Ghislaine’s good friend👫

It’s Tuesday. There are 392 days until the midterm elections. Don’t fly out of Burbank, a country singer sees the light and Trump might pardon his child-trafficking friend.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But at least it’s not friends with Ghislaine Maxwell.

Note: We don’t know about you, Sexy Patriots, but Stephen Miller really creeps us the fuck out. The rage and hate just ooze out of that freak like an evil stanky sweat to the point you can almost smell him through the screen. And he’s contagious. Because we hate that sick little motherfucker right back. And that’s why today’s opening note is an appreciation of AOC who made fun of the evil little weirdo and clearly rattled his cage (which he almost definitely sleeps in)...

LOLOLOL!!! Good comeback, bro. It’s almost as good as George Constanza’s “jerk store.” And AOC wasn’t done. She followed up by posting that clip and tweeting, “I cannot believe they aired this and made him listen to it live 😂 I am crying.” So are we, AOC. So are we. Because that is fucking hilarious. We’re keeping this an AOC appreciation post, but shoutout to suck ass Laura Ingraham for humiliating the living shit out of the rat-eater. He’s like a walking micropenis in the shape of a swastika. A very tiny, misshapen and malfunctioning swastika ween with arms and legs.

So thank you, AOC, for reminding us all that we’re being led by psycho loser assheads who think girls are smelly because girls won’t talk to them. But mostly thank you for laughing at these fucking freaks and reminding us to do the same. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Senate Republicans have sent Susan Collins to lie to us about finding a deal on healthcare. All we have to do first is give up all our leverage. Fuck that and fuck her. Hold the line. More: WGME

Note three: How “war-ravaged” is Portland? Well, the state Republican Party has had to lie and put up pictures of South America to make it seem like the city was in trouble. We’re sure they’re telling the truth about all the other shit though. More: The Guardian

Note four: Speaking of lying pigs, it turns out Border Patrol and the White House straight up lied about opening fire on a woman they said rammed their cars. It’s like the whole fucking federal government is now a corrupt cop. Maybe the beltway media should take note. More: Chicago Sun-Times

Note five: Thank you to every Chicago business who has refused to serve ICE or let them use the bathroom. As far as we’re concerned, they can use the heartless puppy-killer as a toilet.

Note six: We are winning the shutdown. How do we know? Marjorie Taylor Greene broke and joined us. More: NBC News

Note seven: We fucked up yesterday and told y’all that Trump spoke at the Naval Academy this weekend. It was actually at Naval Air Station Norfolk in Virginia. Thank you to those who pointed it out except for the man with serious anger issues who writes on occasion to tell us “influencers” how dumb we are. He seems really cool.

Note eight: Pam Bondi is testifying in front of the Senate this morning. It’s as infuriating as you’d expect. Mostly because she sucks. But also because Dick Durbin is just not up for this. DUDE, YOUR CITY IS UNDER ATTACK! FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!!! More: NBC News

Note nine: Chuck Grassley and Senate Republicans are trying to make a big deal out of the revelation that Jack Smith investigated some of them. You know why? Because they were a part of a coup attempt against the United States of America. More: HuffPost

Note 10: Shit is going great at the Washington Post…

Note 11: Here’s some good news after a scary event. Authorities say that so far there is no evidence of arson in the fire at a South Carolina judge’s home. We were pretty worried about this after Trump officials publicly attacked the judge. More: Associated Press

Note 12: Hard to believe it has been two years since the terror attacks of Oct. 7. This war needs to end. More: NBC News

Note 13: Just a reminder that we have some really big elections coming up in New Jersey, Virginia, Pennsylvania and California. Let’s run the table.

Note 14: Also, Bolts Mag has a great breakdown on the other elections happening this November. There are few publications doing election previews better than Bolts. More: Bolts Mag

Note 15: Oh dear. What’s going on here? What is Mike Little Johnson hiding?

Note 16: We can’t stop laughing at how angry these fucking losers are over Bad Bunny playing the Super Bowl. It’s like they’re Drake fans, which makes sense since they try to strike that A-Minor chord too. More: Mediaite

Note 17: Thank you to every young person out there who greeted Trump on TikTok by asking where the Epstein files are. More: The Daily Beast

Note 18: The new ploy from Republicans is to threaten to refuse to pay furloughed workers back pay after the shutdown ends. We’re grateful to them for reminding America that they don’t give a shit about working people. More: Mediaite

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we take you to Texas, where Republican Rep. Wesley Hunt has joined the Republican U.S. Senate primary. Why is that a Happy Ending? Because the GOP is furious about it and we love to watch these assholes bash each other. James Talarico will be a nice alternative after the dust settles. More: NBC News

Note 20: And on that electoral note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a good week so far and that AOC hasn’t roasted you to hell and back. Love y’all!

Note 21: That Happy Ending was pretty trash, so here’s Fleetwood Mac doing Silver Springs live… More: YouTube

Learning to love LAX
So you won’t believe this, but Trump officials even managed to fuck up a government shutdown. Ok so you will believe it. The air traffic control tower at Burbank-Hollywood airport went hours without any air traffic controllers. Sounds pretty fucking scary, right? Especially when you consider that Sean Duffy sucked at keeping planes in the air even when the government was open. Gov. Gavin Newsom was quick to remind Americans that the delays and work stoppages are a direct result of Trump’s shutdown. But don’t worry. Duffy was on Fox and Friends this morning warning about the dangers of marijuana. We wish we were kidding. More: ABC7

Welcome
To us, country music ain’t been country music for a long time. We like Johnny Cash, Willie, Waylon and Merle. So we’re not usually too keen on this new pop shit that they call country unless it was Beyonce’s country album. We say all this to let you know that we don’t know shit about Zach Bryan, but we are ready to welcome him to the resistance. Why? Well he wrote a song about the evils of ICE and now MAGA is coming for him big time. Bryan has been pictured with Trump in the past. We’re just so fucking glad that everyone is starting to see ICE’s abuses. And the “the fading of the red, white and blue.” More: HuffPost

WHAT?!
We have to give some credit to CNN’s Kaitlan Collins. Yesterday in the Oval Office, Collins pressed Trump on whether he will pardon convicted child rapist and trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell now that the Supreme Court has refused to consider her case. And Trump said he will look into it. We’re not kidding. Collins even reminded him that she is a child sex trafficker and he still said he would look into it. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF OBAMA OR BIDEN NO YOU CAN’T BECAUSE THEY WOULDN’T DO SHIT LIKE THIS!!! Even Laura Loomer’s looney ass is warning Trump against this. But regardless of whether he pardons Maxwell, the scandal is that he’s considering it as part of a cover-up. More: The Hill

Today’s clips
The Supreme Court on Tuesday considers a free speech challenge to a Colorado law that bans conversion therapy aimed at young people questioning their sexual orientations or gender identities in a case likely to have national implications. More: NBC News

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney will meet with President Donald Trump in the Oval Office on Tuesday at a time when one of the world’s most durable and amicable alliances has been fractured by Trump’s trade war and annexation threats. More: Associated Press

U.S. President Donald Trump, “is giving instructions to shoot and kill people,” Modie said about recent U.S. military strikes targeting suspected drug vessels in the Caribbean as it bulks up its military presence in the region. “What could we do? We’re just a little dot.” More: Associated Press

Jimmy Kimmel trolled President Donald Trump after a new YouGov poll found the late-night host more popular than the sitting president – and he wasted no time twisting the knife. More: Mediaite

Read some Sexy Testimonials from some Sexy Patriots

“Today, I upgraded my subscription from free to monthly. You didn’t pull any punches about what is happening & how we need our approach to fighting it all. I’m 67, on a fixed income, and have health issues, but I believe every last word of your post! Please keep this approach front & center! And thank you!” -Elizabeth Scott

“I love the cussin’. Fuck Trump” -Alastair McLean

“I like the way you give the news with a sharp, but accurate accounting. I don’t have the time to sit and read everybody’s takes on the news, and I am tired of watching MSNBC other than Rachel Maddow who is back 5 days a week for an hour. That I can suffer through. Thanks.’‘ -William (Bill) McGuire

“Robert Hubbell referenced this article in his newsletter and I was strengthened in my resolve with your words. I need as much strength as I can get, at the ripe old age of 75, to keep my eyes on the demise and not feel hopeless.” -Ava Hoover