Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it would never tell you you’re going to hell if you don’t vote. You’re going to hell because you touch yourself.
Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, it’s a solemn day at the end of another suck-ass week. We have much to discuss today and we are eager to get to it and cuss out JD Vance. But first, we have to ask. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????
Even for these freaks, that is some weird shit. Did God help Trump kill all those little Iranian girls? Did God make Trump cover up the Epstein files? Did God make Trump line his pockets with dirty crypto money for the last two years? We don’t know the answers to these questions, so we thought we’d ask her. Here now is an interview with our old friend God…
Us: Hey God!
God: Hey boys! Loving the newsletter. The rat dicks on the Supreme Court thing was hilarious.
Us: Awww. Thanks, God. So have you seen this creepy video?
God: Yeah, what the fuck is that shit? This is why so many people hate me.
Us: Well this and all the pain and suffering and shit.
God: Don’t start with me. I’m way too creeped out over that video.
Us: So you didn’t send us Trump?
God: No. It was the other guy. That’s why he always smells like Sulphur. And shit. Lots and lots of shit.
Us: Ok well have a great weekend, God.
We always enjoy checking in with her. It’s like going to church but with way more cussing and we still get our Sundays free. Anyway, we have got to beat this weird ass fucking cult. So let’s keep our heads down and make it happen. Y’all have a blessed day.
Note two: Hey so some asshole at the Republican convention called for Democratic candidates to be shot. We’re assuming it wasn’t a centrist Democrat, and we’re wondering where the hell the goddamn civility police are. Or is this thing only a story when some lefty does it? More: HuffPost
Note three: Diesel has hit a new record of more than $6 a gallon. This is why those fucking assholes can’t stop talking about our Muslim and trans friends. Well that and because they’re bigoted shitheads. More: NBC News
Note four: LOLOL!!! The first night of Trump’s pedo-fest drew fewer viewers than Hannity’s fucking show. Yikes. Dude has lost the juice. More: HuffPost
Note five: Man, Zohran Mamdani has way too much class and grace for these dirtbags. He’s so good at rising above the bullshit and the evil. We hope he washed his hands after this.
Note six: Trump has officially set the Middle East on fire and we haven’t begun to see just how much damage this kicked hornets’ nest can do. More: AP, AP
Note seven: Shana Tova to all our Jewish friends! We hope y’all have a happy and peaceful new year!
Note eight: Last night at the scumbag convention, the law and order party had a pardoned heroin and meth dealer speak. The Silk Road guy actually spoke at their convention. Our only surprise is that no human traffickers took the stage. WE CAN’T FIND A LINK BECAUSE THE MEDIA SUCKS BUT THIS WOULD BE A HUGE STORY IF OBAMA/BIDEN DID IT
Note nine: Trump lost his shit on another woman reporter last night. None of the other reporters said dick. Wimps. More: HuffPost
Note 10: The MSM won’t say it so we will. This dumb motherfucker has lost his marbles and his supporters are in a goddamn cult…
Note 11: Mr. Libertarian Rand Paul travels by private jet because nobody is more full of shit than a Libertarian. Except for maybe a Republican evangelical Christian. More: Politico
Note 12: We finally got some clarity over the madness in Missouri and that clarity comes with another Democratic House seat. Hell yeah. More: NBC News
Note 13: Everyone say hello to the new leader of the free world…
Note 14: Maria Bartiromo has broken her silence. But it was nice while it lasted. More: HuffPost
Note 15: We are not people who believe that Trump is funny. But we have to admit that his nonstop attacks on Ken Paxton’s looks have made us laugh very, very hard. More: The Daily Beast
Note 16: Trump’s revenge fantasies might be falling apart. One of his most loyal and unhinged henchmen called it quits yesterday. You know it’s bad when he’s too crazy for the shithouse rats. More: AP
Note 17: SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH BIG BOY’S BOOTY?
Note 18: The second indicator this week says that inflation is getting worse. But at least we’re getting a goddamn ballroom. More: NBC News
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re gonna do something we never do and delight in the misery of a suffering Trump voter. We were all set to feel sorry for this asshole right up until he said he’d be fine if Iran nuked NYC. Anyone wanna bet that shit-for-brains here is pretending to be big sad about 9/11 today? Anyway, fuck him. More: Twitter
Note 20: And on that petty note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have an amazing weekend and don’t join any fucked up cults. Love y’all!
Go Fuck a Couch
JD Vance tried and failed to be charming at the GOP convention in Texas last night. Instead he reminded everyone that he’s a smarmy asshole and a bigot to boot. When he wasn’t yelling at planted protesters and trying to look tough, he was saying shit like this and reminding us all that he’s not just a creep; he’s also a racist piece of shit…
More: bsky.app
Black and White and Read All Over
It wasn’t a big headline yesterday, but only because the people who write headlines got fired. Yesterday the newspaper giant McClatchy, which was bought by a scummy hedge fund a few years ago, announced company-wide layoffs that will cripple if not destroy some of the nation’s biggest papers. The Miami Herald, The Lexington Herald-Leader and the Sacramento Bee were among those hardest hit. The Kansas City Star is where Hemingway started out. The HL is Sam’s old paper, and it’s hard to describe how bad this is. We’re talking about major cities that won’t have a newspaper reporter covering City Hall. And we wonder how America got so dumb and self-destructive.
More: Poynter
25 Years Later
This morning, all the living presidents except one went to New York City to commemorate and remember those who died on Sept. 11, 2001. Trump and Melania (or someone who looks like her) went to the Pentagon. It’s damn hard to think about that day and then look at where we are 25 years later. There’s no question those attacks profoundly changed who we are as a people and not in a good way. But today we’re focusing on the heroes and the victims. We’ll go back to worrying about the politicians tomorrow. Where were you on that horrible day? How did it change you?
Today’s clips
KYIV, Ukraine (AP) — More than half a million Russian troops have been killed in Ukraine since the start of Moscow’s full-scale invasion in February 2022, a senior British defense official said Friday. More: AP
Anthropic said Thursday it has blocked efforts by bad actors to use its artificial intelligence models for malicious activity such as cyberattacks, surveillance, and research that could have led to biological weapons. More: AP
Elon Musk apparently hasn’t yet seen Alex Gibney’s *Musk*documentary, but he sure doesn’t like what he’s hearing.
The nearly four-hour film created quite a stir after premiering Tuesday at the Venice Film Festival, where it received a five-minute standing ovation. More: Holywood Reporter
America has been at war with Iran for more than six months — but it was far from a top issue at the Republican midterm convention in Dallas this week. More: NBC News
For 20 years, a right-wing think tank has been quietly collecting information on thousands of Muslim individuals and organizations in a vast database. More: HuffPost
I think you nailed it again. I'm so tired of this administration that it literally makes me Ill.
Thanks for the update. Hopefully these jokers will get voted out in the midterms. It
Regarding Trumper Pacillo's comment - "we don't need New York anyway?" : What a cruel and insensitive comment to make, especially in the week of 9/11.