The Racist Birther
Happy Friday. There are 270 days until the midterm elections. Hillary gets hardcore, Trump tries a dirty deal and yes, that racist asshole is a racist.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And for good goddamn reason.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, the day was barely starting and we already had fucking steam coming out of our ears. We hate Donald Trump. Like we really really really hate that racist fucking piece of shit. And as we sat in our anger closet doing our exercises, we decided to focus on some positive stuff. For example, we don’t have to pretend like an idiot gameshow host is a smart or athletic person. We don’t have to pretend like Kid Rock is good. And we aren’t Chad.
“Who’s Chad?” you ask. Well, Chad is the dude in this video getting his ass stomped by a bunch of high school girls lol…
LOLOL!!! Goddamn that’s so hilarious. And of course his name is Chad. It’s too bad he didn’t ask us because we would have advised Chad to stay in his truck. Now he’s been arrested and everyone knows he got his ass whooped by some high school girls. Sucks to be Chad.
We know this is a dark and endless winter of fascism and fuckery. But there are silver linings. And one of them is you’re not a Chad and you’re not on the side of Chads. So congrats! Y’all have a blessed day. Except Chad. Fuck that dude.
Note two: Who’s excited for the Super Bowl? Yeah, us neither. But we are excited to watch the Bad Bunny halftime show instead of the one featuring the guy who sang about raping underage girls. Yikes. They are nothing if not consistent. More: KTLA
Note three: If you follow New Jersey politics, then you must be on the edge of your seat right now. The special election to fill Mikie Sherrill’s seat is wild! More: HuffPost
Note four: Trump is stalking little Liam and his family. It wasn’t bad enough to kidnap the little fella and stick him in a camp, but now the administration is trying to kick them out for good. We’re up against monsters. More: MPR News
Note five: People sometimes ask us how we’re able to go through all this shit and put out this newsletter every morning. We’ll never tell.
Note six: The Polish speaker of the Parliament refused to sign on to something calling for Trump to get the Nobel prize so the ambassador insulted Poland and then the U.S. cut off ties. God this shit is so embarrassing. More: NBC
Note seven: Trump is going to use the entire U.S. government to try and steal this year’s elections. And he’ll still probably lose. That’s how much he sucks. More: NBC
Note eight: It is nothing short of insane that Lindsey Vonn is skiing on a torn ACL. Sam tore his MCL in November and still can’t walk right. Vonn is not human. Glad she’s on our team. More: AP News
Note nine: Senate Democrats are so far holding the line on DHS. Good. We say shut that shit down. More: AP News
Note 10: Man, someone needs to get this lunatic to an optometrist. Stat!
Note 11: Ugh. Still no resolution in the case of Savannah Guthrie’s mom. Her parents’ first date was to a Kentucky basketball game. Savannah told Sam that years ago. This is awful. Just awful. More: HuffPost
Note 12: So who are y’all rooting for in the Winter Olympics? Not as easy a question as it used to be, is it? More: USA Today
Note 13: Here’s a timely reminder that we can elect non-assholes who are actually good people and do good things. In fact, we should do it more often.
Note 14: We already knew this, but it was still something to see Scott Bessent admit that Trump’s $10 billion lawsuit would come from our money. Good luck with that shit. More: New Republic
Note 15: Thank you so much to Rep. Jonathan Jackson for attempting an exorcism on Trump yesterday. Ok so it wasn’t quite an exorcism, but it was still powerful and righteous. More: HuffPost
Note 16: We’ve been holding off on sharing this story for a while because it’s just so goddamn upsetting. Still, you need to see it. More: Bolts Mag
Note 17: Now we’re cooking. The artists have been awakened. The protest music is coming in hot!
Note 18: It sure is weird how these Jan.. 6 dirtbags keep getting arrested. How does Antifa make these guys such idiots? More: AP News
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re getting cultured. So here’s Sir Ian McKellen bringing tears to our eyes…
Note 20: And on that stirring note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a super Super Bowl weekend. And if not, we hope you’re at least grateful to not be Chad. Love y’all!
Git ‘em, Hilldog
Jamie Comer wanted a fight with the Clintons. He probably should have just stuck with Bill. Because Hillary is not fucking around. The former Secretary of State, who testified for 13 hours without a bathroom break, is calling Comer’s bluff and telling him to let her testify in public. He is, of course, too chickenshit to do that so this is a masterful move. But our favorite part is the way House Republicans have made clear that it’s ok to subpoena former presidents and first ladies and fuck with them nonstop. We look forward to Democrats doing the same shit to the Trump family for the rest of their miserable lives.
No deal
Trump’s whole presidency is just one extortion scam after another. His latest is that he will release the funds for a massive New York-New Jersey infrastructure project if Schumer will agree to name Dulles Airport and Penn Station after Trump. We think it’s a bad idea, and Schumer should say no. Because who the hell would fly into Cankles the Smelly Rapist Airport?
More: HuffPost
Fucking racist piece of shit
This is a big day for Sen. Tim Scott. He just learned that the racist whose ass he’s been kissing for years is a racist. Yeah, overnight Trump shared a post on Truth Social depicting the Obamas as some kind of primates and it’s so fucking racist that even Tim Scott and the New York Times couldn’t ignore it. We’re not shocked that the birther who has resegregated the government is a racist. But we are shocked that there are people who are just now seeing it.
More: HuffPost
Today’s clips
A key participant in the deadly 2012 attack on the U.S. compound in Benghazi, Libya, that killed four Americans has been taken into custody and will be prosecuted in their deaths, Attorney General Pam Bondi said Friday. More: AP News
Documents obtained by The Guardian and The Associated Press undermine that testimony. Emails sent by staffers at the U.S. Embassy and the United Nations provide, for the first time, an inside look at how Kennedy’s trip came about and include contemporaneous accounts suggesting his concerns about vaccine safety motivated the visit. More: AP News
Canada and France planned to open diplomatic consulates Friday in the capital of Greenland, showing support for NATO ally Denmark and the Arctic island in the wake of U.S. efforts to secure control of the semiautonomous Danish territory. More: NBC
Two Democrats who participated in a video that urged members of the military and the intelligence community not to follow illegal orders are refusing to comply with an investigation by the Justice Department. More: NBC
No one else but you guys are reporting trump stalking of Liam Conejo Ramos family- Trump doesn’t want the mainstream media to know
So. The President of the United States of America posts the heads of Michelle and Barack Obama on an ape's body surrounded by jungle.
No words.