The Ossoff Way

It’s Monday. There are 267 days until the midterm elections. Trump attacks an Olympian, ProPublica breaks our hearts into a billion pieces and more signs of a beautiful blue wave.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it hasn’t forgotten that the president is a racist piece of shit.

Note: Oh, Sexy Patriots. Today was a tough one. We soooooo wanted to spend today’s opening note talking about Trump’s epic sharting tantrum over Bad Bunny’s brilliant halftime performance. We were even looking forward to making fun of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft for not getting his happy ending. But all that shit is gonna have to wait because we have seen the truth and the motherfucking light…

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!! Git their asses, king. The Epstein Class. That is the message. Remember in Blues Brothers when they’re in James Brown’s church and the holy light shines on Jake? Well that’s how we felt listening to that speech this weekend. And here’s the thing — it ain’t like Ossoff is waltzing to re-election. This is Georgia. Until recently it was redder than Santa’s sexiest thong. That means Ossoff is bringing the truth and the heat as a campaign strategy. Fuck caution. Fuck fear. Run hard and run right at these fuckers. This is the Ossoff way, and it’s what we are looking for from our people this year.

So thank you, Senator. For bringing some fire and showing Democrats they don’t have to be afraid. They can be fucking badasses instead. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Seriously just look at this…

Note three: Ghislaine Maxwell is being deposed by House Oversight today. She’s probably gonna plead the fifth a bunch. We know that doesn’t mean Trump is automatically guilty, but we think he probably is. More: Independent

Note four: Congress is now free to look at the unredacted Epstein files. So shit might get spicy today. More: NBC News

Note five: Did you have a Super Sunday? We freaking loved the Bad Bunny performance. Mostly because we love a good beat and we knew it was causing MAGA heads to explode into little tiny pieces…

Note six: The Epstein scandal is about to bring down a British Prime Minister. So why the fuck hasn’t it brought down even Howard Nutlick? More: Associated Press, HuffPost

Note seven: Trump flat out refused to apologize to the Obamas for his racist post last week. He also made clear the White House was lying when they said a staffer did it. So yeah, Trump is just a racist piece of shit. But you knew that. More: The Guardian

Note eight: We’ve always been fans of Rep. Rosa DeLauro. But not anymore. The House appropriator told a bunch of clergy last week that she will never vote to abolish ICE. If that’s true, then we need to vote for someone who will. More: CT Public

Note nine: Have y’all been watching the Olympics? What was your favorite part so far? It was couchboy getting booed, wasn’t it? More: USA Today

Note 10: Did everyone remember to eat their meat and ferments yesterday? If you don’t eat your meat and ferments, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat and ferments?

Note 11: This thing with Savannah Guthrie’s mom continues to be one of the most horrible things we can imagine. More: Associated Press

Note 12: Uh-oh! How bad has measles gotten? Trump officials are pleading with people to take the vaccine. Fucking idiots. More: Associated Press

Note 13: Man the economy is really going great. That’s why they sent out this doofus to tell us there are gonna be fewer jobs. We’re convinced.

Note 14: Kid Rock performed yesterday. We don’t know or care how it went. All we know is it kept him from smoking bath salts and hitting on some poor girl at a Waffle House for a couple hours, so we’ll take the win. More: AOL

Note 15: Trump is “very proud” of the economy. We would be too if we’d just made $4 billion off the presidency. More: HuffPost

Note 16: Becca Good, Renee Good’s partner, is speaking out. We all need to hear her. More: NBC News

Note 17: It’s not funny, but “suspected political message” is fucking hilarious. It’s like they don’t know what he was saying, but they were pretty sure it was bad. LOL.

Note 18: This story is wild. Either Tulsi is a spy like we all knew. Or she’s covering for a spy who’s close to Trump. Also why do they need to spy on Trump? Doesn’t he just tell them what they want to know? More: The Guardian

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going back to Bad Bunny. His beautiful message of togetherness had us about to cry. And it’s gonna be awesome when we find out today that more than 100 million people watched and Trump actually does cry. Thank you, Benito!

Note 20: And on that unifying note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a lovely weekend. Especially if you’re Jon Ossoff. But also if you’re not. Love y’all!

Trump vs. the United States
Trump is doing what he does best these days — shitting all over Americans. After several U.S. athletes competing in Milan said that they were proud to represent their country even if their country sucks right now, Trump and his maga chodes crashed out. Trump even attacked skier Hunter Hess as “ a real loser.” Sure, dude. It reminds us of how Trump attacked Megan Rapinoe during the 2018 Women’s World Cup. She told him to fuck off and then she went out and won the World Cup. We are grateful to all the athletes who have spoken up to remind the world that many of us are better than Trump. More: CNN

Goddamn
Ok so this is a really, really hard read and we totally get it if you don’t want to click on it. ProPublica went inside Dilley Concentration Camp in Texas. They spoke to the children who are being held there. This is what important journalism looks like. It’s also why we’re having a really fucking hard time rooting for anything that has an American flag on it right now. More: ProPublica

Blue wave coming
There were more special elections this weekend. And they did not go well for Republicans. Democrat Chasity Martinez in Louisiana won a special election for a statehouse seat. This was a district Trump won by 13 points. Martinez just won it by 24 points. Republicans have flipped exactly zero seats since Trump returned to office. This is why he’s trying so hard to cheat. Because Republicans are about to get wiped the eff out. More: WAFB

Democrats resoundingly defend red district in Louisiana, denying GOP its first pickup

Today’s clips
A divided federal appeals court upheld on Friday the Trump administration’s policy of placing people arrested in its immigration crackdown in mandatory detention without an opportunity to be released on bond. More: NBC News

Logan Paul said he disagreed with brother Jake Paul’s dismissive take of Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl halftime show on Sunday. More: HuffPost

Bad Bunny helped one couple tie the knot in a very special way: during his Super Bowl halftime show. More: NBC News

A federal judge on Friday temporarily blocked the Trump administration from suspending federal disbursements for the Gateway Tunnel project. More: NBC News

Washington Post publisher Will Lewis said Saturday that he’s stepping down, ending a troubled tenure three days after the newspaper said that it was laying off one-third of its staff. More: Associated Press

Several dozen protesters were arrested Saturday outside a federal building in Minneapolis, breaking up a protest marking the one-month anniversary of a Minnesota woman’s death at the hands of an immigration officer. More: Associated Press