Day Off Edition

Happy Friday. There are 522 days until the midterm elections.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Even on its personal time.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! Since we’re taking today off, we thought this was a great chance to say thank you. Living in a country run by the dumbest, cruelest shitheads in the universe can be pretty goddamn demoralizing. The only thing that could make it worse is if we were going through it alone. That’s why we’re so grateful to your hot asses.

Together, we have and will do big things. We have raised money, mobilized for candidates and won some pretty important elections. But just as important as all of that is the fact that we have been there to remind each other that none of us are alone in these scary, awful times. Want to cry over what Elon Leon has done to kids in Africa? Us too. Want to throw your television through the goddamn wall after watching Trump attack Zelensky? Us too. Want to keep Justfuckeda Dudescouch (JD) Vance away from your furniture? Us too.

There is both strength and comfort in numbers, and that’s why we wanted to say thank you today. It would have been really easy for all of us to say fuck it and give up after last November. Instead there are more of you joining us than we ever could have imagined. Subscribers to this cussing newsletter have more than doubled since January. It’s hard to describe just how reaffirming that is. You are the reason we have hope. You are the reason we’ll never quit fighting. And you are the reason we’re gonna take this country back and make it something that doesn’t suck ass. And if we’ve learned nothing from Star Wars (other than Luke and Leia definitely should not have kissed), it’s that rebellions are built on hope.

Note two: And because we don’t want to be totally useless today, here’s a good primer on the elections we need to win.

So thank you, Sexy Patriots. Thank you for your sexiness and your patriotism, and thank you for keeping us going. We’re really fucking grateful. Love y’all!