Trump goes full “fascist”

Today’s Big Stuff. October 12, 2024.

It’s Saturday. There are 24 days until Election Day. Biden plans a visit to Florida, Trump goes full “fascist” and VP Harris is healthier than a horse(‘s ass). 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It really comes in handy this close to the end of civilization.

Note: Sexiest of Patriots! How the hell are you today? Fired up, freaked out and riding an emotional roller coaster that would make a sailor puke? Yeah, we aren’t either. We’re cooler than a polar bear’s toenails and not sweating this election at all. Ok fine. That’s a big fat lie. We’re Democrats. Freaking out is what we do. So let’s talk about what happens if this is the last three normal weeks in America.

We have put together a TBS Continuation Plan just in case the unthinkable happens. This newsletter, like anything critical of Trump, will have to go underground. So when you get an email from “Uncle Richard” with the subject line “Family Photos,” then you’ll know that you’re really getting TBS. From now on, we will go by code names. Sam will go by “Cobra.” Adam will go by “Naked Mole Rat.” Trump will be “That Dumb Piece of Shit Who Smells Like Rotten Ass.” We’ll need a way to recognize fellow resistors in public, so we’ve started wearing underwear on our heads and learning various bird calls. We will endure! 

Now is all this defeatist talk stupid, embarrassing and pathetic on about 20 different levels? OF COURSE IT IS! Because we’re gonna win this fucking thing and anyone who tells you different is either a total idiot or drunk as hell. We know people are nervous right now. That means they care. But let’s channel that nervousness into making calls and knocking on doors and calling out Republican lies. 

We love our country and the people in it. We don’t want them subjected to fascism. That’s why we’re nervous. It means we care and we’re all good people. So let’s do the work and save this country’s hot ass. Again. We got this, SPs. Breathe. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: LOL! This stanky asshole just called us all “scum” yesterday and he is running for president. But at least he didn’t say deplorable, right? 

Note three: Trump went straight up nazi in Aurora, Colorado yesterday. We’re gonna talk about it more in the news section, but we wanted to make sure y’all saw the Republican mayor of the town called bullshit. More: The Hill

Note four: Trump escalated his war against the free press last night, calling for 60 Minutes to be “taken off the air.” We’re starting to think these free speech people are full of shit. More: CNN

Note five: We hate to harsh your Saturday mellow with this clip from Jalopy Dicknoggin (JD) Vance, but you need to see exactly the kind of anti-American weasel we are up against. This whole country’s gonna be a couch if that twisted fucker gets in office.

Note six: Did you see Melania on the cover of Vogue? No. No, you did not.

Note seven: Don’t look now but the Biden-Harris economy, which restored the US economy after a once-in-a-century pandemic, has hit its targeted soft landing. More: NBC News

Note eight: Tim Walz is going back on Fox News Sunday. Aren’t you glad he has that job instead of you? We’d rather spend our Sundays cutting off our own buttcheeks and then grilling and eating them. 

Note nine: Can you imagine the scandal and the media outrage if Nancy Pelosi was too busy campaigning to call Congress back to help people hit by hurricanes? But with Mike Johnson it’s just a big damn yawn. More: Politico

Note 10: God bless Bon Jovi for going all in with the Harris-Walz campaign and dropping this kick-ass song. He’s seen a million faces. And he’s rocked them all. 

Consoler-in-chief
Unfortunately, President Joe Biden is about to do one of the things he does best — help hurting Americans grieve. Biden is traveling to Florida Sunday to survey damage and meet with officials. The death toll the last time we saw it was at 17. We’re grateful to have a president who takes this shit seriously instead of throwing paper towels at people. More: ABC News

Terrifying
Maybe one of the reasons we’re all nervous is because we’re up against someone who literally talks like Hitler and gets cheered for it in our own damn country. As we mentioned, Trump went full nazi in Aurora, Colorado yesterday, using downright scary language to talk about immigrants and promising to use the same law that was used to inter the Japanese during WWII to deport them. This happened on the same day that Mark Milley, Trump’s top general, was revealed to have called Trump “fascist to the core” and “the most dangerous person to this country.” So yeah, there is plenty of really scary shit to be nervous about. Let’s do what Americans do and defeat this shit. More: Twitter

Healthy Harris
The Harris campaign put out a letter from the White House physician this morning, describing VP Kamala Harris as in “excellent health.” “She possesses the physical and mental resiliency required to successfully execute the duties of the Presidency,” the doctor wrote. Meanwhile, 78-year-old Trump is refusing to share the results of any of his medical exams and even if he did, they would probably come from a doctor who smokes bath salts or some shit. Harris is ready to be president. Let’s put get her there. More: Associated Press

Today’s clips
Big-name politicians are descending on Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley in the closing weeks of the 2024 election, where voters in the swingy 7th Congressional District could determine which party controls the House next year — if not the White House. More: NBC News

Even by the usual Donald Trump standards, this week was bonkers. 

The Republican presidential nominee went on unhinged, racist rants against women and immigrants, denigrated one of the largest majority-Black cities in the U.S., threatened news networks with retaliation and spread falsehoods about critical assistance to people devastated by back-to-back hurricanes that ravaged several states. More: Huff Post