F**king with Fauci

It’s Wednesday. There are 97 days until the midterm elections. The war we won keeps on going, Facebook goes full fascist and Republicans attack a good man.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. And it sure understands why Rand Paul’s neighbor did what he did.

Note: Sexy Patriots! This week has sure been a helluva month. But at least it’s… oh shit it’s only Wednesday. If you’re like us, you’ve noticed an uptick in the infighting as we get closer to the most important Election Day since the last one. People are really on edge and understandably so. Well, we’ve called out the infighting enough lately, so today we just want to tell you how much we love you.

These last 10 years have been a relentless goddamn nightmare. You are living through unprecedented times as an American. And it sucks. It sucks hairy hog butt. But we are so fucking grateful to have found this community to help us get through it. Y’all are the fucking balls, man. We have faith and hope because we have your sexy asses on our side. And there’s no one we would rather go into this battle with than you. We know it hasn’t been easy, but we are so damn proud of y’all for staying in this fight.

Now we’re about to blow our goddamn stacks after watching Randy Paul have Fauci’s attorney thrown out of a Senate hearing, so we better get to the cussing. But before we do, we just want to say thank you for everything you’re doing to beat these fucking assholes. You are the best of this fucked up country. Y’all have a blessed day. And here’s a video of what it looks like when we write the newsletter…

Note two: If that sweet opening note wasn’t enough to soothe your mental health, check out yesterday’s Therapy Session. It was a good one!

Note three: CNN has Trump’s approval rating at 34 percent. Ouch. More: CNN

Note four: Trump is going to make prescription drugs more expensive for seniors on Medicare. It’s like he’s doing everything he can to lose the midterms. We appreciate the assist. More: Wall Street Journal

Note five: Trump mostly slept through Lindsey Graham’s funeral yesterday. When he was awake, he didn’t do Christian shit. Because he’s the goddamn devil. The good news is Lindsey is still dead.

Note six: July is coming to an end, which means we’ve got a whole new month of elections. And thanks to the good folks at Bolts Mag, there’s a handy guide to what’s going down. More: Bolts Mag

Note seven: Damnit. RIP to Glen Hansard. That man had a beautiful voice, and we’re sorry to see this. More: NBC News, YouTube

Note eight: We have a new Director of National Intelligence who has no background in intelligence. But he is an election denier, so that’s fun. More: NBC News

Note nine: LOLOL!!! Ross Douthat is going to 60 Minutes. We are very excited for people to see the little weirdo who talks about masculinity. Some folks have a face for print. More: The Guardian

Note 10: We talked about this in therapy yesterday, but Jack Reacher is coming back this month and we fucking love the dude who plays him. He is on a tear right now…

Note 11: Mike DeWine sucks. But even he knows it is cruel and wrong to fuck with the poor Haitians in Ohio. More: The Hill

Note 12: Can someone explain to us why Rep. Max Miller has been getting a pass from the mainstream media? Is it because he’s not a Democrat? More: MS Now

Note 13: Even UFC fighters are sick of Trump’s bullshit. And this dude gets hit in the head for a living!

Note 15: The World Cup might be over, but Trump is still trying to fuck it up. More: AP

Note 16: John Mellencamp might have dropped the Cougar, but he’s still got claws. Git their asses, John! More: HuffPost

Note 17: If you need another reason to hate data centers — and you don’t — just remember that Willie Nelson hates them too. And Willie is an angel on earth.

Note 18: We know everything sucks right now, but Rick Moranis is coming back and that is something to celebrate. More: People

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we’re taking you to Iowa. This ad President Obama cut for Josh Turek is the most fun we’ve had watching an ad this year. We especially love the part where 44 says he knows “something about winning Iowa.” Go Josh!

Note 20: And on that awesome note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are having a great week. We also hope you’re hanging in there, keeping your head up and doing everything you can to fuck up some fascists (at the polls). But we know you are. That’s what makes you so sexy. Love y’all!

Deja Vu All Over Again

Remember that MOU and the ceasefire? Yeah, we don’t either. According to Fox News this morning, Trump is back to threatening to blow the “fucking shit” out of Iran. At this point, Fox is the only one left who believes this shit. Trump has no idea what he’s doing or what he wants to do, and Iran is getting stronger by the day. This is a truly idiotic quagmire, and we have no idea how dumbshit is gonna get out of it.

More: The Hill

Delete Facebook

So we don’t actually have a link for this story because the only one we can find belongs to Newsmax. And they are garbage, which is why it’s news that Meta has entered into a content-sharing agreement with the right-wing fake news channel. Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg isn’t content to fuck up your children. He also wants to finish off American democracy and reality itself. If you still have Facebook, now is probably a good time to get rid of it.

NO LINK

We Stand With Fauci

Well this morning has been fucking appalling. Rand Paul, who is obviously jealous of Fauci as a doctor, has been attacking the good doctor at a Senate hearing all morning. Dr. Fauci had to plead the Fifth, and Rand even threw his lawyer out of the room. Republicans screamed and yelled and talked about how great livestock medicine is and Democrats… well, we’re not sure what they did. Thank goodness that President Biden pardoned this good man before these goons could get a hold of him. And just as a reminder — Trump spent those early covid days playing golf, lying about it and bragging about his television ratings.

More: NBC News

Today’s clips

CAIRO (AP) — Iran launched a barrage of missiles at American forces in the Middle East early Wednesday as the U.S. partnered with Saudi Arabia to strike Tehran-backed militias in neighboring Iraq, killing at least 20 fighters. More: AP

KYIV, Ukraine (AP) — Ukrainian forces hit two of Russia’s biggest oil refineries overnight in its latest long-range strikes, officials said Wednesday, as Kyiv deepened its economic, military and diplomatic pressure on Moscow. More: AP

WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal officials involved in the prosecution of James Comeymisled judges, submitted false statements and withheld key facts during the course of the investigation, according to new defense filings that seek the dismissal of a case charging the former FBI director with threatening President Donald Trump on social media. More: AP

**Nolan Wells**’ mother, **Christine Wells-Wonsley**, is making moves in court to get her hands on her late son’s social media accounts, TMZ has learned. More: TMZ

Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear (D) addressed Sen. Mitch McConnell’s lengthy absence on Tuesday amid rampant speculation on the condition of his health.

CNN’s Kaitlan Collins asked Beshear if he believes the photos released by McConnell’s office were an “accurate portrayal” of the senator’s condition. Beshear said he did not know. More: HuffPost

If you saw Donald Trump appearing to fall asleep during Lindsey Graham’s funeral on Tuesday, the White House has a special message for you: You’re a “depraved moron.” More: HuffPost