Happy F**king Fourth

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Sexy Patriots! We didn’t want you suffering alone today, so we thought we’d drop a note to wish you a Happy Fucking Fourth of July. Read that as literally as you want to.

We know today is full of mixed emotions. We should be celebrating our nation’s continued progress toward greatness through 250 years of slow, stupid, beautiful and often painful growth. But no. Instead, we’re faced with a bloated orange reminder that America is still capable of its worst and new humiliations we hadn’t even considered were possible. And we can sure understand why you’d have trouble celebrating that or even this country right now.

But respectfully, fuck that shit.

This is our country too. We have so much to celebrate. We are capable of so much, and there have been many, many times when we lived up to our lofty ideals and sometimes bullshit rhetoric. Those times are worth cheering. And so are you.

For 10 years now, you’ve lived under the dark and scary clouds of star-spangled fascism. As we speak, we are at war in the Middle East and the president of the United States is flying around on a $400 million bribe from Qatar while pocketing $2 billion and asking the rest of us to sacrifice for tariffs and war. Half of the White House is covered in tacky gold and the other half is in ruins. People who smeared their shit on the walls of the United States Capitol are lecturing the rest of us about patriotism.

And it gets worse.

The United States military patrols the streets of our nation’s capital at a wannabe dictator’s command. We’ve seen our fellow citizens murdered, tear-gassed and beaten in the streets by masked thugs just for peacefully protesting. We’ve seen innocent people abducted by government agents in broad daylight. You’ve survived a mismanaged pandemic and the rise of cruel, powerful and insanely rich idiots and monsters.

And through all of that you have fought. You’ve beat them back. You’ve won. You’ve lost. You’ve resisted. You’ve persisted. You’re still here.

You should see what you look like from our vantage point. We started our fucked up cussing newsletter seven years ago for just a few of us. It was something to make us laugh and help us cope when we wanted to cry and throw things. And then you found us. And we found you. And we grew. We found comfort, camaraderie and strength in numbers.

We see your pain and your anger in your emails and comments. We hurt with you. But we also see your laughter. And your determination. And your good old-fashioned American grit.

It’s so remarkable to look at all of you and know that we’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder with so many badass Sexy Patriots. There’s nobody we’d rather be in this fight with than y’all.

So this Fourth of July, we are ignoring the dumb sonofabitch who just keeps royally fucking everything up. Instead, we want to thank and celebrate you for inspiring us, motivating us and keeping us relatively sane.

If you’ve been with us for a while, you know we are very fond of Marvin Gaye’s rendition of the National Anthem at the 1983 NBA All-Star game in Los Angeles. We thought we’d share it with you today to say thank you and to remind you that we can make this country what we want it to be just like Marvin made this song what he wanted to be.

Hang in there, Sexy Patriots. And if you’re looking for the hero who’s going to save this country, just look in the mirror. Thank you for everything you do, and thank you for being with us. Happy Fourth of July.

Love y’all!