Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it’s damn proud of the protesters who use it to Trump’s fugly face.
Note: We’re sure you’ve noticed by now, that our dear Sam has quite a few colorful phrases he picked up as a boy in Kentucky. It was from Sam that we learned Nancy Mace is crazier than a shithouse rat. Of course, we talked to the rat, and he vigorously denied any connection to Mace. But one expression that’s been on our minds a lot lately is “shit-eating grin.” We think it’s because of this fucknut…
What the fuck are you grinning at, happy? Every damn day, they trot out Baghdad Boobs to tell us that the economy is great, everyone is actually happy and the only people complaining about everything being expensive is fuck are Democrats. And he does it all with that shit-eating grin. But this is the first time we’ve ever used the expression when we think it might be literally true. Doesn’t he just have that look? Something is off with that boy. We can’t put our fingers on it, but he ain’t right. Definitely got the look of a poop-eater. No question that he eats his boogers.
We know you don’t need any extra motivation to keep busting your hot asses to turn out the vote and win some elections. But wouldn’t it be nice to wipe that shit-eating grin off that dude’s shit-eating face? Keep smiling, asshole. We’ll see you in a week. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Yesterday an appeals court ruled 2-1 that Trump and his thugs should quit fucking with California’s elections. But they used legal jargon to say it. More: The Hill
Note three: Still, we know that shithead is going to try and cheat. He’s already claiming fraud in Minnesota. But his lyin’ ass also says he won there three times. Sure you did, champ. More: The Hill
Note four: We’re gonna give Israel the same advice we give y’all — vote and vote against the assholes. More: AP
Note five: We wanted to save this for the Happy Ending, but it’s just too goddamn good. You can tell this one really got to ol’ boy…
Note six: While a bunch of right-wing assholes, including Trump, were claiming yesterday that the Brazilian election was rigged, Little Bolsonaro has already given up. Suck it, whiners. More: Salon
Note seven: Judge Reyes has issued an injunction to stop Trump from bulldozing a public golf course in D.C. This will free him up to focus on healthcare and gas prices. LOL. More: NBC News
Note eight: Trump went to Mississippi yesterday because things are going that great for the Republican Party. But the interesting part to us was seeing Democratic candidate Scott Colom show up to talk to people waiting in line to get in. Brilliant and ballsy, dude.
Note nine: Trump says he’s offering $1 million for information about voter fraud. Ok. We saw an orange fuckhead try to steal an election and attack the Capitol. Please send us our million bucks now. More: NBC News
Note 10: Trump’s people are still fucking with the guy who helped get him elected in the first place. Probably because they just lost to his daughter. More: AP, ABC News
Note 11: Trump really wanted to hit back on Obama yesterday but he was too mad to do it well. LOL. This Harry Enten revelation might be why. More: HuffPost
Note 12: Like everything else, Halloween is more expensive because of the not-so-great pumpkin.
Note 13: Are y’all watching the WNBA finals? Shit is intense! We’re rooting for the Dream, but Golden State might be too tough. More: ESPN
Note 14: Politico had three reporters do a cheap hit piece of Mamdani playing basketball at a police gym. We hope all three reporters’ genitals fall off. NO GODDAMN LINK
Note 15: Y’all see this story about the cops getting called on a 3-year-old Black kid because he was dominating a rec soccer field? Are we great again or what? More: HuffPost
Note 16: We can’t make ourselves get our hopes up in South Carolina, but we still love to see Republicans turning on the Graham fam…
Note 17: If there’s one thing we’ve learned in the Trump years, it’s that libertarians are as full of shit as evangelical Christians and Republican Cold Warriors. Still, we don’t mind them helping us win some elections. More: AP
Note 18: We’re sending love to all our Trekkies after the loss of Walter Koenig, the original Chekov. Safe travels, sir. More: AP
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going to Ohio, where even Vivek’s former teachers are disgusted by him…
Note 20: And on that educational note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a great week so far. Unless you’re that Kevin asshole. In which case, well, you know what he can do. Love y’all!
RFKKK
We all know that RFK Jr. is a mentally ill psycho who is doing everything in his power to destroy what’s left of his dad’s legacy. But to see him be this racist is still pretty shocking. Maybe we shouldn’t expect so much of a guy who desecrates animal corpses, but this is fucking appalling. The anti-Muslim hate we’re seeing from Republicans (and sadly some Democrats) has our blood boiling. Fuck this racist fuck…
More: bsky.app
The Epstein Storm is Coming
We put this story in the clips yesterday because we didn’t see it until we were almost done writing, but it’s a HOLY SHIT story that includes a new allegation of rape against Trump. While the big newspapers are pretending this is no big deal, House Democrats released a 50-page report yesterday that details Trump and his cronies’ efforts to hide the full Epstein files. There is so much new info here, and it’s all very disturbing. Todd Blanche literally cut off Ghislaine Maxwell when she was going to talk about Jane Doe and told her not to talk about “indivduals.” But the most upsetting is that Beatrice Keul, a former Miss Switzerland, told the committee that Trump violently raped her, leaving her bruised and bleeding. Rep. Jamie Raskin is calling on DOJ to appoint a special counsel to investigate Trump and Epstein. When that doesn’t happen, we’re gonna need our people to have gavels and subpoena power to go after this fucker.
More: TIME
Ass, Gas or Grass
That doesn’t really fit, but we always got a kick out of that old bumper sticker. And we’re really hoping we can fill up our cars with grass and ass because Trump has made gas too fucking expensive. In fact, Americans have now paid more to fill up their cars than they did under Biden. And Biden had four years to get to that mark. According to AAA, an average gallon of gasoline under Biden was $3.471. Under Trump, it’s now up to $3.472. Dipshit loves to tell us that gas was more expensive under Biden than it is now. And now it’s just another goddamn lie.
More: HuffPost
Today’s clips
BEVERLY HILLS–Federal authorities raided a California mansion related to an investigation into disgraced former Rep. Eric Swalwell, D-Calif., on Tuesday morning, Fox News has learned. More: Fox News
BUNIA, Congo (AP) — The fast-moving Ebola outbreak in Congo has reached 10,000 confirmed cases, government data showed Tuesday, as health authorities race to slow the spread of the disease in multiple African countries. More: AP
The Milwaukee Brewers are one victory from their first World Series title after routing the Tampa Bay Rays 10-1 on Monday night thanks to a trio of young players who have shined in October. More: AP
Microsoft has offered 60,000 employees, or about 27% of its global workforce, voluntary buyouts as the software giant spends heavily on artificial intelligence. More: AP
BALTIMORE — Maryland Gov. Wes Moore is expected to cruise to re-election on Nov. 3. But he’s sweating the campaign, nonetheless.
Moore’s political prowess is being tested at home beyond his own race for a second term, as Maryland voters prepare to take sides on a ballot question that would allow state Democratic leaders to redraw congressional district lines in a way that favors the party even more than the current 7-1 map. More: NBC News
Police and the El Paso, Texas, branch of the NAACP are condemning a group of people, possibly including youths, who were shown wearing Ku Klux Klan-style white robes and hoods in viral social media videos. More: NBC News
I think you nailed it again. I'm sick today so I can't make my brain work with the amount of venom I would like. They are all crazy and need to be impeached and removed.
Kev looks for all the world like a televangelist. Can I get an "amen"?