Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it doesn’t think big tech assholes should regulate themselves.
Note: Sexy Patriots! How the hell are you? Still riding that massive high from last week? Yeah, us too. Laughing your hot asses off at the cope coming from Trump and his cult? Us too. Still have some unfinished business with these creepy fuckers? Yeah, definitely us too. While the punditry and the GOP want us to move on and find civility and room to work together, those of us with functioning brains ain’t in a big hurry to do any of that shit. And we’re really happy to see that a lot of the people we elected agree with us…
Good for you, Amy! We hope she deleted the voicemail, threw her phone in the Cuyahoga River and changed her number. But we still think Vivek is getting off too easy here. So we decided to go ahead and respond to him on Amy’s behalf. Here’s the voicemail we left him…
*Hey fucknut! Congrats on getting your soulless ass beat like a drum! How’s that loser stink treating you? Remember when everyone was laughing at you for swinging a baseball bat like an anemic child? Remember how you didn’t think it could get any worse and then you went a found a homeless woman who ran off with the human garbage who raped her child? Well we all remember. And we’ll never forget. Hell, Vivek, it will probably be in the first paragraph of your obituary someday. The whole world knows what a rotten piece of shit you are, and that will never ever change. Anyhoo, enjoy your new life as a hated pariah who’s associated with gross child rapists. And don’t forget to fuck off, eat shit and kiss our asses. And then go fuck off some more.*
That felt good. Who’s next? Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Is anyone else still waiting for all of this to sink in? We flipped fucking Texas!
Note three: Our party is understandably nervous that leadership won’t be tough enough on the Trump scum. We would like for everyone to meet and get to know Rep. Robert Garcia. More: Politico
Note four: Did anyone have a worse week last week than Trump? Yes. Elon the Anus. And we just love that for him. More: Tech Crunch
Note five: Wanna see something gorgeous? Check this out. There are front pages like this all over the country. You did this, Sexy Patriots.
Note six: Remember that Jan. 6 plaque that Mike Little Johnson hid from the public? Well it’s about to get a new spot. More: Politico
Note seven: Trump was warned his buddy was having an affair with a Chinese spy, and he didn’t do shit. In fact, Trump is still making excuses for the sonofabitch. More: AP
Note eight: Joe Biden’s book is coming out soon, and he goes hard on Trump over Jan. 6. Get his ass, Joe. More: AP
Note nine: We’re still waiting for things to be official in Mississippi, but it’s looking good. Our understanding is that this Friday is the deadline. Let’s freaking go! More: AP
Note 10: Want to see the state of the Republican Party captured in a single video? Here ya go…
Note 11: We hate Marco Rubio, but we love that he’s going all in on supporting Trump’s stupid war against Iran. More: HuffPost
Note 12: We’re gonna talk about Hegsuck in the news section, but you’ll want to read this morning’s latest about him before we do. More: MS Now
Note 13: “Dr.” Oz’s good friend, Russell Brand, was sentenced to 10 years today for rape. It really does feel like something important changed last week. More: Wmar2News
Note 14: The Pope said he is “proud to be an American” after voting. We feel you, Leo. More: AP
Note 15: This is from last week, but we just had to be sure that y’all saw Trump get asked how it feels to be a loser…
Note 16: Our idiot president spent the weekend doing idiotic things. Because this dumb shit about Dana White is way easier than actually helping the American people. More: NBC News
Note 17: It seems like only good things can happen if you put Native American women in charge. We did good last week, y’all. More: NBC News
Note 18: Saddam statues are falling everywhere! The latest? Katie Miller’s shitty podcast is no more. Hooray!!! More: The Hill
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, ladies and gentlemen, we present Mr. Barry Manilow… More: Threads
Note 20: And on that melodic note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had the most amazing weekend. Thanks for letting us take that extra day off. And Vivek Ramaswamy can go fuck himself. Love y’all!
For Pete’s Sake
This week, Thomas Massie is going to force a vote on impeaching Pete Hegseth. If that don’t work, Democrats will have to do it themselves in the new Congress. Regardless, Pete’s days at the Pentagon are coming to an end after Hakeem Jeffries said yesterday he is a “hard yes” on voting to impeach the miserable fuck. Hegseth spent last week cutting campaign-style videos and firing up his online troll army to try and save his job. He only made himself look worse. There’s a part of us that wants Massie’s vote to fail so that Democrats can do this in a way that really roughs up ol’ Petey. But as long as he gets his ass booted out, we’ll be happy
LOLoser
We don’t think much of Ross Douthat. We always figured he looks and acts the way Ben Shapiro sounds. But he actually did a good job of cornering Trump on his corruption on 60 Minutes last night. And then there was a bunch of weird shit about Trump getting into Heaven. But it was pretty funny watching Trump trying to defend making more than $2 billion since getting back into office. And it really says everything that even the buttlicks at CBS can’t ignore Trump’s corruption.
More: Deadline
Welcome Back
Mike Little Johnson and Congress are back this week as the lamest of lame ducks. And he won’t just be dealing with Massie’s resolution on Hegseth. Congress actually still has quite a few things they need to do. There is a vote on permitting reform today, the government needs to be funded in mid-December and Trump and Hegseth want more money for the Pentagon. Our advice? Vote HELL FUCKING NO on all of it and get to the new Congress that the people demanded.
More: AP
Today’s clips
Former President Joe Biden signaled he will have to scale back the tour to promote his upcoming memoir “Promise me, America,” as he continues to undergo treatment for cancer. More: NBC News
President Donald Trump conceded that his immigration policies were “too tough,” saying in an interview on CBS’ “60 Minutes” that aired Sunday that mass deportations hurt him during the midterm elections. More: NBC News
LOS ANGELES — The U.S. Department of Justice on Friday moved to dismiss its own lawsuit that sought to stop California from counting roughly 20,000 ballots it alleged went to noncitizens until their immigration status could be verified. More: NBC News
President Donald Trump and his Department of Justice are taking a combative stance toward Democrats after their election victories in the midterms, signaling intense conflict to come as lawmakers prepare aggressive investigations into the executive branch next year. More: AP
President Donald Trump on Sunday admitted that he can’t run again in 2028. More: HuffPost
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) has no plans to make things work with new White House chief of staff Stephen Miller once he assumes his post. More: HuffPost
More:
Fight ALL the fights
Back in February 2025, we were told the resistance had to be different this time…
This orange POS ain’t no “Lame Duck”. He’s a “Lame Pedo”. Don’t attack duckies like that.
Trump didn’t mean his immigration murders were too much or he wouldn’t have promoted N*zi Miller. He’s laying a trap for Jeffries and Schumer and I guarantee you they will fall right into it. If we allow those two to lead us, everything we’ve done will be for nothing. It’s not time to stop, folks. We have a few things left to tidy up and Jeffries and Schumer simply must go.