It’s Saturday. There are 31 days until Election Day. Trump and Leon lie about Helene, Biden worries about Republicans and the election and a grift of biblical scale.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And you better believe it used a shitload of it when someone gave Trump a damn Purple Heart.
Note: Sexy Patriots! We’ve got some great news for you today. It turns out that you’re on the good side. Yeah, we know you already knew that, but we recently confirmed it. Again. How? Well, we saw this dumb motherfucker saying the “bad guys” won World War II, we checked his party registration and we saw he’s on the other team. Like REALLY the other other team… More: Heartland Signal
Sonofa… Yeah, that’s Minnesota’s Royce White, a homophobic misogynistic piece of shit who would be the worst candidate on the planet if Mark Robinson, Trump and Vance were beamed up into space. We talk about it a lot, but it’s pretty damn amazing how fast Republicans went full on nazi. We figured they’d ease into it a bit after finding their Hitler, but nope, they went all-in right away. We’re even more blown away that this is the second Black nazi the nation has encountered in the last month. What the hell is happening in the Republican Party?!
Oh well, fuck ‘em. Let us do what Americans do this November and kick some nazi ass to hell and back. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: You know how we can avoid worrying about what House Republicans do on Jan. 6? By making sure a Democratic House is sworn in on Jan. 3. We can do this, y’all. All gas; no brakes. More: Huff Post
Note three: Instead of trying to seem normal and not bloodthirsty down the homestretch, Trump is doing an NRA event in Georgia on Oct. 22. It’s nice of him to remind us that he doesn’t give a shit if we live or die. More: WTOC
Note four: Marco Rubio, who has now lost his spine, balls and mind to Trumpism, said yesterday that the stellar jobs numbers were fake. Here’s Dark Brandon telling him what’s up… More: DNC War Room
Note five: Jon Tester ain’t giving up in Montana. So we’re not giving up on Jon Tester. Especially since we like how he cusses. More: Huff Post
Note six: If you’ve been with us for a while then you know how much we love us some Dolly Parton. Shit like this is why. Also, Jolene. More: Twitter
Note seven: We’re not wealthy enough to know who Ben Horowitz is, but he’s a super rich Silicon Valley dude who dumped Trump to back Harris. We still don’t like him, but this seems like a good thing. More: Axios
Note eight: We’re not super hip, but we love that VP Harris keeps doing interviews like this while telling the New York Times to kiss her ass. More: Pop Crave
Note nine: It was so cool to see Magic Johnson stumping for Kamala Harris in his native Michigan. That dude knows a thing or two about winning. More: Raw Story
Note 10: Before we get to the news, let’s check in on our dear friend Tina Peters. Yellow is a good color on her. So is prison. More: Link
Chaos campaign
While Republicans on the ground have been praising Joe Biden and the federal response to Helene, Trump and his apartheid asshead buddy Elon Leon Musk have been spreading lies like crazy that FEMA is out of money because it all went to undocumented immigrants. To be clear, this is a total fucking lie. It’s scary though. Twitter used to label shit like this and warn against misinformation. Now its owner uses it for the express purpose of spreading Trump’s lies. Are we gonna let the richest guy in the world buy our country with his bullshit? No. No we are not. More: CNN
Us too, Joe
Yesterday Dark Brandon made an appearance in the White House briefing room to do a victory lap on the September jobs numbers. (We saw someone online call him Joseph Jobinette Biden and we lost it.) While there, Biden was asked if he is confident there will be a free and fair election and that it will be peaceful. Biden said he is “confident it will be free and fair. I don’t know whether it will be peaceful.” He noted that Vance and Trump are both saying they won the last election and already refusing to say if they’ll concede a loss in this one. The last few weeks of this election should be about Trump’s threat to our security. Let’s hope it is. More: NBC News
Going to hell
We’ve seen some grifting during the Trump years, but this might take the cake. Oklahoma superintendent and Trump kiss-ass Ryan Walters is looking to spend $6 million on bibles so he can put one in every classroom in Oklahoma. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it now appears that Walters made the bid so that the only bibles that fit his criteria are Trump’s $60 bibles. Yeah, Oklahoma is not OK. And this dude is going to hell. More: Huff Post
Today’s clips
In the wake of Hurricane Helene, which has devastated multiple states along the Eastern seaboard, President Joe Biden is urging lawmakers to replenish some critical disaster relief programs that have nearly run out of money. More: CNN
As Donald Trump visits Butler, Pa., today for the first time since he narrowly survived an assassination attempt there, current and former Secret Service agents fear another security lapse. More: NBC News
Israel expanded its bombardment in Lebanon on Saturday, hitting Beirut’s southern suburbs with 12 airstrikes and striking a Palestinian refugee camp deep in northern Lebanon for the first time. More: Huff Post
May that be the last smile on Tina Peters’ face for the next 9 years.
I voted yesterday - drove to the County courthouse and put it in the indoor dropbox 💙💙💙💙