Merrick Garland goes half-chicken
Today’s Big Stuff. January 8, 2025.
It’s Wednesday. There are 664 days until the midterm elections. Democracy on life support in North Carolina, Merrick Garland goes half-chicken and Virginia delivers a shot of hope.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It allows us to tell Trump to eat shit on Greenland’s behalf.
Note: Hey there, Sexy Patriots! Have you seen how stupid and dumb and fucking moronic everything is? Well we’re just getting started. And by we, we mean the dumb motherfuckers who elected the dumbest motherfucker to say shit like hey it’s time to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico. And then there’s this level of dumbshittery…
Ok. We don’t know what this means, but we’ll play along. Let’s pretend for a second that our bathroom was somehow malfunctioning and orange ass-for-brains came to fix it. Here’s how it would go…
Trump: Yep, your…
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