Empire State shakedown
Happy Friday, Sexy Valentines. There are 627 days until the midterm elections. The Pizzagate Pentagon, the anti-jobs president and some Empire State outrage.
Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It’s our version of Cupid’s arrow or some shit.
Note: Happy Valentine’s Day, Sexy Patriots! Hopefully you know by now how much we love you, but if not, please know that we are so fucking grateful to be in this fight with you. It’s the next best thing to not living in a sucky era and watching your country turn into a backwards shithole. If things have to suck ass, we’re glad we’re with y’all when they do. Romantic, right? Well while we’re in such a sweet and loving mood we’d like to take this opportunity to NOT welcome Mitch McConnell to the resistance…
So? Way too fucking little. Way too fucking late. So he’s voting against RFK Jr and Tulsi? So what? As far as we’re concerned Mitch can still eat shit, fuck all the way off and then go straight to hell. He ain’t getting the Liz Cheney pass. We’re supposed to believe that this is the real McConnell and not the guy who made Trump II possible by chickening out after Jan. 6 or the sonofabitch who blockaded the whole back end of the Obama presidency or the twisted motherfucker who has devoted his life to keeping people poor and sick? Naw. We’re not that gullible. Not anymore anyways.
So Happy Valentine’s to y’all and a giant Fuck You to Mitch McConnell. Sure it’s gross to watch Trump attack him and question whether he had polio. But Mitch was the king of gross shit for a long damn time, and we ain’t forgetting. Y’all have a blessed day. More: AP News, NBC
Note two: Hey just a quick and semi-serious note and then we’ll get back to the horrifying news and cussing. We know this shit is really goddamn stressful and scary and nonstop. Please please please make sure you are taking breaks from the news and doing whatever you can to protect your mental health. Staring at stupid is like staring at an eclipse and we know that’s Trump’s thing. Y’all are the fucking best. Thanks for reminding us that we’re not alone and we haven’t (totally) lost our minds.
Note three: The Trump administration is removing all references to trans people and that includes at the Stonewall Inn memorial. This is particularly cruel and fucked up because trans people were on the frontlines of the Stonewall riots fighting for their rights to exist. Trump can’t erase people. They’re real, they’re Americans and they deserve our support. More: The Guardian
Note four: Thanks to everyone who tried to get that Gulf of Assholica stuff changed back at Google. Unfortunately, tech giants are total chickenshits and Google just turned off the comments and erased the reviews. Cowards!!! More: BBC
Note five: We’re gonna talk about this in the news section, but how egregiously fucked up do you have to be to get a woman to want to quit her job while she’s in the middle of giving birth?!
Note six: We’re just gonna tell y’all right now that it would be a big damn mistake for the brain worm dipshit to come for our lexapro. More: Cosmopolitan
Note seven: The New York Jets are done with Aaron Rogers. How the fuck are the Jets smarter than American voters?! More: ESPN
Note eight: Sen. Roger Wicker said drunken jackass SecDef Hegseth made a “rookie mistake” by saying lots and lots of dumb shit about Russian and Ukraine. Wicker is right. Makes you wonder what kind of stupid sonofabitch would vote for that rookie. More: The Hill
Note nine: We’re gonna talk more about her in a minute, but good for Kathy Hochul for following the law and refusing an extradition request from Louisiana for a New York doctor who prescribed abortion pills. Blue state guvs are really gonna have to step up. More: NBC
Note 10: If this was a clip of Justfucking Disastrous (JD) Vance actually having sex with a couch, it would be less embarrassing than the actual video…
Note 11: Thank you to the amazing Issa Rae for canceling her show at the Kennedy Center. We are so goddamn grateful to the people who are taking a stand when so many are getting on their knees. More: CBS
Note 12: Trump is going to the Daytona 500 this weekend. So yeah he is totally checked out and just wants to be America’s Queen while Elon Leon serves as Prime Minister. We wish our Queen was less fugly. More: AP News
Note 13: We’re just gonna point out that Gov. Kathy Hochul’s number is 518-474-8390.
Note 14: It’s pretty fucking wild that Trump and his team are now admitting that prices are going to go up and it’s not being treated as the biggest goddamn campaign lie of all time. More: The Guardian
Note 15: Again, we will talk about this in the news section but this is fucking insane. Here’s Tom Homan treating NYC Mayor Eric Adams like a pet and making clear that if Adams doesn’t do the Trump administration’s bidding then Adams will again be facing charges. What a massive scandal!
Note 16: AOC understands the assignment. Can she maybe teach the rest of the party? More: HuffPost
Note 17: According to Adam Carlson, Elon Leon’s average favorability rating is underwater at 43 percent to 50 percent. That DOGE bullshit is at 44-48. This is a liability for Trump, and we need to be hitting this shit with everything we’ve got.
Note 18: Thank you to Sen. Chris Murphy for using the appropriate amount of cussing to discuss the White House continuing to punish the Associated Press. More: HuffPost
Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we are saying goodbye to Sen. Tina Smith, who announced she won’t run again. No, that’s not the happy part because we sure as shit don’t need another seat to defend. But we were so happy to see that our old buddy Tim Walz is thinking about running. And even if he doesn’t, Minnesota Democrats have a great bench. More: AP News
Note 20: And on that interesting note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all have a lovely Valentine’s Day. Unless you’re Mitch McConell. Then we hope Cupid takes a shit on your front stoop. Love y’all!
Note 21: Also, here’s the Peanuts singing Fleetwood Mac. Happy V-day, SPs!
Pizzagate Pentagon
Disaster of a human and Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s tenure is off to a pretty embarrassing start. Aircraft carriers and military planes are crashing and Hegseth’s trip to Munich has been even worse. But it’s absolutely fucking humiliating for this country that Hegseth invited Jack Posobiec, a Pizzagate dipshit who routinely pushes Russian propaganda, along for the ride. The freaks are in charge now, y’all. And it’s as embarrassing as it is terrifying.
More: RawStory
The anti-jobs president
Usually president try to get jobs for Americans, but Trump is going another way. Yesterday was a bloodbath in the federal government as an estimated 200,000 probationary hires were fired. That includes fire fighters, it includes the people who maintain and protect our nuclear arsenal and it includes about 1,000 people at the VA who help our vets. The only good news is this should make it easy to tell if next month’s jobs report is complete bullshit. Because this many unemployed people at once is definitely bad for the economy.
More: NBC
Empire State shakedown
So the shit really hit the fan yesterday. Even though Trump’s DOJ moved to dismiss charges against NYC Mayor Eric Adams days ago, nobody actually ever did it. And yesterday we found out why. U.S. Attorney and Trump pick Danielle Sassoon resigned yesterday instead of dismissing the charges. In her resignation letter, she made clear that DOJ had offered Adams a quid pro quo in exchange for dropping the charges. That’s why she refused to go along with it. Then the rest of her team resigned too. And so did people at DOJ’s Public Integrity Office. All told, six people resigned, which is more than the number that resigned during Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre. As you saw from that Fox clip, Adams now belongs to the Trump administration. That’s why Kathy Hochul has to follow the lead of her Lt. Gov. and of AOC and remove Adams from office. This is a major fucked up scandal, and we’re gonna need our party to treat it that way.
Trump Golf Track
Today’s clips
The Trump administration must temporarily allow the disbursement of foreign aid, a judge ruled Thursday, dealing the latest blow to the administration's sweeping efforts to halt international aid. More: NBC
Linda McMahon, President Donald Trump’s pick to lead the Department of Education, refused to answer on Thursday during a Senate confirmation hearing if public schools would be in violation of an executive order and be at risk of losing their federal funding if they host groups or clubs based on a race or ethnicity. More: HuffPost
American shoppers pulled back on their spending last month for the first time since August as stubborn inflation continued to bite and harsh weather curbed economic activity. More: CNN
Moscow-Eichmann Mitch McConnell is a traitor!
May he soon enjoy a short retirement and all of his payola be returned for building his monument with the inscription, "Here lies a greedy, racist, duplicitous hypocrite who had the chance to make things better and didn't."
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