Sherbert Hoover

Happy Friday. There are 88 days until the midterm elections. Todd Blanche might be in trouble, the Trump economy is trash and Democrats roll… in Tennessee.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it didn’t take all the jobs.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! Congrats on making it to the weekend! We have much to discuss today, but we wanted to start with a very special farewell. Tennessee’s version of George Santos got his lying, bigoted ass kicked from the Cumberland River to Vandy yesterday and it was delicious. If you never heard of Andy Ogles, then you are lucky. Because he is a real piece of shit…

That’s not even the worst thing about him! He’s a pathological liar, a con-man, an anti-Muslim bigot, and he’s the kind of Republican who is so anti-LGBTQ+ that he is obviously working every rest stop glory hole from Memphis to Chattanooga. All of that is probably why Trump endorsed him. And he still lost his primary last night. LOL. Even for Trump’s Republican Party, this motherfucker managed to stand out for being extra awful. Imagine being too bigoted and too full of shit for Tennessee Republicans.

We’ve been burned too many times before to see this as a sign that the cult is coming to an end. But it’s the end of Andy’s career and it’s an embarrassment for Trump, and that’s worth celebrating. Andy will now have plenty of free time to eat shit, kiss our asses and go fuck himself. See you in the funny pages, Andy. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: We had a really fun therapy session yesterday. If you missed it, you can get caught up here.

Note three: So, um, Eric Swalwell and Katie Miller. Yikes. Man, Washington sure is fucked up. More: Sources Say

Note four: Rep. Dan Crenshaw says we should all shut the fuck up about high food prices and just eat ramen. We have some ideas for what Dan can eat. More: HuffPost

Note five: The charges against Davey Hearn were officially dismissed yesterday. We hope he sues the U.S. government to the point that it’s renamed the Davey Hearn Reflecting Pool.

Note six: Trump is back on his bullshit talking about running in 2028. With his approval numbers, we would actually fucking love that. More: HuffPost

Note seven: Trump and Stephen Miller spent yesterday defying the Supreme Court. They must like losing. More: NBC News

Note eight: Even the GOP wants Max Miller to resign. Well, most of them. Trump is still on board because he loves men who abuse women. More: NBC News

Note nine: Wait. There’s a fashion brand called “Fecal Matter?” We’re all gonna die. More: AP

Note 10: We’ll talk about Trump’s horrendous jobs numbers in the news section, but we wanted y’all to see the most ridiculous cope we’ve ever seen…

Note 11: This story is hilarious. A Trump aide wants to go to China, and China don’t want him there. More: Politico

Note 12: A press release said that Mitch McConnell left rehab and is now at home. Until his turtle ass tells us that himself, we’ll keep assuming he’s deader than disco. More: AP

Note 13: It’s great to see that Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowksi are still grossing everyone the fuck out. More: TMZ

Note 14: Remember when Trump let a drugged out South African take a chainsaw to our government to save us money? Well it turns out that was bullshit. Yeah, we’re shocked too. More: CNBC

Note 15: In a world of Sophie Cunninghams, be a Gabby Williams…

Note 16: Laura Ingraham seems to have a little crush on Abdul El-Sayed. We get it. Dude is a hottie. More: HuffPost

Note 17: Trump is lashing out at Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore again. What fucking year is it? More: HuffPost

Note 18: LOL! ICE is saying its policy is to only release body cam footage when it’s in the best interest of the agency. We would like to be there when they explain this policy to a judge. More: NBC News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going back up to Michigan. This photo is a model for all of us to come together and defeat fascism. It’s also a good reminder that hugs feel good and we should all do it more.

Note 20: And on that heartwarming note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have the most amazing weekend. Unless you’re Andy Ogles. Then you can fuck all the way off. Love y’all!

Lisa Lisa!

Props to anyone who remembers that old Pauly Shore song. We’re singing it today to celebrate Lisa Murkowski’s announcement that she will vote against Todd Blanche for AG. That means the vote comes down to Bill Cassidy. So fuck. With Fetterman shockingly voting against, Cassidy is the make or break vote for Blanche. But honestly, after Cassidy sold out his own life’s work to confirm RFK Jr., we don’t have high hopes that he has suddenly found a conscience or a spine. Still, we can hope.

More: NBC News

Golden (Showers) Age

Trump doesn’t understand why his approval numbers on the economy are so bad. Probably because his economy sucks. We got a new jobs report this morning, and holy shit is this thing a disaster. We lost 23,000 jobs last month and wage growth dropped. And it gets worse. The previous months were all revised down. Trump took the economy that Biden turned around after COVID and completely fucked it up with tariffs and a stupid war. And we’re all paying for it.

More: CNBC

Rolling

We already told you about Andy Ogles going down in flames, but Democrats won elsewhere in Tennessee last night. And we were excited to see that Justin Pearson won his primary. Last night, Democrats flipped the Montgomery County Commission, the Knox County school board and a handful of other seats that were held by Republicans (h/t Tennessee Holler). We were already feeling good about the midterms, but some of these victories have us wondering just how much we can run it up. Let’s fucking go!

More: MS Now

Today’s clips

CAIRO (AP) — Yemen’s Iran-backed Houthi rebels claimed responsibility for a series of deadly attacks this week, escalating the conflict between them and Saudi-backed Yemeni forces and raising fears of a wider regional conflagration.

The attacks have killed dozens of civilians and troops and also targeted Saudi tankers in transit from Red Sea ports through the Bab el-Mandeb Strait out to the Gulf of Aden and the rest of the world. More: AP

JACKSON, Miss. (AP) — Scott Colom is a gregarious prosecutor who grew up in Mississippi with a Republican father who campaigned for Ronald Reagan and counted political titan Thad Cochran as a friend.

That background sounds ideal for a U.S. Senate hopeful in a Deep South state run for generations by white conservatives.

Except Colom is a Democrat. And a Black man. More: AP

WASHINGTON (AP) — The labor union representing Treasury Department and Internal Revenue Service workers asked a judge Thursday to block a sweeping tax audit immunity agreement for President Donald Trump, arguing it would force career employees to choose between following a political order and abiding by the law. More: AP

An email blast from President Donald Trump on Wednesday seemingly attempted to guilt his supporters into donating money to him by claiming their “supporter status” had been “cancelled.” More: HuffPost

WASHINGTON ― President Donald Trump sued his own administration and got out of any ongoing IRS audits in an arrangement called illegal and unconstitutional by a federal judge, potentially saving the president $100 million he would otherwise have to fork over to the federal government. More: HuffPost