Still mad

It’s Tuesday. There are 357 days until the midterm elections. Trump tells struggling Americans they’re full of it, the White House celebrates the Dem surrender and Ghislaine wants out.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Even on federal holidays.

Note: Ok, we’ve calmed down a little bit. But just a little bit. The betrayal from the Gutless Gang of Eight and Chuck Schumer is really sticking in our craw. But our initial rage has subsided a tad, and there was something from yesterday’s edition that we wanted to address.

While we were furious and writing — always a gamble of a combination — we thought of the hilarious nickname Suck Schumer. Get it? Because Chuck Schumer sucks, right? Well, it turns out there is another way to read it…

Oh dear. Well that ain’t good. We are so goddamn sorry, Sexy Patriots. Like you have no idea how sorry. We are just beside ourselves to learn that we put some truly horrendous images in your poor brains. We want to be clear — no one should suck Schumer! And anyone who might visit that website should only do so because they think Chuck Schumer sucks. Otherwise they will be very disappointed.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, we do want to emphasize again that Schumer does in fact suck. We simply don’t believe that he was just a hapless observer here. Either he lost control of his caucus or he is just straight up lying to us. Regardless, a lot of people went through hell during this shutdown for nothing, and we’re gonna be pissed off about it for a while. It’s an interesting moment. The people are rejecting Trump while the elites are still bending to his will. The elites better catch up. In the meantime, they can shove those fundraising texts up their Schumer hole. Don’t google that. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: We saw some folks in the comments section yesterday saying they were changing their party registration after this betrayal. We get it. But fuck that. It’s way easier to change leadership than it is to build a new party. This is our party. We just have to put the wimps in check. More: NBC News

Note three: Jeanne Shaheen is worse than Fetterman, and we are damn excited for her to go the fuck away after a lifetime of healthcare and salaries paid by taxpayers. We also hope her daughter loses. The Shaheens have lived off the public long enough. More: The Hill, WMUR

Note four: Not only did eight Senate Democrats sell us out and make the sacrifices of millions meaningless, but they also voted to let Republican coup-plotters line their pockets with our fucking money. Of all the shit we’re pissed off about right now, this is pretty high on the list. More: HuffPost

Note five: Bernie is absolutely right here, and Angus King is a bitch. Also, Bernie seems to permanently look like that meme these days.

Note six: MAGA is losing their shit because Christine Pelosi is running for state Senate in California. We like Christine, and we like when MAGA loses their shit. More: HuffPost

Note seven: When he wasn’t gloating, Trump celebrated the end of the shutdown by attacking air traffic controllers. Seems like a stupid move for a man who flies a lot. It’s also just an asshole thing to do to people who worked while he played golf. More: NBC News

Note eight: While Senate Democrats were bending over for Trump, he was busy pardoning all the scum from the 2020 coup attempt. He clearly wants them to do it again. More: The Guardian

Note nine: Speaking of pardons, Trump sure put a lot of violent criminals back on the street. It should probably be a bigger story that they went right back to being violent criminals. More: New Republic, NBC News

Note 10: While Dick Durbin was selling out, Trump’s stormtroopers were posing for pictures in Chicago while terrorizing the citizens.

Note 11: The rapist president is begging his corrupt SCOTUS to save him from E. Jean Carroll. Let’s hope she beats his gross ass again. More: NBC News

Note 12: There are people out there who really think they’re getting $2,000 tariff checks from Trump. They must not have used their DOGE checks to buy a fucking clue. More: CNBC

Note 13: If Sam seems a little nervous today it’s because the massive college basketball rivalry game between Kentucky and Louisville is today. Louisville sucks worse than Schumer.

Note 14: Marjorie Taylor Greene returned to form yesterday by praising Trump’s pardons of the coup scum. But alas it was too late and now even Trump is confused by her bullshit. Of course Trump is confused most of the time. More: NBC News

Note 15: We don’t usually do back-to-back social media posts, but we wanted y’all to see these together. They’re both from Fox News…

And…

Note 16: Some really great news out of Utah this morning as a judge is requiring the state to have a Democratic district. Trump and his scum really thought they could take us out of the midterms with redistricting. We’re damn proud of Democrats in the states for fighting back. Well all of them except for Maryland Senate President Bill “Bitch Boy” Ferguson. More: Associated Press

Note 17: We know y’all know this, but please for the love of all that is holy don’t sign up for some Trumpish 50-year mortgage. More: Mediaite

Note 18: Trump admitted last night he could have built around the East Wing, but he chose to demolish it. Man this guy sucks. More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re celebrating Veterans Day, or Armistice Day if you’re nasty. This video of a real president honoring our troops is the best fucking thing you’ll see today.

Note 20: And on that beautiful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are staying calmer and cooler than we are. We also hope the whole Suck Schumer thing didn’t make you throw up. Love y’all!

‘A Con Job’
After spending the weekend golfing at his South Florida Orgy Palace, Trump told Fox News that Americans struggling with high prices don’t exist and that the struggles of the country are just a Democratic “con job.” Please try to imagine how the press would cover it if a Democratic president was so out of touch with people that he simply refused to acknowledge that shit is more expensive. After all, we only had a whole fucking election about this very issue. We’re waiting impatiently for just one reporter to ask Trump if he might be out of touch with the American people. More: HuffPost

‘Losers’ and ‘pussies’
According to Medhi Hassan’s Zeteo, those are the words ecstatic White House officials are using to describe Senate Democrats after they caved to Trump over the weekend. Yes, it is very embarrassing for all of us. Trump even went on Fox News to brag that he and his party “broke” Schumer. Well we’ve got news for them — Schumer was broken long before this. Aside from the war on Obamacare and its users, the worst part here is that we know — and Trump knows — that elected Democrats will always surrender to him. That’s why we have to vote out the wimps and make them regret taking us for granted. More: HuffPost

Isn’t this a scandal?
Ghislaine Maxwell is living the good life in her new prison, and she’s angling for a commutation from her buddy Trump. Maxwell is also a convicted and unrepentant child rapist and trafficker. So what the fuck are we doing here? Why isn’t this a major fucking scandal? He’s already pardoned child predators and sex creeps, and now he and his party are working their asses off to protect the Epstein list and Epstein’s accomplice. Seems like a pretty huge fucking deal to us. Thank you to the House Democrats who aren’t letting this go. More: NBC News

Today’s clips
Top diplomats from the Group of Seven industrialized democracies are converging on southern Ontario as tensions rise between the U.S. and traditional allies like Canada over defense spending, trade and uncertainty over President Donald Trump’s ceasefire plan in Gaza and efforts to end the Russia-Ukraine war. More: Associated Press

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) said Monday that Dominion Voting Systems ― yes, the same company that Donald Trump and conservatives falsely accused of stealing votes from him in 2020 ― could potentially cheat against Democrats in the 2026 midterms. More: HuffPost

President Donald Trump is confident that he drew the right battle lines when he launched a nationwide redistricting fight to try to preserve the Republican House majority, GOP strategists familiar with the White House’s thinking say — even after last Tuesday’s election results gave Democrats openings to counterstrike in California and Virginia. More: NBC News

President Donald Trump revealed his long-promised health care plan in a Fox News interview, and said “Call it Trumpcare. Call it whatever you want! Anything but Obamacare!” More: Mediaite

Sally Kirkland, a one-time model who became a regular on stage, film and TV, best known for sharing the screen with Paul Newman and Robert Redford in “The Sting” and her Oscar-nominated title role in the 1987 movie “Anna,” has died. She was 84. More: HuffPost