Felon

Happy Friday. There are 662 days until the midterm elections. The planet is burning, Senate Democrats go wobbly and whiny Trump is sentenced.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. But it at least its hot ass was never convicted on 34 felony counts.

Note: Hey there, Sexy Patriots! And welcome to a very special TBS. We know things have been dark and negative lately, and we’re all looking for hope and encouragement wherever we can find it. Well here at TBS we just want to remind you of one very important fact to always keep in your cap for when you need it — every miserable asshole will eventually die…

Welp. Bye. And thank you for the reminder that even the most repugnant pig-fucking bigot will eventually kick the can and end up covered in dirt. Or as we call it — the Kissinger Principle. Now we are not violent people, and we are in no way suggesting that anyone should hasten this process for the world’s assholes. But we can take comfort in knowing their day will come just as it comes for the rest of us. And for some people, we can hope that day involves a slow trip through a woodchipper while being diarrhea shat on by la…