Reading between the Dentures: Trump, Elon, Putin, Russia, and Ukraine

Weird Donald told fangirling Elon Musk he stood up to Putin prior to Russia's invasion of Ukraine. But did he?

Convicted felon and glitch-magnet Donald Trump’s much hyped Twitter conversation with megadonor and Russian propagandist Elon Musk was an unmitigated disaster emblematic of his floundering campaign.

The elderly candidate, who is the oldest major party nominee for president in American history, struggled to pronounce basic words, slurring this barely comprehensible claim through his uncooperating dentures:

“I said to Vladimir Putin I say, ‘Don’t do it. You can’t do it, Vladimir. You do it, it’s going to be a bad day. You cannot do it.’ And I told him, things that, what I’d do. And he said, ‘No way.’ And I said, ‘Way.’ —Donald Trump

“No way!” “Way!”

Who talks like that?! According to CNN’s Caitlin Collins, “two high school girls” talk like that. Unsurprisingly, Trump’s Twitter Trainwreck made for late-night comedy gold. Here’s Stephen Colbert’s take:

Hilarity aside, let’s take a closer look at former president Trump’s claim, reading between the dentures to make sense of the verbal vomit. Portraying himself as a brave and strong boy who’s totally not a thin-skinned coward, Trump claims he stood up to Putin prior to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Did he?

IF TRUMP’S CLAIM IS TRUE:

The former president, with the disclosure of his now years-old conversation with Putin, may have just implicated himself in a major diplomatic and national security scandal. Among questions requiring investigation: Why are Americans just now learning about the conversation? To what extent did Trump’s actions/inactions harm Ukraine? Did Trump prioritize his election over national security? Will allies now hesitate to share their own intelligence?

IF TRUMP IS MAKING IT UP:

Trump lies and lies and lies. In all likelihood, no such conversation took place between Trump and Putin. Trump national security advisor John Bolton said as much to CNN’s Collins, calling it “another case of Trump making things up.” You don’t say! Even in a fictitious scenario, however, it speaks volumes that the former president gave no consideration to our allies amid all his unwarranted self-praise. A man who thinks only of himself does not deserve to be the leader of the free world.

Hillary Clinton, my former boss who warned America in 2016 of the havoc Trump would wreak upon the country, had this to say after the interview:

Good question.