Kamala concedes

It’s Thursday. There are 725 days until the midterm elections. Merrick and Jack give up, Biden moves fast to help Ukraine and Kamala concedes.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And as long as it exists, it will use it to cuss fascist assholes to hell and back.

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, this ugly shit didn’t get any prettier with an extra day to ponder it. We’re still trying to figure out how to react. We know how we feel, but we’re not sure how to react. We were gonna write an alternate concession speech for VP Harris that included the words “fuck him with a tiki torch” and “hope he shits himself into oblivion,” but that just didn’t seem like enough today. So instead we’d like to share a story we’ve heard a few times.

We can’t remember where we heard this and we’re sorry if we’re butchering it or misremembering it, so please hang with us. There was this old hippie who would show up outside the White House every single day, rain or shine, and hold a sign that said “NO NUKES.” One of the security guards would see the man every day and finally the security guard pointed at the White House and said, “Man, why do you keep coming out here every day? You’re never going to change them!”

And the hippie responded, “I come out here so they don’t change me.”

We know it’s not profane or profound, and we know it ain’t much. But today, it’s all we got. This cussing newsletter and our anger won’t change Trump or his army of fuckheads. But we can make damn sure they don’t change us. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: We have always been big Simone Biles fans, and we think she’s onto something here…

Note three: Congratulations to Monroe Nichols, who on Tuesday was elected to become the first Black mayor of Tulsa! Change is always possible. Sometimes it just takes fucking forever. More: KTUL

Note four: President George W. Bush finally spoke up. He put out a statement congratulating Trump. So we put out a statement too. It says, “Fuck off, George.” More: Click2Houston

Note five: Some welcome surprises in the U.S. Senate as both Tammy Baldwin and Elissa Slotkin held on to win. It’s fucking terrifying how close Republicans came to a supermajority in the upper chamber. More: CNN, Guardian

Note six: Get ready for the dumbest shit imaginable…

Note seven: Only a sexist, racist country would elect someone like Trump over someone like Harris. And only a sexist, racist country would blame a Black woman for that.

Note eight: Mitch McConnell said yesterday that the Senate filibuster isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately for the rest of us, Mitch seems to be the only person who hasn’t yet realized just how irrelevant he is. More: HuffPost

Note nine: Stocks in prison companies and Teslas did great yesterday. So yeah, the future is gonna really suck for a while. More: CNN

Note 10: Nice to see some people are still in a fighting mood…

Note 11: We agree that the math doesn’t make sense. But if we’re honest about it, math has never made sense to us.

Note 12: Trump’s friends are already preparing for mass deportations. You have to wonder how many people who voted for him are gonna get the shock of their lives. More: CNN

Note 13: The brain worm asshole said the fluoride thing is real and he’s going to gut the FDA. We learned this week that America is sick. It’s about to get a whole lot sicker. More: HuffPost

Note 14: BIG news this morning as it looks like Nevada Sen. Jacky Rosen is going to hold on for a slim victory. It can still go the other way, so fingers crossed. More: News3LV

Note 15: There are still a whole lot of people ready to fight the good fight…

Note 16: America might be getting some Jewish Space Lasers. Steve Bannon wants Marjorie Taylor Greene running the Department of Homeland Security. So yeah shit is about to get real dumb and real mean. More: HuffPost

Note 17: We’re still waiting to see which way the House goes, but it doesn’t look good. More: NBC

Note 18: We’re not the first ones to say this, but you should make sure all your vaccinations are up to date before Jan. 20. Also, if you need a new TV or something like that, go ahead and buy it before tariff boy gets in office.

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we got nuthin’. So here’s the front page of a German newspaper that just went with the headline “Fuck.” We agree.

Note 20: And on that accurate note, let’s go do some news! We hope y’all are holding up ok. We understand if you’re not. Please just remember that we love you and you are not alone in what you’re feeling. Hang in there:)

Damnit

The coward Merrick Garland and Special Counsel Jack Smith are looking to wind down and end their investigations of Trump, meaning he got away with all of it. It will never cease to amaze us that Trump launched a violent coup attempt against the United States, never went to trial for it and then won another election. This country is fucking brain damaged. Anyway, thanks for being such a wimp, Merrick.

More: CBS

Hurry!

The Biden administration is hustling to get the last of the $6 billion American aid package to Ukraine before Putin takes office in the U.S. and we sell out Ukraine to make him happy. We don’t know how long Ukraine can hold out without our support, but it can’t be long. Let’s hope Europe continues to stand up for freedom.

More: Politico

Thank you

We’re already seeing a lot of people blaming Kamala Harris or Tim Walz or whatever for the loss. Y’all, this is just who America is right now. That’s why we were proud and emotional watching VP Harris concede gracefully from Howard University yesterday. We thought the core message was right on, and we aren’t planning to concede the fight either. We are of the belief that Harris ran a damn near perfect campaign in just more than 100 days. Americans just didn’t care.

Today’s clips

The most lasting impact of this GOP sweep will arguably be felt on the courts. For at least two of the next four years, Trump can appoint dozens of far-right conservatives to lifetime federal judgeships all over the country, knowing that Senate Republicans will rubber-stamp virtually all of his picks. That’s exactly what they did in his first term. More: HuffPost

Because of those inconsistencies, policy experts said, there’s no clear road map for the future of abortion in a second Trump administration — though they offered some theories. More: NBC