Happy Effing New Year!

Today’s Big Stuff. January 1, 2025.

It’s Wednesday. There are 671 days until the midterm elections. It’s 2025, and things are getting ready to suck.

Be advised: This New Year’s greeting uses profanity. It can’t always be cussing about just the news.

Note: Sexiest of Patriots! Happy New Year! How the hell are ya? Well you smell fantastic, and we’re gonna need it because this is probably gonna be a shit year. Hey, it’s not every New Year’s Day that you can wonder with good reason whether this is the year the world ends. There are a lot of dumb and powerful fuckheads running amok these days, and who knows just how stupid things can get?

And that’s why we wanted to send a note to you today — to tell you that there’s nobody we’d rather go through this goddamn nightmare with than your hot ass. In a few weeks, the United States will undergo The Shittening, where a convicted felon, rapist and traitor will put his hand on the Bible and become president again. And when he does, the world is going to get dark and ugly and really fuck…