Trump gets an F

Happy Friday. There are 291 days until the midterm elections. President Loser steals a Nobel, ICE kills again and Renee Good was innocent.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But at least CNN ain’t calling us a failure.

Note: Sexiest of Patriots! How the hell are you today? Pissed off and at the end of your rope? Yeah, we get that. This year has been pretty fucking bleak so far. In fact, we see some people in the comments who tell us that we’re not going to have elections this year. Really? To those pessimists, we say watch this…

LOLOL!!!! Git their sorry asses!!! God we love that shit. And we’ve seen so much of it. Video after video of brave Minnesotans who saw one of their own murdered but kept going out in the freezing cold to stand up for her, themselves and for us. This week, we saw an American autoworker call Trump a “pedo-protector.” There are too many brave goddamn Americans out there putting it all on the line for us to sit behind our computers and surrender. We’re not having elections? Bull-fucking-shit.

With all the chaos and death and horrible shit, it can be easy to miss the signs that we are starting to win. But we are. Trumpism is not inevitable, and acting like it is only helps those miserable shitheads. Ted Lasso told us to “Believe.” That’s good advice. And it’s easy to take when we see the relentless spirit of the American people telling fascism to go fuck itself in the face. Thank you, Minnesota. For fighting and for reminding the rest of us to do the same. Fuck Trump. Fuck ICE. Fuck fascism. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: We normally hate linking to Axios because they’re Republicans who suck, but here’s a story about how Trump officials are talking about “recalibrating” their immigration approach. They’re losing, and they know it. More: Axios

Note three: We weren’t kidding about Trump getting an F. CNN did a poll that is basically Trump’s annual review, and it’s a disaster. He has a 39 percent approval rating, he’s underwater on everything and 58 percent say his first year was a “failure.” Ouch. More: CNN

Note four: Remember how CBS told us that piece of shit murderer had internal injuries? Well there’s been zero confirmation since, and even people inside the newsroom think it’s bullshit. So yeah, CBS is lying to America. More: The Guardian

Note five: This story is infuriating, but it’s important to share. It also gives us an opportunity to praise the local media who have been busting their asses for truth. If you’re not following the Star Tribune, you should be. More: Bluesky

Note six: We’re gonna get into this more in the news section, but we think it’s damn important that everyone knows that Renee Good was not the first innocent American ICE has murdered. There have been others, including Keith Porter Jr. in L.A. The Guardian

Note seven: Kyrsten Sinema wasn’t just being a bad Senator all those years. She was also being a terrible human too! Yeah, it appears that Sinema had an affair with her bodyguard that broke up his marriage. Even Manchin’s slimy ass never did that. More: Time

Note eight: Gavin Newsom hosted Ben Shapiro on his podcast yesterday and retreated on calling ICE “state-sponsored terrorism.” So when you’re cheering on those great social media posts, remember that it ain’t him and they do not reflect his beliefs. If he has any. More: Yahoo

Note nine: We’re gonna warn you — if you read this story, your blood might actually boil. FUCK ICE. More: HuffPost

Note 10: Um, this seems pretty fucking bad…

Note 11: We are begging elected Democrats to stop lecturing brave protestors about “taking the bait.” They’re not. They are peaceful, and they are being assaulted by the federal government. Stop amplifying the bullshit justifications for violence coming from Trump and get in the fucking streets.

Note 12: Uh-oh. It looks like Lindsey Graham confessed under oath that Trump cheats at golf. Yeah, no shit. More: The Independent

Note 13: Our advice to all Senate Democratic candidates is to loudly and publicly announce you will not support Chuck “The Cuck” Schumer for leader. He sucks to the point that it has to be intentional.

Note 14: Steve Cheung, the fugliest human being in history, was big-time triggered by Kimmel last night. These losers sure love to tell us what upsets them, don’t they? More: HuffPost

Note 15: The effort to defeat Fetterman in his next primary is underway. Goodbye, Uncle Fester. More: NBC News

Note 16: Canada is looking to China to be its new trading partner. So Trump is doing a wonderful job of making China great again. What a fucking idiot. More: NBC News

Note 17: The Black Panthers are back. Someone show this to Stephen Miller and then stand back as he wets himself to the point of dehydration.

Note 18: Look at this story, y’all. A Minneapolis church has delivered more than 12,000 boxes of groceries to families in hiding. This country is so much better than the scum leading it. More: MPR News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the White House briefing room. No, seriously. Yesterday, a White House correspondent stood up for truth in the briefing room. Thank you to Niall Stanage for knowing his mission. (Fun fact: Niall is the White House correspondent for The Hill. Sam established that beat in 2008.)

Note 20: And on that damn welcome note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are hanging in there. We know everyone is on edge. Give yourself a break. Then get back to cussing the fascists. Love y’all!

BONUS NOTE: America is not afraid of Liddle Greg Bovino, and we are not gonna lose to this little shit. Keep cussing, y’all!

So damn embarrassing
America’s global humiliation got worse yesterday as President Cankles stole someone else’s Nobel Prize. Ok so she gave it to him, but it’s still pretty fucking pathetic. Yeah, Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Machado went to the White House and gave her prize to Trump. Because he has no soul and no class, Trump eagerly took it. We’re embarrassed as Americans, and we’re pretty embarrassed for Machado too. Because we all know Trump is gonna take that prize and then tell her to fuck off. How people haven’t figured this out a decade in is just beyond us. More: Yahoo

Homicide
ICE is really putting up a big body count. You know about Renee Good and Keith Porter Jr. But we learned yesterday that a Texas medical examiner is going to classify the death of a detainee at an ICE concentration camp a “homicide.” According to a witness, guards strangled Geraldo Lunas Campos to death and then lied about it. Someone tell Chuck Schumer that we consider murdering people to be a kitchen table issue. More: The Guardian

Innocent
The New York Times did a deep video analysis of what happened before Jonathan Ross murdered Renee Good. It’s pretty upsetting. She was still alive when ICE scum refused to let a doctor check her pulse. Ross shot her four times. She was making a three-point turn to leave. The car did not hit Ross unless it “grazed” him. And it was Ross who called Good a “fucking bitch.” She was murdered. We all saw it, and this just confirms that. Fuck ICE. More: New York Times, Mediaite

Today’s clips
CNN senior crime and justice correspondent Shimon Prokupecz was interrupted repeatedly by a screaming protester whose profanely cutting insult to ICE agents rang out as clear as a bell live on the air. More: Mediaite

A group of mostly Democratic U.S. senators sent a letter Thursday to the U.S. Postal Service, voicing concern that mail processing changes could affect postmark dates for mail-in ballots during an election year that will determine control of Congress. More: Associated Press

As a bipartisan congressional delegation began a whirlwind round of meetings with the leaders of Denmark and Greenland, Danish people made it clear they have no interest in a U.S. takeover of the Arctic island and they want their leaders to stand their ground. More: NBC News

US District Judge William Young said on Thursday that he will soon issue an order aimed at stopping President Donald Trump’s administration from retaliating against “academics who challenged its arresting, detaining, and deporting non-citizens, pro-Palestinian, anti-Israel activists on US college campuses,” reported Reuters. More: Mediaite

Bitter cold and snow are sweeping nearly half the country on Friday, with 18 million Americans under cold-weather alerts as they wake up ahead of the holiday weekend. More: NBC News

It’s only the first month of the year, and Donald Trump has already forcibly removed a world leader and threatened to take over Greenland. But for astrologers, his most chaotic actions are yet to come. More: HuffPost