The Davos Dumba$$

It’s Tuesday. There are 287 days until the midterm elections. A leaker in the White House, the Catholic Church takes on Orange Satan and so much for being respected again.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s how we can tell you Scott Jennings is a piece of shit.

Note: Hey there, Sexy Patriots! How is this cruel and stupid winter treating you? Oh right. That’s a dumb question. We get it. It’s cold as fuck, fascism is terrorizing American cities and the president of the United States is either crazy or stupid or both (it’s both). Still, it’s hard to watch the brave people of Minnesota stand their ground and not feel like we are winning…

LOLOL!!! Oh fuck yeah. When there’s whining, we’re winning. And we are definitely winning. Or at least the brave people of Minneapolis are. You got him rattled, Minnie! Yeah, the Land of 10,000 Lakes has created another one in Donald’s Depends and we are loving it. These losers are so desperate to change the story that they’re now going after Don Lemon. We’re sure Lemon is quaking in his boots.

It might not feel like it, Sexy Patriots, but we believe the tide is slowly turning. We believe with all our hearts that Trump fucked up big time when he fucked with the American people. Some of us still have some self-respect, and we don’t take shit from gameshow host dumbshits. Especially in Minneapolis. Y’all have a blessed day. And fuck ICE.

Note two: Everyone take deep breaths while Trump is out of the country embarrassing the shit out of us in Davos. At least it will smell better here while he’s gone. More: CNBC

Note three: Russia went after civilians in Ukraine again last night. Right after Trump invited Putin to be on his bullshit Board of Peace. More: NBC News

Note four: Is Jerome Powell the only dude in D.C. who ain’t scared of Trump? Can he please loan one of his balls to Congress? More: NBC News

Note five: If you’ve ever opened this newsletter, then you know how much it uses the work of Aaron Rupar. Aaron’s work has been indispensable. Aaron lives in Minnesota, and his state is under attack. We are grateful to him for continuing to deliver the important news.

Note six: There’s an ICE piece of shit pretending to be a pastor. Protesters called his scummy ass out. Now Republicans want them all in jail. If they had just murdered a woman or trafficked some kids, the GOP would be their friends. More: Mediaite

Note seven: We have to congratulate the Indiana Hoosiers on winning the national championship. It was a helluva game, and they didn’t show Trump’s orange ass once.

Note eight: Axios reached out to a bunch of potential 2028 Democrats to ask them what their policies are on trans folks. Very few responded. Here’s what they should say in the future — GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU REPUBLICAN RAG. More: NO LINK

Note nine: Gavin Newsom can be so disappointing, but we sure love to see him in Davos talking loads and loads of shit. More: Independent

Note 10: Have y’all gotten your protest checks yet? Because we’re starting to get pissed off.

Note 11: What ICE did to this Hmong man in Minnesota is pure fucking evil. So much for only going after criminals, right? More: HuffPost

Note 12: Trump had to be shamed into issuing a MLK Day proclamation late last night. Remember when big time reporters just couldn’t be sure if he’s a racist or not? More: USA Today

Note 13: Thom Tillis is retiring and he’s still a gutless wuss. And what a stupid way to spell Thom.

Note 14: Scott Jennings is, in fact, a piece of shit. So are the people who keep putting him on tv. More: HuffPost

Note 15: Another ICE detainee has died at one of Trump’s concentration camps. We won’t be able to say we didn’t know. More: NBC News

Note 16: Jack Smith is testifying Thursday. So we suppose that’s when the war with Denmark will start. More: MSNOW

Note 17: Republicans are done pretending to care about the Epstein files. They’re also done pretending to care about his victims.

Note 18: Sean Hannity wants to give everyone in Greenland $100,000. But ask him if your student loans should be forgiven. What a fucking asshole. More: Mediaite

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to the Garden State. Today Mikie Sherrill will be sworn-in as New Jersey’s governor. We expect good things. More: Associated Press

Note 20: And on that victorious note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are hanging in there. Especially all you badass motherfuckers in Minnesota. Love y’all!

Found the leaker!
As part of his run-up to embarrassing the shit out of us on the world stage, Trump has decided to start publicly leaking text messages from other world leaders. We wish we were joking. In a late-night posting spree, Trump posted a text from Macron, in which the French president asks what the effing fuck Trump is doing with Greenland. He also released a text from the head of NATO kissing his sorry ass. The rest of the world is going to have to stand up to us. More: NBC News

God vs. Trump
Do you have any idea how fucked up you have to be to give the Catholic Church the moral high ground? But that’s exactly what has happened as the three highest-ranking clerics who lead archdioceses in the U.S. attacking Trump’s evil foreign policies. Oh and the Archbishop for military services says that U.S. troops could be conscientious objectors if we invade Greenland. So yeah, Trump’s policies are so horrible that he has officially pissed off the Vatican. More: HuffPost, The Hill

Sigh
Like we said, Trump is heading to Davos, Switzerland for a meeting of the world’s rich assholes. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is already there telling everyone to calm down and “just relax” as his boss threatens everyone and shares text messages for the world. Ostensibly, Trump is going to deliver a speech on affordable housing tomorrow, but y’all already know that he will instead talk about rigged elections, invading Greenland and a bunch of other dumb shit. America is now hated and humiliated. And it will get worse. Thanks, Trump voters. More: Associated Press

Today’s clips
Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) said his aim with a speech to the British parliament on Monday was to “calm the waters,” after the trans-Atlantic alliance was shaken by President Trump’s tariff threats as he aims to purchase Greenland and his flirtation with using military power to take control of the Arctic territory. More: The Hill

President Donald Trump promised the largest mass deportation operation in U.S. history, but achieving his goal wouldn’t have been possible without funding from the big tax and spending cuts bill passed by Republicans in Congress, and it’s fueling unprecedented immigration enforcement actions in cities like Minneapolis and beyond. More: Associated Press

A federal judge refused Monday to temporarily block the Trump administration from enforcing a new policy requiring a week’s notice before members of Congress can visit immigration detention facilities. More: Associated Press

Netflix upped its offer for Warner Brothers Discovery in a move designed to outmuscle Paramount’s hostile takeover effort by rewriting its $83 billion bid as an all-cash offer. More: Mediaite

Israeli forces began firing tear gas at Palestinian trade school in East Jerusalem Tuesday, marking their second targeting of a UN facility. More: HuffPost