People REALLY don’t like Donald Trump

Today’s Big Stuff. September 16, 2024.

It’s Monday. There are 50(!) days until the general election. Vance admits he’s a lying scumbag (sorta), Elon Musk is the scum of the earth (and other planets) and people REALLY don’t like Donald Trump. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. We have a hunch it’s going to come in handy for the next 50+ days. 

Note: Oh, Sexy Patriots, we have much to discuss today. Whether it’s Juggling Deeznuts (JD) Vance admitting they made up a lie that has led to a terror campaign against a town in his state or Trump attacking a global pop superstar or even another assassination attempt, it was a busy Sunday. Alas, our hearts just aren’t in it today because they are broken into millions of tiny pieces. Here at TBS, we love love. We are hopeless romantics, and we never stop rooting for true love. So this fucking broke us… More: Daily Mail

Goddamnit to hell. You think you know someone. Don Jr. has always seemed like such a good and loyal man except for the good and loyal part and if he and that deranged screaming idiot he was engaged to can’t make it, then what hope is there for the rest of us non-scum? Probably a lot. Because we’re not the worst fucking people in the world like Don Jr., Kim Guilfoyle and whoever the new character is on this week’s episode of Iredeemable Human Garbage. By the way, has there ever been a more perfect rich-Florida-piece-of-shit picture than that one? 

We’d say we wish them well and hope they find love, but they’d need hearts and souls for that and those twisted sonsofbitches are fresh out. So as per usual, they can just kiss our asses. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Y’all aren’t gonna believe this, but our Supreme Court is super corrupt and eager to do Trump’s bidding. Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds. More: Daily Mail

Note three: We want to warn you that this is a hard story to read. It’s about two women in Georgia who died when they couldn’t get the abortions they needed. Trump and the Republican Party killed these women. There is a lot of chaotic shit happening right now, but we can’t forget — we won’t forget — what’s at stake here. More: ProPublica

Note four: After Justa Disaster (JD) Vance absolutely crapped himself on the Sunday shows yesterday, Trump put out a Truth Social post declaring “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT.” For her part, Swift didn’t seem to mind as she was cheering on her Super Bowl winning boyfriend and not being almost assassinated. More: NPR

Note five: WE LOVE FLAVOR FLAV!

Note six: Wonder Woman Lynda Carter is asking people to NOT vote for her sister in Arizona. Carter is a superhero for important causes and for Kamala Harris so her sister is trash as far as we’re concerned. More: Huff Post

Note seven: RIP to Tito Jackson. More: People

Note eight: Welcome home, Pastor David Lin, who was held in China for 18 years until Joe Biden brought him home. More: CBS News

Note nine: One of Trump’s top campaign adviser is publicly trashing Ted Cruz’s campaign. This just proves what we always suspected — EVERYONE hates Ted Cruz. More: Yahoo News

Note 10: The Emmys were last night, and we wanted to give all the statues to Candice Bergen for this…

Note 11: HUGE congrats to A’ja Wilson, who on Sunday became the first player in WNBA history to score 1,000 points in a single season. She’s been burning it up all season. More: Associated Press

Note 12: The kids who were first graders at Sandy Hook the day America’s soul officially died are now old enough to vote. And they’re voting for the candidate who isn’t owned by the NRA. More: NBC News

Note 13: A new Selzer poll out of Iowa came out this weekend. Reporters think of this poll as the bible. And it shows Trump beating MVP in Iowa 47-43. So why is it good news? Because the same poll showed Trump beating Biden 50-32 in June. More: Des Moines Register

Note 14: This was brilliant. MVP’s campaign responded to Trump’s attack on Tay Tay by putting out a statement with the names of 28 Swift songs in it. So good. More: Variety

Note 15: This made us laugh. Also, it’s perfect.

Note 16: Last week, Joe Biden called Delaware state Sen. Sarah McBride to congratulate her on likely becoming the first trans member of Congress. We like having presidents who are good people with hearts. More: Washington Blade

Note 17: That reminds us, thanks to the AP for remembering that MVP was a trailblazer in performing gay marriages. More: Associated Press

Note 18: Jackass Dicklips (JD) Vance now says he can’t speak for Trump when asked if he would sign a national abortion ban. Of course that ain’t what he said before. More: NBC News

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, a new poll from ABC/Ipsos still shows MVP winning over Trump 52-46. The poll also said that she won the debate, so you know it’s accurate. Now please forget we told you this and go back to making calls and knocking on doors. More: ABC News

Note 20: And on that encouraging note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a great weekend. Or at least a better weekend than Trump. Too soon? Love y’all!

Vance is a fucking liar
We know that Jellybean Dognuts (JD) Vance is a weirdo scumbag who hates women and really loves couches. But now we also know he’s a goddamn liar. The Trump campaign sent Vance out to do the Sunday shows yesterday and it was a disaster. In addition to defending the lies that have led to bomb threats and more than 20 evacuations and cancellations in Springfield, Ohio, Vance accidentally admitted that he had to “create stories” to get attention on immigration. So yeah, not only are they terrorizing a midwestern American town, but they admit they’re using lies to do it. More: The Guardian

Eat shit, Elon
Elon Musk is a terrible human being. After another possible assassination attempt against Trump, Elon took to Twitter, the website he ruined, and wrote “And no one is even trying to assassinate Biden/Kamala.” The racist woman-hating freakshow with a limp pecker eventually deleted the post and suggested later that he was just joking. Let’s hope he got a visit from the FBI and while they were there they ripped up that sick asshole’s government contracts. More: The Hill

Here we go again
If it was us and people kept trying to kill us, we might wonder if we were doing something wrong. But not Trump. Yesterday the Secret Service fired on and then detained a man who was caught at Trump’s golf course with a high-powered assault rifle and a scope. The man is clearly mentally ill, as he was the only person in the world hoping for a Haley-Ramaswamy ticket. We’re not making that up. Anyway, Team Trump was very upset they didn’t get a polling bump from the last attempt, so expect them to milk this shit all the way. Trump was on Fox and Friends this morning blaming Biden and MVP for calling him a “threat to democracy.” Well, he is. Anyway, we condemn political violence. We wish Trump and his supporters would do the same. More: Associated Press

Today’s clips
Divided House Republicans stumbled last week in their effort to pass Speaker Mike Johnson’s bill to fund the government.

They’ll take another crack at a stopgap funding measure this week with just 15 days remaining until money runs out — and growing concerns about a federal government shutdown, including among top Republicans who worry about the political fallout for their party so close to the Nov. 5 election. More: NBC News

The U.S. government and TikTok will go head-to-head in federal court on Monday as oral arguments begin in a consequential legal case that will determine if — or how — a popular social media platform used by nearly half of all Americans will continue to operate in the country. More: Huff Post