Today’s Big Stuff 7.9.24 | Republicans unveil their fake platform

It’s Tuesday. There are 118 days until the general election. Republicans unveil their fake platform, Biden’s ‘left-behind’ miracle and the prez drops a note from his doctor.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It helps us cuss out the creeps. 

Note: Well hey there, Sexy Patriots! How are y’all today? Well you smell fantastic. Us? We’re still getting used to our new digs, but we’re hustling to try and keep this crazy newsletter afloat. We heard a lot of suggestions yesterday — some folks want us to stop cussing; other folks want us to cuss more — and we’re listening to all of them. We’re gonna try some new shit and try to stick with some old shit until we find out what works. TBS is an awesome and awesomely weird community, and we’re gonna rise or fall together. Just like the Democratic Party. And just like America.

No, that was not cheesy. It was inspired. Ok fine it was cheesy and inspired. Cheespired? Regardless, that is today’s message — unity. It won’t surprise you to know that President Biden doesn’t check in with this cussing newsletter to decide on his future, so we can honestly say we have zero input on what he does. All we know is that Donald Trump cannot get back to the White House. Not even on a goddamn tour. Right now, Joe Biden is our nominee. As long as that’s the case, we’re done debating it. We’re focused on winning. We’re focusing on saving this country from a dim-witted lunatic. If something changes, then we’ll re-evaluate. But right now, we’re all in on Ridin’ with Biden while Trump’s in hidin’. 

If you feel differently, let us know. We’re not Republicans. Differing viewpoints are allowed here. So feel free to give us a hell yeah or an eff no. We can take it. Probably. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: This is the media in this country right now. This is why we’re trying to step up. More: Threads

Note three: The Bob’s Burgers insurrectionist a-hole pleaded guilty yesterday. It’s amazing the weird shit we find ourselves writing these days. More: Associated Press

Note four: Here’s some of the new stuff we’re trying out for subscribers on Substack. This is a story about Kristi Noem being an unstoppable killing machine. More: Substack

Note five: Amber Rose is speaking at the Republican convention. If you don’t know who that is, we encourage you to click this link. But you probably shouldn’t have a mouthful of coffee when you do. More: Billboard

Note six: Call us crazy, but the evil stuff this scary elf is talking about terrifies us way more than someone being 81 years old. More: Threads

Note seven: AOC, Hakeem Jeffries and the Congressional Black Caucus all came out strong for Biden yesterday. More: TBS on Substack, The Hill

Note eight: Oh look. A Trump judge had to resign for being a creepy piece of shit. More: The Guardian

Note nine: Jasmine Crockett is amazing. Chip Roy is a wart on a frog’s ass. And not an especially bright frog. More: Huff Post

Note 10: We had somehow missed this gem from Marjorie. She ain’t too bright, folks. More: Threads

Note 11: Trump is getting close to picking his running mate. It’ll either be a rich white shithead who kisses his ass or a rich white shithead who kisses his ass. More: Associated Press

Note 12: Just a reminder that Trump needs a new running mate because he tried to kill the last one. A lot of reporters seem to be leaving that out. 

Note 13: The NATO summit is in DC this week and Joe is gonna rally the team to keep saving Ukraine. More: Associated Press

Note 14: The White House press owes Karine Jean-Pierre an apology for their behavior yesterday. More: CNN

Note 15: This made us laugh. And sums it up pretty well. More: Threads

Note 16: Columnist Margaret Sullivan does a good job here of laying out the appalling double standard we’ve all been seeing in the media these days. More: The Guardian

Note 17: It’s weird to say this, but we just don’t really give a shit what Jon Stewart says anymore. We get enough both-sides garbage from the NYT. More: CNN

Note 18: Adam used our new Substack to go after Marine Le Pen. And later today we’ve got an interview with Father Time. More: TBS on Substack

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the U.S. Senate yesterday where Nancy Maldonado, a former civil rights attorney, was confirmed to the Seventh Circuit, becoming the first Latina judge to sit on that circuit. Congratulations to Judge Maldonado and thanks to President Biden for making the judiciary way better than Trump did. More: AFJ

Note 20: And on that awesome note, let’s go do some news! Thank you to everyone who helped us get started at our new home yesterday. We’ve still got a long way to go before we can save this newsletter so we can save this country, so let’s keep it up. Love y’all! 

Not buying it
Yesterday Republicans adopted and unveiled their so-called platform ahead of next week’s convention. You won’t be surprised to hear it’s mostly bullshit. Except the parts about mass deportations. They’re dead serious about that horror show. But they also wanted some of that moderate new-tone gullible garbage from the New York Times so they stripped a national abortion ban. But here’s the rub — this ain’t their real platform. Their real platform is Project 2025 and whatever the orange gameshow host tells them to believe. So while beltway journos fell for this, we all know better. More: NPR

Check this out
Yesterday we saw something online that blew our minds. And no it wasn’t that video of the monkey peeing in its own mouth. Something called the Economic Innovation Group did a study about the economies of “left-behind counties” in America, and what they found is that Joe Biden’s policies mean those counties ain’t so left behind anymore. This is from the intro — “left-behind counties in the United States have just experienced their strongest three-year period of job creation and business growth since the turn of the 21st century.” Our media isn’t going to share important stuff like this, so we have to. This is nothing short of an economic miracle and a beautiful American comeback story. Spread the word, y’all. More: EIG

Thanks, Doc
With the news media running wild and irresponsible with their speculation about President Biden having Parkinson’s, last night the White House released a letter from Biden’s doctor explaining that the Parkinson’s expert he saw is actually a longtime White House doctor who examined Biden as part of his physical and examined lots of other people at the White House. We’re sure an apology is coming at any minute. This letter was a smart move, and we’d love to see more like this. But mostly we want to go back to talking about the dangers of Trump and Project 2025 and not Joe Biden’s age. More: Axios

Today’s clips

Sea level rise driven by human-caused climate change may have wiped out an entire species in the U.S. for the first time. More: Axios

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky criticized his Indian counterpart’s visit to Moscow as a “huge disappointment and a devastating blow to peace efforts,” on the same day that a Russian missile smashed into a children’s hospital in Kyiv. More: CNN

Restoring power to millions of Texans slammed by the deadly and destructive storm Beryl could take days or even weeks, posing a dangerous scenario for residents who will not have air conditioning as sweltering heat settles over the state. More: CNN