Going Streaking

It’s Monday. There are eight days until Election Day. Trump opens up the floodgates of racism, Obama comes out swinging and the right cries over Brazil.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. So it can tell the Cheesecake Factory to fuck off.

Note: Ya know, Sexy Patriots, if there’s one thing we love it’s a good streak. Now we know you’ve got your minds in the gutter and you’re picturing this newsletter throwing off its trenchcoat and running naked through a Trump rally. And while that is a recurring nightmare of ours, that’s not exactly what we mean here. No, we mean a winning streak. And that’s what the world is on when it comes to beating back fascist fuckheads…

These videos make Trump and Elon poop the pants that they share. And they should be scared. Pants-pooping scared. Because the world is sick of their shit. Anti-fascist forces have now won in Hungary, Serbia this weekend and Brazil yesterday. Everywhere we look, brave people are rising up and defeating the assholes. Hell, someone even burned down Hitler’s mountain [ski retreat](https://apnews.com/article/germany-hitler-eagles-nest-berchtesgaden-alps-fire-338ec9bbec52ecf52d1c127546d01eed). Now it’s on us to keep this streak going.

We know you’re worried about Trump cheating. We know you’re worried about his rich friends cheating. We are too. But if there’s one thing these other countries have demonstrated, it’s that you can still beat a fascist at the ballot box. And that’s exactly what we intend to do. So let’s leave it all out on the field and keep this streak going. Then we’re going streaking for real. Y’all have a blessed day. More: AP

Note two: Speaking of Trump cheating, we put together a column yesterday recapping Todd Blanche’s bullshit. You can check it out here…

Note three: The AP is declaring what we already knew — “Trump failed to stop inflation.” But hey, at least we’re getting a new ballroom. More: AP

Note four: We’re sending love to Mary Peltola and her family after they were involved in a car accident. We’re sure Trump will have something shitty to say about this. More: AP

Note five: Here’s the president of the United States declaring Norway a “shit house” that “sucks.” Sorry, Norway. We fucking hate him too.

Note six: Right now in Michigan, voters are voting and Democrats are railing for Abdul El-Sayed. But not Haley Stevens. No, she went on CNN to be so shitty to him that Mike Rogers is using her words on his social media accounts. We don’t know why Haley is trying to help a Republican win a U.S. Senate seat so he can rubber-stamp the Trump agenda but we sure as shit won’t forget it. More: Yahoo News

Note seven: Trump spent his weekend talking about Nicki Minaj’s ass and Bill Maher being a suck-ass. Makes sense — all three of them are full of shit. More: Yahoo News, Deadline

Note eight: We do want to offer a special FUCK YOU to Maher for being Trump’s little bitch. Dude even had Karoline Leavitt on his show to kiss her ass. Trump is never right about anything, but he’s right about Maher being a loser. More: Variety

Note nine: Just a reminder that Vivek is still out there being a total piece of shit. He even went on Fox this morning to try and stop the bleeding. But it seems like he might have crossed a line for Ohioans. Let’s hope this was too far and decency starts to make a comeback. More: Yahoo News

Note 10: While we’re nervous about a lot of states, we are feeling pretty good about Georgia. But only because the Republican admits he’s getting his ass whooped…

Note 11: Trump’s DOJ had a rough weekend with its efforts to cheat in California. Trump lost in court 64 times after he lost the 2020 election. How many times do we think he’ll lose this time? More: Democracy Docket

Note 12: There’s a report that Hegseth thinks he can avoid impeachment by taking Marsha Blackburn’s Senate seat. To be fair, this is more thought and planning than he gave the Iran War. More: HuffPost

Note 13: This is a candidate in Kansas refusing to throw trans people under the bus. This is how easy it is to stand up for everyone.

Note 14: We don’t usually give Saturday Night Live credit for their politics stuff since they let Trump host, but man they really nailed us here.

Note 15: A bunch of priests want you to know they are very sorry that they allowed themselves to be photographed praying over Trump. They claim they were duped. We don’t believe anyone is actually that dumb. This is really the worst thing Catholic priests have ever done. Oh wait. More: HuffPost

Note 16: The right had a tan suit freakout this weekend. They’re upset because Obama said Trump has the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a Cheesecake Factory. They’re still fine with Trump being best friends with Epstein though. More: HuffPost

Note 17: This was actually our favorite Obama bit from this weekend… More: Threads

Note 18: We have really come to love Abul El-Sayed. We especially love the way he called out Bret Baier’s bitch ass this weekend. More: HuffPost

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re going to Reacher. Ok not really, but we saw this social media interaction with Alan Ritchson, the actor who plays Reacher, and it made our day. Try to ignore the fact that Sam was in stalker mode and was one of the first four likes.

Note 20: And on that righteous note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all had a great weekend. We know the cause of freedom sure did. Wanna go streaking with us? Love y’all!

The Least Racist Person You’ve Ever Met

Remember when Trump used to say that? Well he’s not saying it now because he’s too busy calling Abdul El-Sayed a “jihadist” and calling Somalia a “shit house.” He said both of these things repeatedly this weekend, and it’s being treated as totally normal by the mainstream media. But it’s not normal. It’s really racist and really fucked up. We wish white political reporters were as outraged and disgusted by it as we are. Just look at this despicable shit…

Go O!

President Obama hit the campaign trail hard this weekend, joining El-Sayed and Benson in Michigan. He also hit Trump hard. Really hard. The 44th president had crowds rolling laughing as he relentlessly mocked and ridiculed Trump to the point that Trump fired off a pathetic limp-dick social media post in response. Obama also went to Ohio, where he called out Vivek’s gross pro-pedo ad. President Obama remains a top-tier super popular politician, and we’re damn happy to have him out there fighting for our candidates and making fun of Trump.

More: NBC News

Cry More!

While we’re all celebrating Lula’s surprising victory over Bolsonaro Jr., the right is having an epic meltdown. They’re all convinced the election is rigged, and they want Trump to send in the military to fix it. This seems to be how they respond to all news they don’t like. Frankly, we dare them to try some shit. Then they can join Bolsonaro Sr. in a jail cell. Congrats to Lula and the people of Brazil and the rain forests.

Today’s clips

NEW YORK (AP) — Democrats and outside watchdogs are planning a massive presence at the polls on Election Day driven by concerns that President Donald Trump will further leverage the vast resources of the federal government to interfere with a midterm that could hobble his final two years in office. More: AP

SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) — Senate Majority Leader John Thune says he wouldn’t be offended if some Republicans didn’t want to campaign with him. He knows that he’s taken intense criticism from the party’s base — and from President Donald Trump — for his chamber’s inability to pass voter legislation this year. More: AP

TEL AVIV — After three years of navigating war, crisis and global outcry, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is facing one of the most significant electoral tests of his decades-long political career. More: NBC News

A rain-soaked swath of the Southwest U.S. endured additional flooding as crews in New Mexico scoured evacuated neighborhoods Sunday for dead animals, downed power lines and other hazards left behind by receding floodwaters and at least one tornado. More: NBC News

WASHINGTON – A former beauty pageant contestant who has said she rebuffed a sexual advance from President Donald Trump in 1993 now says Trump raped her during the encounter, according to a report from the House Democrats who will take the lead on any potential impeachment of Trump next year. More: HuffPost

BERLIN, Oct 26 (Reuters) - Audi chief Gernot Doeller drew heavy criticism on Monday for appearing alongside US President Donald Trump at a campaign rally in the battleground state of Georgia, with the head of Germany’s top union saying it violated the automaker’s company guidelines. More: HuffPost

Reversing its ban on up-ballot political endorsements because it could not “remain silent,” Ohio’s biggest newspaper endorsed Democrat Amy Acton over Republican Vivek Ramaswamy in the state’s race for governor on Sunday. More: HuffPost