This is who they are

It’s Wednesday. There are 48 days until the general election. “Judge” Aileen Cannon is as corrupt as we all thought, Republicans hate IVF and MVP gets Springfield’s back.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It used a lot of it yesterday when it realized it said “months” and not “weeks” in the opening note. Goddamnit.

Note: Sexy Patriots! How the hell are you? Feeling the joy and ready to rock? Hell yeah. Us too. And that’s why we wanted to share with you this clip of Vice President Kamala Harris talking about how she won’t let the assholes steal that joy…

That’s so freaking perfect. And nice. Like really nice. It was also nice that she called Trump’s worthless ass yesterday and wished him well. Every dang day she reminds us that she is a really good darn human being who is ready for this job and ready to be a president for all Americans, and we are so grateful for her leadership and her grace. And then there’s irredeemable buckets of fetid hog shit like this human garbage…

What the effing fuck is her problem? Actually, don’t answer that. We don’t care and we ain’t got time. We will say this — If you want to mix in some cussing pissed-the-hell-off outrage into your joy from time to time, then we got you. That’s what we’re here for. So the Vice President can ignore stanky gutter poop like Huckabee Sanders and leave the cussing of the scum to us. Y’all have a blessed day. Except for Sarah Huckabee Sanders. She can eat all the shit.

Note two: Even Mitch McConnell is admitting that Republicans will get the blame if they shut down the government. But those assholes are still going for it. House Republicans are planning to vote today on the Trumpy spending bill with the dumb shit about non-Americans voting. That vote is going to fail and we will be one step closer to a shutdown. God this is all so dumb. More: The Hill

Note three: The clip in the opening note was from MVP’s interview with the National Association of Black Journalists yesterday. She flat out crushed it.

Note four: This is the latest ad from the Harris campaign, and it features incest rape survivor Hadley Duvall, who hails from the same hometown as Sam. Hadley is showing America what courage and standing up for your rights looks like.

Note five: Please refer to our offer in the first note and allow us to cuss this trash dump worm to hell and back. Dear Sen. Kennedy, please take your heinously racist Foghorn Leghorn bullshit and shove it up your ass. Then please fuck all the way off. After you watch this, you’ll agree he had that coming…

Note six: This shit with Diddy is fucking repugnant. If even some of it is true, then his ass needs to be locked up for good. More: NBC

Note seven: This story about the pager bombs in Lebanon is insane. We honestly don’t have anything smart to say about it beyond that. More: HuffPost

Note eight: We love Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear. Not only is he just an all-around good dude, but he’s also not afraid to do the right thing even though he lives in a state that has been electing Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul for what feels like 200 years. Today, Andy is signing a ban on conversion therapy. And Kentucky’s kids will be better off for it. Thank you, Andy. More: HuffPost

Note nine: Nikki Haley and Vivek Ramswamy are each getting their own shows. We’re pretty goddamn fired up to never watch either of them and eventually forget who these a-holes were. More: AP News, Variety

Note 10: Ruh-roh. Looks like a certain right-wing billionaire shit-for-brains might be in some trouble. Someone tell this space cadet it’s against the law to threaten presidents and vice presidents.

Note 11: Don Jr. and RFK Jr., the two worst fucking juniors ever, wrote an op-ed in The Hill yesterday calling for negotiations with Moscow to end the war in Ukraine. We have to admit we were surprised they signed it Treasonous Russian Dipshits. Made you look. WE AIN’T LINKING TO THAT SHIT

Note 12: There were so many good celeb posts for National Voter Registration Day. Our favorites were the Dead and Co. and Billie Eilish and Finneas endorsing MVP. More: Variety

Note 13: Because everything is nutsville crazytown these days this one has flown under the radar, but a dipshit Trump judge took a sledgehammer to the National Labor Relations Board this week. It’s a painful reminder of just how long this country is gonna have Trump stank on it. Even if it is just one term. More: New Republic

Note 14: So the guy who would take over as the Republican Senator in charge of the Senate Finance Committee said he “would try to remove that and replace it, but I can’t tell you what it would be yet.” What’s the “it” he’s referring to? Medicare being allowed to negotiate with the drug companies for lower prices. If you’re thinking “what the fuck” then you’re reacting appropriately. More: Axios

Note 15: So we weren’t gonna share this because it goes against our NEVER EVER EVER PAY ATTENTION TO THE DUMB SHIT JOE ROGAN SAYS rule, but he’s actually getting close to figuring some shit out. He’s still a dick here and seems to think the Vice President of the United States needs someone to pull her strings, but still, it was pretty surprising to hear this from an absolute meathead…

Note 16: It looks like Jalopy Doodoodoodie (JD) Vance accidentally gave away the game when it comes to his desire to roll back protections for health insurance patients with pre-existing conditions… More: MSNBC

Note 17: According to the Wall Street Journal (paywall), Vance had a staffer call the city manager to find out if the pet-eating bullshit was true. The city manager told them it wasn’t. They lied anyway. When the WSJ asked for proof, the campaign sent them a police report from a woman missing a cat. The reporter went to the neighbor’s house, discovered that the cat had been found in the woman’s basement and that she had apologized to the Haitian neighbors. Maybe Vance’s lying ass should do the same.

Note 18: Some really great news to share as drug overdoses are down at least 10 percent nationwide. This is big, y’all. Anyone who has gone through or seen a family member go through a battle with addiction can appreciate just how welcome this news really is. More: NPR

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, halle-freaking-lujah the Fed is finally cutting interest rates today. A cut should help keep this economy rocking. It’s about fucking time, Jerome! More: CNN

Note 20: And on that overdue note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a banger of a week. And we’re glad you come to us for some righteous profanity. Love y’all!

Here comes the “judge”

You’re not gonna believe this but Trump favorite “Judge” Aileen Cannon is corrupt. Ok fine so you do believe it and have for a while. Well we got more proof in that direction yesterday, even though we sure as shit didn’t need it. According to ProPublica, the “judge” took a trip to a right-wing law conference and didn’t report it like she was supposed to. That might not seem like a huge deal, but it is when you’re also the person who gave a very clear and obvious national security pass a free pass to do whatever the fuck he wants with our nation’s classified documents.

More: ProPublica

This is who they are

Republicans keep saying they support IVF. So why the hell do they keep voting against it? Yesterday Chuck Schumer gave the Senate GOP a chance to put their money where their gross mouths are and actually vote to protect IVF. This was the second time Schumer gave them that chance, and for the second time, they voted it down. Jangly Dinguslobes (JD) Vance couldn’t even be bothered to show up for the vote. Must’ve been a sale at Bob’s Discount Furniture. You know. Because he has sex with couches.

More: NBC

Thank you, MVP!

While Trump and Vance have been waging a terror campaign against Springfield, Ohio that has led to KKK fliers, bomb threats, evacuations and cancellations and a goddamn Proud Boys march, Vice President Kamala Harris got Springfield’s back yesterday. While appearing at the NABJ, Harris said the threats against the city are a “cyring shame — literally.” She talked about little school kids who were excited for Picture Day only to have it canceled because of a bomb threat. She talked about how men who incite lunatics and monsters should not be allowed to have a microphone to do something. And she once again reminded us just how damn proud we are to be supporting her for president.

More: NBC

Today’s clips

Russian government-linked efforts to interfere in the upcoming U.S. presidential election have increasingly shifted to target the presidential campaign of Vice President Kamala Harris, Microsoft reported in findings published Tuesday. More: Politico

Voters in the key battleground of Pennsylvania may notice their ballots look different this year, as the state prepares to deploy a new design in the general election for the first time this year that aims to reduce the number of rejected votes. More: NBC