There are four freaking days until Election Day!
Today’s Big Stuff. November 1, 2024.
Happy Friday! There are four freaking days until Election Day! Justa Disaster (JD) Vance talks some more, the VP gets endorsed by a king and Trump wants Liz Cheney shot.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Mostly for cussing assholes and such.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, we don’t know how you’re doing on the outside, but you’re looking great on the outside. And isn’t that what matters? No? Sorry. Our brains are fucking mush at this point. We’ve got one last weekend to convince this country to not do something stupid and kill America. But we have faith. Faith in the future of America. Because of you. Because of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. And because of this awesome cussing Gen Zer…
“This shit is matters.” Well said, sir. We know everything is intense right now and the dark cloud of the unthinkable is hanging over all our joy. But there are people like this young man all over this country who feel the same way you do. They’re fighting like you are. They’re voting like you are. And they’re cussing for America like you are. We’ve got one last weekend to do the work. Let’s give it everything we’ve got. All gas; no brakes. Let’s fucking do this. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Trump supporters started wearing garbage bags. We spent like an hour on it and we don’t have a joke. How the hell do you make fun of someone so goddamn stupid they wear a garbage bag and think they’re owning someone?! More: AZ Central
Note three: Tucker Carlson said he was attacked by a demon in his sleep. Consider us Team Demon. More: Huff Post
Note four: The phrase that should have ended Trump is making a comeback on TikTok where younger voters are seeing it for the first time. Let’s hope they’re as appalled as we were and still very much are. More: Teen Vogue
Note five: Coach Walz had us cracking up yesterday…
Note six: Politico seems to think Trump is having problems with seniors in Pennsylvania. That’s probably why he keeps accusing the state (commonwealth) of cheating. More: Politico
Note seven: The head of the Milwaukee Election Commission said she expects they’ll be counting votes until early the next morning. Deep breaths, everybody. More: Fox6NOW
Note eight: Our broken and corrupt SCOTUS threw us a bone and wouldn’t let Cornel West on the ballot in Pennsylvania. Trump must be pissed. More: The Hill
Note nine: We are pretty freaking jealous of you folks in swing states. The VP is doing an event in Milwaukee with Cardi B and GloRilla and in Atlanta on Saturday she’s doing an event with 2 Chainz. More: Billboard
Note 10: The VP was asked what her late mother would tell her in these closing days…
Note 11: Hillary is hitting the trail in Florida for the VP. It’s time for all hands on deck! More: Florida Phoenix
Note 12: MAGA Mike Johnson tried to walk back his remarks about repealing Obamacare yesterday, but U.S. Sen. Mike Lee didn’t get the memo and tweeted “Kill Obamacare.” For people who lie all the time, they’re not very good at it. (We saw it on twitter and of course couldn’t find a news story about it.)
Note 13: Trump totally flipped out yesterday and accused the VP of lying when she said he wants to repeal the ACA. Does he think we don’t remember the millions of times he said those words exactly?! Actually, he probably doesn’t. More: Huff Post
Note 14: This ain’t exactly a news flash, but billionaires are ruining shit. More: Twitter
Note 15: It won’t surprise you at all to hear that Facebook is a goddamn cesspool of misinformation. We’ve never been as dedicated to anything as Mark Zuckerberg is to sucking. More: Huff Post
Note 16: Hey so why the fuck did Jeffrey Epstein know how Trump was running the White House?! Would this only be a major scandal if it was a Democrat? More: The Independent
Note 17: You have to see J.Lo endorsing VP Harris last night. Warning — it might make you cry but it totally didn’t make us cry at all.
Note 18: For today’s Happy Ending, get ready for the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen…
Note 19: And on that super cute note, let’s go do some news! Keep your heads up, Sexy Patriots! We’ve got this! We’ve got a secret weapon — You! Love y’all!
Jerkface Dongdrip (JD)
We don’t talk about him as much these days — thank goodness — but Jello Dickhead (JD) Vance hasn’t gotten any less weird. Vance did three hours with Joe Rogan yesterday and he said all kinds of messed up shit. He said he thinks the “normal gay guy” will vote for him and Trump, he said he got “red-pilled” about vaccines because the first one made him feel sick, that the Washington Post should hire some Trumpy reporters and made a fool of himself talking about women and abortion. He really is the fucking worst, and we really need to keep him far, far away from the Oval Office. More: New Republic
A King for a Queen
We know when it comes to sports that folks have strong opinions. But we freaking adore LeBron James, and we like him even more after he endorsed Kamala Harris yesterday, putting out a stirring video about Trump’s racism that even features that asshole comedian from last weekend. It’s easy to forget just how much Trump disrespected James and his fellow NBA players back when he was in the White House. But we remember. And LeBron does too. Thanks for taking a stand, King James. More: Twitter
Um…
So last night, a crazy orange man sat around with Tucker Carlson, who was attacked by a demon, and called the president of the United States a “stupid bastard,” called the VP a “sleazebag” and then said HE WANTS LIZ CHENEY TO BE SHOT IN THE FACE! It’s pretty shocking and yet not shocking that the mainstream media immediately went on clean-up duty, but we’ve put the clip below so you can judge for yourself. Trump’s closing message is threatening violence against Americans. Maybe a bunch of chickenshit reporters could give that the same attention they gave to a gaffe from a guy who isn’t even on the goddamn ballot. More: Twitter
Today’s clips
Donald Trump said Thursday vaccine conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. would be in charge of “women’s health” if the former president is reelected to the White House. More: Huff Post
Nine Republican operatives and canvassers connected to the Elon Musk-backed America PAC told NBC News that they’re worried the high-profile grassroots operation on behalf of Donald Trump’s presidential bid may hamper his chances in states decided by slim margins. More: NBC News
In addition to domestic disinformation campaigns, foreign government influence operations, overseas terrorist groups and domestic extremists are all simultaneously trying to exploit the election for their own gain, according to dozens of pages of law enforcement documents and months of reporting by NBC News. More: NBC News
 | A guest post by
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For those who don’t know (I, at 69, didn’t know till yesterday), there’s something called the “red mirage” and “blue shift”.
Republicans appear to take an early lead in almost every presidential election, because red, Republican-voting districts are smaller and their votes are counted up more quickly then huge big city Democrat-voting districts. That creates the “red mirage.” As more votes get counted throughout the night and over the next several days, that lead gets smaller and smaller, this is called the “blue shift.”
That’s right, it’s completely predictable and it occurs nearly every time. Even Fox News CEO said this to Congress.
Likewise, Democrats tend to use vote by mail more than Republicans, and many states don’t even start counting mail-in ballots until Election Day (like all-important Pennsylvania). (Thank you to Robert Reich and to NPR for this info.)
So, we need to be patient, and hope the corrupt SCOTUS doesn’t stop the counting like they did in 2000.
I’ve been saying to anyone who thinks their one little vote doesn’t matter, why would the GOP spend all this time and money trying to suppress/negate/gerrymander your vote out of existence?
BECAUSE IT F-IN’ MATTERS! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙