There’s something happening here

Happy Friday. There are 620 days until the midterm elections. The FBI goes KGB, goodbye to the post office and town hall temps are rising.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Because effed up just doesn’t seem to cover it.

Note: Hey, Sexy Patriots! We don’t want to alarm you, but, um, we’re gonna. Don’t look now, but there is a ketamine-addled lunatic waving around a chainsaw and destroying the federal government all while elevating nazis and trolls. Oh and he called the commander of the International Space Station the r-word…

What an asshole. What a sad, weird, irredeemable asshole. Our point in writing this is to tell you THIS SHIT AIN’T FUCKING NORMAL!!! For reasons we don’t really understand — or reasons we understand all too well — the mainstream media is just missing the moment here and failing to employ the appropriate amount of hysteria over the endless dorky dickish chainsaw-wielding stupidity that has been unleashed upon us. So allow us to do their jobs and say again THIS SHIT AIN’T FUCKING NORMAL! THAT DUDE IS DRUGGED OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND AND WAVING AROUND A FUCKING CHAINSAW WHILE HE’S FUCKING OVER MILITARY VETERAN PARK RANGERS!

We thought that last part was important to add. But seriously, this shit ain’t fucking normal and it’s on all of us to keep speaking out making sure it never is. Y’all have a blessed day. More: NBC News

Note two: We wanted to save this for the Happy Ending, but congratulations to Canada for beating Trump’s USA hockey team in a thrilling overtime win last night. And props to Trudeau for declaring that we can’t take their country or their game. Did y’all see some Canadiens were calling us the 11th Province? So when do we start being respected around the world again? More: Yahoo Sports

Note three: We didn’t notice it at the time, but the woman who sang the Canadian national anthem changed a line to make clear Canada ain’t gonna be the 51st state. More: Associated Press

Note four: That thing we said about Trump and Elon Leon fucking over military veterans is quite real. It’s also a good reminder that there has never been a Musk or Trump to wear the uniform of this country. More: CNN

Note five: Trump’s attack dog in DC is threatening members of Congress. If Garcia needs some help writing his reply, we have some suggestions.

Note six: Steve Bannon did the nazi salute at CPAC yesterday. So are we don’t pretending it was ever anything else? More: Independent

Note seven: Elon Leon’s ex was frantically trying to reach Elon Leon about a “medical crisis” involving their child yesterday, but he was too busy waving a chainsaw around and being a dorky nazi. Probably not gonna be father of the year. More: Huff Post

Note eight: Trump’s DOJ is threatening to arrest a sheriff who let a man go after completing his sentence. They’re big mad the sheriff didn’t illegally hold the dude for ICE. More: Bolts Mag

Note nine: Well this ain’t good. Some of the folks Leon fired at FAA were responsible for keeping the pilots sober. So get ready for more upside-down planes. More: Rolling Stone

Note 10: Want to see a Trump administration official get booed to hell and back? This shit never happened to Mayor Pete.

Note 11: If you’re looking for a good movie to distract you from the horror, check out Sly Lives on Hulu. It’s a documentary about Sly and the Family Stone directed by Questlove and it is wonderful. Not as good as the Oscar-winning Summer of Soul but still really damn good.

Note 12: U.S. consumer sentiment is plunging. We can’t figure out why other than nobody can get eggs and the president is a fucking moron who is firing thousands of Americans and doesn’t understand how tariffs work. More: CNN

Note 13: Hey, Delaware Democrats, what the fuck are you doing trying to help Elon Leon get richer?! Knock it off! More: Prospect

Note 14: John Fetterman’s staff are leaving him in droves and there are awful rumors about how he treats them. Are we sure he’s not just three Kyrsten Sinemas sitting on each other’s shoulders in a hoodie? More: NBC News

Note 15: Our new national hero just gets it.

Note 16: This is the kind of news that seems good but makes you wonder what the catch is. Anyway, the Venezuelans Trump sent to Gitmo have been moved to Honduras. Maybe the pressure is working. More: NBC News

Note 17: In the Kansas legislature, Democrats are worried their Republican colleagues are going to shoot them on the fucking House floor. More: Kansas Reflector

Note 18: The US Marshalls have deputized Elon Leon’s private security goons. So the dorky nazi now has his own secret police with federal powers. Great. More: CBS News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, people are standing up. Something is happening. America is not taking this shit lying down.

Note 20: And on that desperately needed note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all have an amazing weekend. And please remember that you’re not crazy. The dumb motherfucker with the chainsaw is. Love y’all!

Ass Patel
Is that juvenile? Sure. But we don’t care. Because the new director of the FBI is a compromised, QAnon-loving, Jan. 6-promoting charter member of the Trump cult and the fact that he is in this position is fucking terrifying. We don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say the FBI is about to become an American KGB that goes after civil rights groups and enemies of the president. And yeah the FBI has been that before and it sucked then too. Republican senators really fucked us on this one. Especially Moscow Mitch McConnell who announced he’s not running for another term and then voted for this asshole anyway. More: NBC News, Associated Press

Neither rain
Nor sleet, nor snow will stop the postal service. But a fucking idiot gameshow host is gonna try. According to numerous reports, Trump is going to try and shut down the U.S. postal service as an independent agency and move it under the Department of Commerce. Not only is this really stupid but it’s also blatantly unconstitutional. We almost want Trump to do it because it will fuck over rural Americans so badly there’s no way he wouldn’t get some blowback. And it’s pretty obvious he’s just doing this dumb shit so he can put an end to mail-in voting. The White House is denying this story, so you know it’s true. More: CNN

There’s something happening here
What it is is pretty fucking clear. In addition to the clip we showed in the Happy Ending, there is footage making the rounds last night and this morning of a heated town hall meeting for Republican Rep. Rich McCormick of Georgia’s 7th District. People are fucking pissed and they want to know why the hell their members of Congress are doing jack shit while a billionaire dork nazi fires Americans and fucks with their social security. For those who don’t remember, this is how the Tea Party started in 2009 and that led to a “shellacking” for Democrats in the 2010 midterms. Americans aren’t going to take Trump’s crap without a fight, and we are starting to see just how angry folks really are. Let’s fucking go! More: NBC News

Today’s clips

Senate Republicans on Thursday approved a $340 billion budget plan that would boost defense, border security and energy spending, kicking off the first portion of President Donald Trump’s sweeping legislative agenda. More: Huff Post

As the Trump administration moves forward with reportedly firing more than 6,000 employees at the Internal Revenue Service on Thursday, tax policy experts and Democratic lawmakers are warning most Americans to brace for the negative consequences to come — except for super rich people, who will face even less accountability for not paying their taxes. More: Huff Post

The House’s sweeping budget plan to advance President Donald Trump’s agenda could result in steep cuts to Medicaid and food stamps, putting a key group of Republicans in a politically difficult position ahead of a potential vote next week in the narrowly divided chamber. More: NBC News

The Trump administration has not fully complied with a court order pausing the freezing of foreign assistance grants and contracts, a federal judge ruled Thursday. More: NBC News

The New York Post pushed back on President Donald Trump’s quip that Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky is a “dictator” with a full front cover image of Russian President Vladimir Putin and an all-caps headline declaring: “THIS IS A DICTATOR.” More: Mediaite

Watch:

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