Trump flirts with economic panic

Today’s Big Stuff. December 13, 2024.

Happy Friday. There are 689 days until the midterm elections. Trump flirts with economic panic, RFK Jr. is terrifying and Trump breaks another big campaign promise.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But at least it ain’t trying to bring back polio.

Note: Hey there, Sexy Patriots! Congrats on making it to the weekend. We have to admit we had forgotten the way every week lasts a month in Trumpland, and we’re excited to take a couple days pouring purell in our eyes before we read more news. But before we go, we wanted to say a word of praise for the yutes. What? Did you say yutes? Oh excuse us, your honor. Youthhhhhhs. And this yute right here just gets it… Watch video here

Fuckin-A right, baby. That’s how you do it. Thank you, Rep. Maxwell Alejandro Frost! See how easy he made that look? See how easy he didn’t kiss billionaire ass? See how he didn’t pretend like there’s something redeemable about Trump or Elon Leon? See the way he clearly laid out what the fuck it is we’re fighting for and who we’re against and why? That shit right there is why we are Democrats. It’s why we do all of this crazy crap. It’s why we fight. And it’s why we need to embrace and elevate some of our young leaders like Frost.

We know the immediate future is gonna suck pig anus, but we can fight and we can build and eventually the fighting and the building will yield brighter non-pig anusy days. We can do it for the yutes and with the yutes. They’ve earned it, and we need their voices. And we’re totally watching My Cousin Vinny tonight. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Here’s the classic clip in case you have no idea what we were talking about with all that yute stuff…

Note three: And here’s a story about House Democrats who are legitimizing Elon Leon’s bullshit. There are people in this story we like, but we think they are making a massive mistake by going along with this garbage and we do not understand it at all. More: Axios

Note four: Jalopy Douchemouth (JD) Vance has emerged from the backroom at a local furniture store in order to endorse the vigilante killing of homeless people. We’re not even kidding. He’s taking that guy who murdered someone on the subway as his guest to a football game. We’re expecting a billion hot takes about why it’s wrong to glorify a murderer but only if he kills a rich CEO. More: Politico

Note five: We’ve seen a lot of garbage about how popular Trump’s transition is, and it’s total horseshit. Here’s a new poll from the AP reminding us that Americans don’t like or trust Trump, and he sure as hell doesn’t have a mandate. Watch here: Bluesky

Note six: Jeff Bezos, the owner of the Washington Post, is giving $1 million to Trump’s inauguration. The one thing you have to appreciate about Trump is the way he gets all these tough guys to reveal themselves as ass-kissing wimps. More: Wall Street Journal

Note seven: And the billionaire butt-kiss owner of the L.A. Times has interfered with his paper again to kill a piece that was critical of Trump’s cabinet picks. So that newspaper is deader than disco. More: The Wrap

Note eight: Elon Leon’s Teslas are among the most dangerous cars on the road. And now he wants the government to drop a car-crash reporting requirement. Sounds totally aboveboard. More: Reuters

Note nine: Politico is asking today “Can Trump be the new Reagan?” It’s such a coincidence because we were working on a piece called “Can Politico be anymore fucking pathetic?” More: NO LINK ON PURPOSE

Note 10: It sure is hard to understand why so many Americans think the Republican Party only gives a shit about old rich white dudes. More: Bluesky

Note 11: You know how Republicans spent the last few years telling everyone the FBI had secret agents who actually attacked the Capitol on Jan. 6? Well you won’t be surprised to hear that was a total goddamn lie. More: CNN

Note 12: Oh and the guy who started all the lies about the Bidens and Burisma admitted he lied about all of it. Everyone pretend to be surprised. James Comer must be so embarrassed. Or he would be if he wasn’t full of shit. More: Associated Press

Note 13: Happy birthday to Taylor Swift and Dick van Dyke. Two Hall of Famers who have brought a lot of joy to people’s lives.

Note 14: Joe Biden is going to appoint more federal judges of color than any other president. That’s a hell of an accomplishment, and Brandon deserves credit for it. Especially since the next guy will put the literal fucking KKK on the bench. More: NBC News

Note 15: We wish we could delight in the irony that Trump is going to come after the journalists who kissed his ass, normalized him and carried his water. But it’s honestly just too gross and scary. More: Bluesky

Note 16: John Fetterman is talking about voting for Pete Hegseth?! Seriously?! What the fuck are we doing here? He’s starting to look like Sinema in a hoodie! More: CNN

Note 17: Wait. So Tiffany Trump’s father-in-law who Trump wants to be ambassador to the Middle East is actually just a con-artist who lied about being a billionaire? Guess he’ll fit right in. More: The Independent

Note 18: The president of China isn’t going to show up for Trump’s inauguration. What a wimp. Couldn’t even get a communist dictator to come clap for him. More: Independent

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we got nothing. So here’s Eric Cartman getting shocked by a cattle prod while he sings O Holy Night. Y’all have a great weekend.

Note 20: And on that holiday note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a great weekend. Thank you for joining us. There’s nobody we’d rather fight the assholes with than you. Love y’all!

Note 21: And just as a bonus, here’s John Prine and Iris DeMent singing In Spite of Ourselves. (The song starts are 1:40.)

FDICrazy
So on the long list of really bad ideas coming out of Trumpland these days, this is one of the worst. Apparently Team Trump is looking at getting rid of the FDIC, which insures the money you keep in the bank. Before the FDIC, this country occasionally had bank runs where panicked people would show up at their bank demanding money that wasn’t there. It’s basically like Trump wants to take everything we learned from the Great Depression and World War II and just chuck that shit out the window. More: Reuters

Polio pals
It’s hard to think of anything scarier than that FDIC stuff, but this is Trump so there’s lots to choose from. Apparently he and RFK Jr. are gonna put their empty heads together and decide which vaccines are ok for kids. And the guy advising RFK has been trying for years to get the polio vaccine pulled. We’re not even kidding. So yeah, these two dumbfucks who haven’t even been inside a medical school are going to get a lot of kids killed. More: The Guardian

Liar
Remember when the press made it a big deal that Joe Biden broke a campaign promise because he wasn’t able to unify the nation? Well then surely they must be furious about Trump’s broken campaign promises. After months of saying grocery prices would be coming down if he was elected, Trump now says he can’t guarantee that and “it’s hard” to bring prices down when they are high. Yeah, no shit. This follows the broken campaign promise that the war in Ukraine would end just as soon as he was elected. So yeah we’re starting to think this habitual liar is completely full of shit. More: CNN

Today’s clips
Pete Hegseth, President-elect Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Department of Defense, on Thursday appeared to walk back past comments criticizing policies that allowed openly gay people to serve in the U.S. military. More: Huff Post

The House on Thursday passed a bipartisan bill backed by the federal judiciary that would create dozens of new judgeships despite President Joe Biden's pledge to veto it. More: NBC News

Poland’s Prime Minister Donald Tusk made a not-so-subtle jab at Donald Trump on Thursday over the president-elect’s history of awkward handshakes with France’s Emmanuel Macron. More: Huff Post