Vance is weird as hell. He did the Sunday shows yesterday to try and seem not weird and it didn’t go great. More: Semafor

Note 18: And here’s a story about Vance defending Trump having dinner with a Holocaust denier. Seriously what the hell is wrong with this freakshow? More: Huff Post

Note 19: It’s really nice and just a tad unsettling to see Jesse Ventura out there busting his ass for the Harris-Walz ticket. More: The Hill

Note 20: For today’s Happy Ending, we give you this picture of Vice President Kamala Harris, returning to DC last night after a long campaign swing and wearing a Team USA jacket. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Note 21: And on that awesome note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a great weekend and enjoyed these last couple weeks of Olympic games. If you have any suggestions for stuff we should watch now, please let us know. Love y’all! P.S. If you missed Kamala Harris and Tim Walz in Nevada you can watch Adam cover them both here:

We love Vegas
And Vegas loves Harris-Walz. The dynamic duo wrapped up their tour of swing states this week with a weekend rally in Las Vegas that packed the house just like the other rallies did. This rally came after Harris won the endorsement of the Culinary Union and new polling shows her surging ahead in the state. We don’t know about y’all, but that campaign swing got us fired the eff up. We can’t wait to see our team out there again! More: The Guardian

But his emails
The Trump campaign has been hacked, and the hacker has been giving Politico the hacked documents since late July. Except Politico hasn’t published any of them because Donald Trump isn’t Hillary Clinton. That’s the only reason we can come up with. Apparently the stolen docs include a dossier on all the negative shit about Vance, so we probably don’t need that. But it’s pretty damn messed up that news organizations have suddenly grown a fucking conscience. Especially when it has been reported that Trump didn’t go to the FBI after finding out he’d been hacked. Hmmmm. What’s he afraid of? And what is Politico afraid of? More: Politico

Wut
So we’ve been saying for days/weeks/years that Trump is losing it, but that dumb sonofabitch has truly gone round the bend. This weekend, while completely melting down over VP Harris’s popularity, Trump accused the campaign of using AI to generate the crowd that greeted the Democratic ticket in Vegas. We’re not making this up. That weird lunatic dumbshit either thinks Harris-Walz created their whole crowd using a computer, or he’s so desperate that’s how he’s lying about them. Weird, right? Who’s ready to show this asshole just how real we really are? More: CNBC

Today’s clips
The Biden Administration on Monday unveiled a new, multi-agency regulatory initiative to target corporate practices that officials claim are designed to waste consumers’ time and needlessly burden them with red tape, in order to maximize profits. More: CNBC

Israel and the United States are preparing for a potential Iranian attack on Israel as efforts to secure a ceasefire in Gaza intensify, with talks set to resume this week amid intense diplomacy to avert a wider regional war. More: CNN