Today’s Big Stuff 7.3.24: RFK Jr. is disgusting

It’s Wednesday. There are 125 days until the general election. Trump’s effing sentence is delayed, Biden steps up on abortion and the comeback campaign continues.

Be advised: This is a cussing newsletter. What the fuck are all the non-cussing newsletters doing these days?

Note: Sexy Patriots! How the heck are ya? Well you smell terrific, and we’re smitten. Why are we buttering you up? Because you’re hot as hell. Also because we’re gonna make this the last TBS of this week. Sorry. We need a break to catch our breath and get ready for what’s coming. We weren’t sure what to make for the last intro and we gave some serious thought to an overwrought and depressing note about how this is the last Fourth of July so party like you mean it. And then we remembered that y’all don’t come here to feel like shit. You come here for cussing, news and MAKING FUN OF DOODIE MOTHERFUCKIN’ POOLIANI!!!

Oh it feels so good. We needed it so bad. There actually is some justice in this world. It’s just served in the smallest fucking shot glass imaginable. Still, we’ll fucking take it. And so will Rudy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What a fucking loser. Like, it sucks that Trump is flushing America down the shitter. But at least he flushed Rudy first. The humiliation is unending. It’s Rudy’s hell on earth. It’s real-time punishment. He’s Sisyphus pushing a giant goddamn turd up the hill. And it couldn’t happen to a worse person. So enjoy your hell, Doodie. We hope it really sucks. Y’all have a blessed day. 

Note two: Also, Steve Bannon is in prison. So that’s two things to laugh about. Cherish them.

Note three: An actual fucking Democrat (well not really) wrote a newspaper op-ed entitled “Donald Trump is going to win. And I’m ok with that.” It’s actually a crazy coincidence. We just wrote an op-ed called “Jared Golden is a spineless treasonous chickenshit who can kiss our asses like he’s kissing Trump’s. And we’re ok with that.” NO LINK BECAUSE FUCK HIM

Note four: Democrat Lloyd Doggett also came out and called for President Biden to resign yesterday. We’re not endorsing the message, but we figured we should include it since it’s news. More: CNN

Note five: Remember yesterday when you thought there was no way you could possibly think any less of RFK Jr.? Well you were wrong. More: Watch on threads

Note six: Here’s some great news. Team Biden-Harris outraised Team Fuckhead in June. The Good People raised $127 million, and the Bad Person raised $114 million. So that’s something. More: ABC News

Note seven: Eric Hovde is a really really bad candidate. Every dang time he opens his mouth, something dumb and offensive comes out. So he’s definitely a Republican. More: Heartland Signal 

Note eight: There’s a report that Joe Manchin was gonna go on the Sunday shows and attack Biden. We’re not sure why this is news. More: Huff Post

Note nine: This is a story about CNN’s ratings being at a 30-year low. Oof. But the crazy part is the story is from Radar. We had no idea. More: Radar Online

Note 10: We realize political reporters aren’t allowed to talk about anything but a debate, but this seems pretty bad and probably worth covering… More: Threads

Note 11: Some much-needed good news in France as the two opposition parties are coming together to try and block the far right. Fingers and baguettes crossed. More: Huff Post

Note 12: Trump is slowing down his veep announcement because he doesn’t want to step on all the bad for Biden headlines. So that fucking sucks. Guess we’ll just have to wait longer to find out who he’ll try and kill. More: NBC News

Note 13: Biden blasted Republicans over their idiotic climate change denial yesterday. That’s what we’re talkin’ about. More: The Guardian

Note 14: A lot of folks were talking about and crapping all over this CNN poll. We get it. Polls are garbage. But we also think it’s cool to see VP Harris in a strong position. We’ve been believers she could do the job since Biden put her on the ticket. More: CNN

Note 15: Right-wingers are not ok. We live in a world where saying the dumbest shit imaginable makes you seem smart to some people. What a fucking moron. More: Threads

Note 16: WaPo reported yesterday that DOJ is planning to go after Trump even after Election Day. Sounds good to us. But still please hurry. More: Washington Post

Note 17: It’s really pretty crazy that the Trump-Epstein shit isn’t a story. What if we tell the press that Biden did it? More: BBC

Note 18: People who don’t love Travis Kelce and Tay Tay must not have hearts. Who doesn’t love love? More: NBC News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we were gonna wax poetic about the Fourth of July. But instead here’s a story about Ivanka having a sad. We hate her, and her misery makes us smile. More: Huff Post

Note 20: And on that incredibly petty note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a very happy Fourth of July. And we hope it’s quick and not too bad for everyone’s dogs. Love y’all! 

Goddamnit
Well the dominoes from that totally fucked up SCOTUS immunity decision are starting to fall. Yesterday the Manhattan DA and Judge Juan Merchan agreed to delay Trump’s sentencing until September to see if any of the new ruling affects the verdict in his case. It sucks so bad. He was supposed to be sentenced next week. Fuck this fucked up court. More: NBC News

Go Joe!
One thing SCOTUS didn’t totally fuck up for the time being was the case about hospitals being required to save women’s lives if an abortion is what it takes to do it. Yesterday the Biden administration seized on the kinda-sorta ruling by sending a letter to doctors’ groups telling them they have to obey the law and perform abortions to save women’s lives. This is a pretty good reminder that Joe is very different than the woman-hating asshead who ended Roe. More: Associated Press

What do we think?
The Biden campaign is working overtime to prove that Biden is up to the task, but the media onslaught and worries from a lot of Democrats are relentless. Biden is doing an interview with George Stephanopolous this weekend, and he’s got quite a bit of travel planned. Polls since the debate don’t show a ton of change, but they do show momentum shifting back to Trump. It’s ok to be worried. But we still have to do everything we can to stop those crazy fuckers on the right. More: Associated Press

Today’s clips
The White House is considering its options for a response to the Supreme Court's blockbuster ruling on immunity that handed Donald Trump a major victory, as President Joe Biden warns that an amoral future president could abuse those powers. More: NBC News

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