Kamala’s cash kick-ass

Today’s Big Stuff. September 6, 2024.

Happy Friday! There are 60 days until the general election. Trump’s Arlington a-holes are revealed, MVP triples up dumbass’s dough and JD talks to a Nazi. 

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity like Trump poops himself — daily, loudly and usually without even noticing it.  

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, did you hear the news? It turns out Donald Trump Julep Dipstick (JD) Vance are totally gonna take care of childcare. Yeah, Vance said on Wednesday he was gonna just ask peoples’ grandparents to pitch in and then Trump came through with whatever the hell this is…

LOL. Got that? Don’t worry about child care because childcare is childcare and tariffs will pay for it and it’s not actually that much. Yikes. If you think that sounds like idiotic gibberish from a total dumbfuck, then you must not work for the New York Times. 

Sigh. Y’all, this newsletter has existed for more than five years, and every damn day of those five years (except weekends) we have told y’all that the press is covering for Trump by cleaning up the insane shit he says. None of this is new. This is the same dumb motherfucker who thinks we have invisible airplanes. Not just stealth BUT ACTUAL INVISIBLE AIRPLANES. LIKE WONDER WOMAN’S. Can you imagine the outrage and headlines if Joe Biden was talking about invisible fucking airplanes?! Jake Tapper would be trying (and failing) to kick down the front door of the White House and drag him out! More: MSNBC

Anyway, we’d love to hope that we’re nearing a point where even the cowards in the press can’t ignore or sanitize this stupid shit anymore, but we know better. So we’ll keep calling it out here while also losing our damn minds. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Parker Molloy had a great piece yesterday on what she’s calling “sanewashing,” which is a more eloquent way of saying what we said in the first note. More: New Republic

Note three: Just Dealwithit (JD) Vance said yesterday that school shootings are a “fact of life.” No, Jackass Dumbshit (JD), they’re not. A fact of life is the birds and the bees and that weird shit you do to couches. School shootings can be stopped if we stop electing psychos. More: Associated Press

Note four: The father of the 14-year-old who shot and killed four people at a Georgia school this week was arrested and charged in the shooting since he got the kid the damn gun. We saw this happen in Michigan too. To us, it’s both welcome and long overdue. Either lock up the guns or lock up the parents. More: CNN

Note five: So this is the funniest picture we’ve seen in forever. Rubio looks like a dang Stephen King character whose soul is turning to actual shit.

Note six: Right after we published yesterday we saw that USWMT star Alex Morgan announced her retirement from soccer and her second pregnancy. HUGE congrats to Alex on both counts, and a GIANT thank you to her for her leadership both on and off the field for women’s soccer. What a legend. More: USA Today

Note seven: We got a solid jobs report this morning for August. The economy added 142,000 jobs last month, slightly below expectations but enough to bring unemployment down to 4.2 percent and make sure we’re getting the interest rate cuts that are overdue. More: Yahoo Finance

Note eight: Judge Tanya Chutkan is not messing around. And it looks like the American people are actually gonna get a chance to hear some of the evidence Jack Smith has against Trump. Of course we watched that orange asshole attack the Capitol with our own eyes, but still, this will be edifying. More: CBS News

Note nine: Speaking of political violence, remember when that Trump scum in Texas tried to run a Biden bus off the road? Well a jury is finally deciding their fate. Fingers crossed for justice. It’s rare in Texas. More: Texas Tribune

Note 10: This is a Mark Cuban appreciation post. We normally think billionaires suck ass, but Cuban is a real one and he’s out there fighting for what’s right.

Note 11: And Cuban isn’t the only big business person backing MVP. In fact, she rolled out some endorsements this morning. More: Reuters

Note 12: She also picked up a bunch of law enforcement endorsements this morning. Rolling! More: The Hill

Note 13: How fun has it been watching the right melt down after we learned they were funded by Putin? Pretty fun, right? Well the company that was getting that Russian money is no more, and the scumbags who were taking it are all lawyering up and claiming to be useful idiots. Seems like a smart crew. More: Mother Jones

Note 14: If you can spare it, send some love and a good thought to E. Jean Carroll, whose lawyers are back in court today as Trump appeals the jury’s finding that he sexually abused and defamed her. Trump even managed to show up. Maybe now the press will ask him about being a rapist. More: CNN

Note 15: It’s just impossible to tell with some of these guys which ones are the useful idiots and which ones are just regular idiots…

Note 16: Dark Brandon has been hitting the road this week and telling folks about all the great things the Biden-Harris administration has accomplished. And again, Trump is at his rape appeal. More: WXYZ

Note 17: Hunter Biden pleaded guilty to tax charges yesterday just before jury selection was about to begin. He said he didn’t want to put his family through any more trouble. We’re sending love to that troubled fella. And the people who have gone after him can eat shit. More: NPR

Note 18: RIP to Rich Homie Quan.The talented young rapper is dead at 34.More: Variety

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to wish Chris Christie a happy birthday. Not! Can you imagine?! Fuck that guy.

Note 20: And on that deceitful note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope you had the best week ever, and we’re excited to see you tomorrow for our weekend edition. Love y’all!

Revealed
Thanks to NPR, the only news organization that has acted like a news organization when it comes to Trump’s grotesque political stunt at Arlington cemetery, we now know the identities of the two Trump aides who got into a confrontation and pushed a woman who works at the cemetery. Deputy campaign manager Justin Caporale and advance team member Michel Picard are the two campaign staffers who made a mockery of our nation’s most hallowed ground. You might remember earlier this week when Trump said there was no incident. That was a lie. Now watch the rest of the media downplay all of this. More: NPR

Just Dandy (JD)
So we know that Joker Dickbrain (JD) Vance is a weird dude who hates women and likes having sex with couches. But he also loves nazi scum. That’s why he just did an interview with Tucker Carlson who just did an interview with a neo-nazi “historian.” Yeah, Tucker’s shit is so bad that the White House called him out and even other Republicans were grossed out. Why is it so hard for these assholes to just not be friends with nazis? Also, great pick on JD, Trump. LOL! More: NYT, Jewish Insider

LFG!!!
So not only did Trump have a weak fundraising month, but MVP had a record-breaking one. She almost raised triple what he did!!!! She raised $361 million to Trump’s $130 million for the greatest grassroots fundraising effort in history. But the best part is that 1.3 million of those donors were contributing for the first time ever. This is a movement, and the press would be wise to recognize it. Let’s fucking go!!!! Politico

Today’s clips

Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz used some of his sharpest language on the campaign trail Thursday in remarks going after both former President Donald Trump and the Republican Party. More: NBC News

An American woman was shot and killed in the West Bank on Friday, two doctors told The Associated Press. More: Huff Post

Second gentleman Doug Emhoff on Thursday described former President Donald Trump’s latest racist lie about Emhoff’s wife, Vice President Kamala Harris, as simply a “distraction.” More: Huff Post