Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it thinks Jon Husted’s ass is just so-so.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, you can tell we’re close to an election because things are getting super fucking ugly. And weird. Just plain weird. For example, today we’re actually thanking Susan Collins. Weird, right? We of course detest Susan and we hope she gets her concerned ass whooped in 13 days. So why are we thanking her? Because it had been a while since we told a certain “centrist” asshole to go fuck himself and we kinda missed it…
LOL. Boy Kyrsten Sinema is headed to Maine today to campaign with his fellow sell-out waste of space Susan Collins. And we are grateful for the opportunity to once again tell Manchin to fuck off, eat shit and kiss our asses. And when he’s done with all that, he can go straight to hell and fuck off there too. But let’s put our personal feelings aside for a second and really think about this. Are Maine voters supposed to be impressed by Susan flying in one of her fellow career politicians who spent years getting rich while his state got the shaft? Does she want to talk about how he lived on his yacht? Or maybe they can talk about how his daughter tried to fuck over people who needed EpiPens.
Susan wants Maine to see Manchin and remember that she’s an independent. We’re guessing Mainers can see through that bullshit and see that Manchin is a reminder of everything that is wrong about Susan and her ilk. So, Maine, please join us in telling that corrupt fuck to go eat their own shit. And then tell Manchin the same thing. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Neil Bush is backing Talarico. We don’t know who Neil Bush is but he’s apparently related to that chickenshit ex-president who spends his time painting and being a wimp. More: HuffPost
Note three: Ummm one of our congressional candidates has been detained by the IDF. Y’all know we love us some Brad Lander, so this shit needs to be fixed asap. More: NBC News
Note four: Elena Kagan is usually reluctant to criticize the right-wing shitheads on the Supreme Court. It’s one of the few things we don’t like about her. But she seems to be changing her tune, and we’re here for it. More: NBC News
Note five: LOLOLOL!!! Congrats, everyone. It looks like we won a Senate seat in North Carolina. But please still vote…
Note six: How are we feeling about the election? Well, Democrats are putting money into a U.S. Senate race in Mississippi, so we’re feeling pretty alright. More: HuffPost
Note seven: If there’s one really obvious area of corruption to investigate, it’s Trump’s selling of pardons. Because it’s obvious and corrupt as all hell. More: New York Times
Note eight: Is your state going through some shit? Well, according to Trump’s FEMA, you’re on your own. Your tax dollars are only for ballrooms and helipads. More: Politico
Note nine: It should be a much, much bigger deal that Trump and Hegseth have lied to the American people about how much damage the Iranians have done to our bases and troops. More: MS Now
Note 10: But it should also be a much, much, much bigger scandal that Trump and Hegseth killed a bunch of little girls and are hiding that fact until after the midterms.
Note 11: Trump is campaigning for Darline Graham in South Carolina today. We sure do love how much time he’s having to spend in red states with his shitty candidates. More: AP
Note 12: The DOJ Inspector General says there’s nothing to see here about the department’s war against Davey Hearn. We are so ready for him to sue the ever-loving shit out of these assholes. More: AP
Note 13: Like seriously what the fuck is going on here?
Note 14: RFK Jr.’s niece died. We don’t think he killed her, but we’re keeping an open mind. More: AP
Note 15: Trump got asked if he would endorse couch boy and couch boy was standing right there when Trump said no. LOLOL. What a loser. More: HuffPost
Note 16: The kiss-asses at the Atlantic want you to know that Don Jr. is opposed to the Iran War. We want you to know that both Junior and the Atlantic can go fuck themselves. NO GODDAMN LINK
Note 17: Susan Collins is struggling. And lying. You love to see it…
Note 18: The amazing Jamie West went on Piers Morgan’s podcast for some reason and she killed it. We’re getting 2028 vibes from her. More: HuffPost
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we couldn’t find dick, so here’s a live look at how things are going here at TheAltMedia headquarters…
Note 20: And on that relatable note, let’s go do some news. We sure hope y’all are having a great week. Unless you are Susan Collins or Joe Manchin. Because they suck butt. Love y’all!
Pathetic
Trump got a hostage freed from Russia, so of course he and his goons are fawning all over Putin in a sickening display. Watch this video and then remember that Putin literally killed a child in a stroller this week. And then vote like the whole fucking planet depends on it. Because it does.
More: bsky.app
It Was Elon
If you’re a 2028 candidate and you want our support, then please share with us your plan to federalize Elon the Anus’s companies and deport his scummy ass back to South Africa. Because he’s a fucking traitor. According to the Wall Street Journal, it was Elon who sabotaged Ukraine’s access to Starlink last weekend. If you’re wondering why some rich asshole is deciding global policy and deciding who lives and who dies, well, so are we. Everything Elon does is a reminder that no one should have that much money or that much power. And we’re gonna need a plan — and a warrior — to take that fucking weirdo on.
More: Wall Street Journal, CNBC
Fuck Vivek
So yesterday we managed to share with you the breaking news that Vivek Ramaswamy as running an ad featuring Amy Acton’s mother telling people not to vote for her. We also shared that Acton’s mother stood by the man who raped her then-12-year-old daughter, eventually abandoning her children to flee with their abuser. It is easily the most disgusting political ad we have ever seen. Sadly, we were not surprised to see Trumpers like Laura Loomer cheering it on. Despite knowing the truth about what happened, Vivek’s campaign is taking credit for the ad and planning to put $4 million behind it. Surely the people of Ohio will be disgusted by this and punish Vivek. Right?
More: bsky.app
Today’s clips
French President Emmanuel Macron on Wednesday blamed “foreign leaders,” including those “on the other side of the Atlantic,” for trying to exploit France’s tense social climate for their own political agenda. More: NBC News
TOLEDO, Ohio — Some Ohio residents have been ordered to evacuate because of the release of a chemical that can cause burning of the eyes, nose, mouth and skin, and other residents have been told to shelter in place, the city fire department said Wednesday. More: NBC News
Like so many Americans, Jenny Escolastico has watched wearily as the cost of living has risen, straining her household budget. But as a mother of two children under 5, she faces added pressure that could shape how she votes in November: childcare costs. More: AP
WASHINGTON — Beth Fuller was a contractor for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for 10 years — until last year, when the Trump administration’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency, led by trillionaire Elon Musk, abruptly terminated her contract as it haphazardly fired tens of thousands of other federal workers. More: HuffPost
A wave of texts and a letter highlighting trans resources sent out to Texas families last week have ignited a storm of mystery, confusion and conservative pushback in the state. More: HuffPost
The Anti-Defamation League was heavily criticized on social media Tuesday for its post condemning the use of “a longstanding antisemitic stereotype” that reinforces “harmful tropes about Jews,” but not mentioning who said it. More: HuffPost
You nailed it again. Trump and his minions are war criminals. It's rich that they won't endorse Couch Boy.
Please donate to Amy Acton's campaign for OH Governor! Vivek is a POS.