Juneteenth Edition

It’s Thursday. There are 502 days until the midterm elections. The pro-lifers want to kill a bunch of kids, Jerome gets real and a word about Juneteenth in Trumpland.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s the only way we can talk about that idiot and his fucking flagpoles.

Note: Oh, Sexy Patriots, this is a fun one. Our favorite couch-fucking, ass-kissing bitch-weasel vice president joined Bluesky yesterday. He did it so he could troll decent people over the Supreme Court’s cruel and shitty anti-trans decision yesterday. So why is that fun? Because it further reveals what a pathetic fucking loser this guy is.

We are on the precipice of yet another goddamn war in the Middle East and Justa Totaldickhead (JD) Vance is pulling his pud and playing on his phone trying to piss us off? Ha! Someone should tell Jansport Dumpbreath (JD) we’re already pissed off. We get that he thought he would get our goats and upset us, but we really just feel sorry for him. Well not really because he’s a total piece of shit, but still, this is embarrassing behavior for the Vice President of the United States. Hell it’s embarrassing behavior for any adult, but doesn’t this weird motherfucker have a job? And how stupid does a person have to be to get kicked out of THIS situation room? Was there furniture in there Trump doesn’t want stained?

Anyway, if you’re on Bluesky and you like it like we do, our suggestion is to act like the plastic that comes on a couch and just block that weird dick. If this is how he’s spending his time, then he’s already lost. Y’all have a blessed day. Except for Jiggly Dudebreasts (JD) Vance. He can eat shit. More: The Hill

Note two: Let’s check in with ol’ Elon Leon and see how he’s doing and oh shit. We’re not doctors, but we seriously recommend that NOBODY let this man put a chip in their brains.

Note three: We know that looks bad, but surely we can take some comfort in the knowledge that the freak with all the space contracts has been posting pictures of drug tests he allegedly passed. Don’t you feel better? More: The Independent

Note four: Huffington Post is reporting that Democrats aren't sure what to say about Iran. Our suggestion? NO NEW FUCKING WARS!!! More: HuffPost

Note five: Flavor Flav gets it. Wish this dude was our president.

Note six: The Albany Times Union has more guts than the NYT apparently. They’re straight up telling their readers not to vote for Cuomo. Nice to see a newspaper that isn’t Fox News in print. More: Times Union

Note seven: We’ve been impressed with Mamdani’s campaign, but he messed up big time. Sometimes you need to just say you fucked up and you’re sorry. More: Jewish Telegraphic Agency

Note eight: We’ve already said enough about the stupid flagpole shit, but we did want to share this story about scumbag asking the workers if they were undocumented. No, bro, you’re thinking of Trump properties. More: HuffPost

Note nine: We know a lot of people are hating, but we’ve actually really enjoyed these NBA finals. Y’all think OKC will close it out tonight?

Note 10: And while we’re talking sports, the other day we said we were excited to see Shohei Ohtani pitch for the Dodgers. And that was true. But we also should have taken that moment to talk about how disappointed we’ve been that a team with such a massive Hispanic fanbase has been quiet on what ICE is doing in L.A. Other than Kike Hernandez speaking up, the team has been shamefully silent. A new report this morning said the team is going to announce a plan to help the immigrants being hurt by ICE. This is a welcome and long overdue step. More: FOX LA, KTLA

Note 11: We’re dying to know how this dumb motherfucker thinks the Declaration of Independence relates to the Civil War.

Note 12: We’ve been bummed about Senate Democrats voting for that crypto bullshit, so it was really nice to see them giving Hegseth hell yesterday. We especially enjoyed watching Elissa Slotkin tell Hegseth that he didn’t have the “guts and balls” of his predecessor. More of this, please. More: The Hill

Note 13: Tim Kaine says he regrets his vote for Kristi Noem and that she’s disappointed him. We like Kaine but come on, bro. Did he think the puppy-kiling was just a quirk? More: NBC News

Note 14: We’ve had so much bad and scary news about the FDA and the war on good drugs, but here’s a REALLY encouraging story. A twice-a-year shot that almost totally prevents HIV has been approved by regulators. We’re shocked and relieved the brainworm butthead didn’t fuck this up, and we’d bet he still will. More: Associated Press

Note 15: The Republican talking point on going to war with Iran is that Trump should be able to do whatever he wants and we should just trust him. It makes sense. After all, when has he ever been wrong about… oh right.

Note 16: President Obama warned this week that we’re damn close to an autocracy. We can debate whether we are already there or not, but we can’t debate how sick the burn was about his inauguration crowd being bigger. More: The Hill

Note 17: We hate Tucker Carlson so much and we really hate him for making us laugh so hard as Ted Cruz keeps saying “you called me a sleazy feline.” These two deserve each other. More: The Independent

Note 18: Trump took down Hillary Clinton’s portrait to put up a fugly meme of himself. Remember when the White House wasn’t a tacky shithole? More: Raw Story

Note 19: Today’s Happy Ending is an easy one — it’s been 19 years since Taylor Swift debuted. We love you Tay Tay! And thanks for always backing democracy and decent people!

Note 20: And on that melodic note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are hanging in there this week. At least you didn’t have to join a social media network where everyone hates you just to feel something. Love y’all!

We love you
The cruelty of the Trump administration really knows no bounds. While the broken and corrupt Supreme Court was hurting trans kids, the Trump administration was making clear they don’t care if those kids live or die. How else would you explain Trump ordering the national suicide hotline to stop referring LGBTQIA+ kids to the Trevor Project’s hotline? According to HuffPo, the hotline has received 1.3 million calls since being established in 2022. We’re so fucking glad those 1.3 million souls had a place to turn to in their hour of crisis. And we’re so fucking mad some bigoted assholes want to take that away. Our understanding is the hotline will still be live, but you won’t be able to reach it through 988. We’re still trying to figure out what alternatives are available but we saw a post this morning that said Canada has added a toll-free number (1-877-330-6366) for Americans who need help. We haven’t called it, so we really hope it’s not a prank. And thank you to governors like JB Pritzker and Josh Shapiro who made clear their states will continue to love and support their kids. More: NBC News, Axios

Tell ‘em, Jerome
Trump is BIG MAD at the Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell. Yesterday Powell announced that the Fed is leaving interest rates unchanged because Trump’s stupid tariffs are fucking up the economy. Powell said the board is expecting to rise and growth to slow to 1.4 percent because of Trump’s policies. And Trump is throwing a massive tantrum. It’s worth remembering that the Fed bailed out Trump during his first term, and now he expects them to do it again. Maybe he should just stop doing dumb shit. More: The Guardian

A tough one to celebrate
Today is a federal holiday, and we should all be celebrating the emancipation of American slaves and the day that the news finally reached slaves in Galveston, Texas. Alas, this year’s Juneteenth comes while white supremacists run our government, attacking and firing Black leaders while working overtime to honor confederate traitor scum. So let’s use today as a reminder of why we’re fighting these fuckers — because they want to take us back to the horrors of yesteryear and we’re not having it. Happy Juneteenth, everybody! Fuck racist assholes! Oh and a giant FUCK YOU to every company who isn’t celebrating because they’re afraid of Trump. More: USA Today, MSNBC

Today’s clips
Hundreds of people, some clutching candles or carrying flowers to lay in front of a memorial, gathered outside Minnesota’s Capitol on Wednesday evening for a vigil to remember a prominent state lawmaker and her husband who were gunned down at their home. More: Politico

U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s new vaccine advisers meet next week, but their agenda suggests they’ll skip some expected topics — including a vote on Covid shots — while taking up a longtime target of anti-vaccine groups. More: NBC News

President Donald Trump on Wednesday once again ripped a reporter to their face, this time after they dared to bring into question the idea that his supporters are completely and utterly behind every move he makes. More: HuffPost

President Donald Trump lashed out at Rupert Murdoch’s conservative media empire in a Thursday morning Truth Social tirade that saw him declare that “MAGA HATES FoxNews.” More: Mediaite

The latest from Adam