Arresting the Wrong Don

Happy Friday. There are 277 days until the midterm elections. A $10 billion heist, Trump smears a murder victim and goodbye to the First Amendment.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. It will stop when America gets less shithole-ish.

Note: Well, Sexy Patriots, it’s been a hard week at the end of a shitty month at the start of a fucked up year. But we’re still standing. Hell, we’re even resisting. We are a full-on guerilla movement of sexy badasses, and we’re done putting up with all this fascist bullshit. In LA, we’re vandalizing those grotesque Melania signs. And in Wyoming, we’re making fugly members of Congress tuck tail and run away. Yes, Wyoming…

We know what you’re thinking, but no that’s not Ursula the Sea Witch from the Little Mermaid. Even though we would boo the hell out of her too. No, that’s Harriet Hageman. She’s the trash who replaced Liz Cheney. She also might still be running from her own voters as we speak, leaving a trail of urine in the fresh snow as she goes. Because none of these motherfuckers are safe from our mockery and anger. Not even in Wyoming.

The shitty thing about winning is that Trump knows he’s losing. And he’s becoming crazier and more dangerous as we put more points on the board. But make no mistake — we are winning. The resistance is rising. Donald Trump fucked with the wrong people. Y’all hear those brave Americans booing and yelling “chickenshit?” Yeah, Trump had no idea how sexy our patriots could be. Y’all have a blessed day.

Note two: Remember earlier this week when the press told us Trump was leaving Minneapolis and had a new tone? Well those were both lies. Shocking, right? More: The Hill

Note three: This isn’t the newsiest thing, but Trump is about to cuck one of his cabinet members. It’s really gross and kinda hilarious. Sorry about the wife, Doug! More: HuffPost

Note four: We appreciate the New York Times reporter who asked Trump about the really obvious bribe that Amazon paid him in the form of “Melania.” More: Mediaite

Note five: We weren’t kidding about those billboards in L.A. Looking good, Los Angeles!

Note six: Trump is nominating a new Fed chair today. Of course we already have a Fed chair, so this is stupid. More: CNBC

Note seven: So yesterday Senate Dems agreed to pass five of the six spending bills and pass a CR for the DHS bill for two weeks. We don’t love this move because we think it’s important to strike while the iron is hot. But that’s not what has us steamed. Lindsey Graham blocked the deal because he wants to be able to sue the government for millions of dollars over his coup attempt bullshit. Try to imagine the coverage if a Democrat did this. More: HuffPost

Note eight: It really is fucking crazy to us that our people are making deals with Trump like this. Maybe they’ll get tougher after Trump murders more Americans. More: NBC News

Note nine: We will support any Democratic 2028 nominee who tells David Axelrod’s wimp ass to go eat shit. We don’t need this kind of cowardice right now. More: Mediaite

Note 10: It ain’t just the Harriets of the world feeling the heat. This was at a Tom Suozzi townhall. Tom as one of seven House Democrats to vote to fund DHS last week. Oops.

Note 11: “Doctor” Oz thought he could try some of this Minneapolis bullshit in California. So he went to LA and smeared some Armenians. He wasn’t planning on Gavin Newsom fighting back. More: Associated Press

Note 12: This winter weather is no joke. Y’all be safe out there. Even you, Florida. More: NBC News

Note 13: We don’t believe for one second that this sonofabitch can identify a giraffe.

Note 14: Thank you to Lady Gaga for speaking out about the scumbags at ICE. Thank god we’re not stuck with just Kid Rock. More: The Pink News

Note 15: Trump’s latest attack on Canada is his stupidest yet. And man that’s really saying something. More: HuffPost

Note 16: U.S. companies have announced 52,000 layoffs this week. But don’t worry because we’re getting a fucking ballroom. More: FT.com

Note 17: Thank you to the Minnesota Timberwolves for getting in the game. But if KAT was still there, we’d be seeing some real activism.

Note 18: As grossed out as we are about Melania, we are damn excited to watch it crash and burn. After all, she is the least liked First Lady in American history. LOL. More: MEAWW

Note 19: For today’s Happy Ending, we want to caution you that this video contains the n-word. But we thought y’all would want to see what happened when ICE fucked around in Compton.

Note 20: And on that hilarious and satisfying note, let’s go do some news! We sure hope y’all are able to catch your breath this weekend. Unless you’re Harriet Hageman. We hope she spends the weekend fucking off and eating shit. Love y’all!

Stop! Thief!
Donald Trump is really trying to steal every last goddamn penny we have. Not only is that piece of shit grifting every chance he gets and stuffing his pockets with dirty crypto money, but he’s also suing the government for billions of dollars. His most recent heist is to sue the IRS for $10 billion over his tax returns being leaked during his first term. Yeah, that seems like a $10 billion offense. This comes on top of his lawsuit against DOJ. In both cases, he has cult members in charge — Bondi and Bessent — who will probably help him put our money in his pockets. Shit like this makes us wish his supporters weren’t blind and stupid. More: CNN

Get his name out of your mouth
Trump was up all night posting on Truth Social again, and this time he decided to smear the late Alex Pretti as an “agitator” or even an “insurrectionist.” The rage you’re feeling right now is appropriate. We fucking dare this asshole to double down on smearing an American his thugs murdered. Pew has his approval rating at 37 percent, and we think it can still get lower. Alex Pretti is an American hero and fuck anyone who says otherwise. More: The Hill

Fuck the First
Trump and Bondi are now arresting Black journalists for the crime of committing journalism. Bondi said on twitter that she directed the FBI to arrest former CNN anchor Don Lemon and Minneapolis independent reporter Georgia Fort for covering a protest at a church where the pastor is also an ICE fuckhead. The right, who didn’t care when Trump goons were shooting pastors in the face with pepper balls, immediately called for blood. But no judge would sign off on arrest warrants. And MS Now is reporting this morning that career DOJ prosecutors refused to touch this case. So yeah, Pam is going to lose in court again, but not before she sends a chilling message to the media. We stand with Don and Georgia. We hope their chickenshit colleagues in the beltway find the courage to do the same. More: NBC News

Today’s clips
Federal prosecutors can’t seek the death penalty against Luigi Mangione in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, a judge ruled Friday, foiling the Trump administration’s bid to see him executed for what it called a “premeditated, cold-blooded assassination that shocked America.” More: Associated Press

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem on Thursday defended her response to the killing of Alex Pretti by federal immigration agents over the weekend, claiming that the Trump administration was “using the best information we had at the time,” while conceding that “we can always do better.” More: HuffPost

Lindsey Vonn crashed in her final downhill race before the Winter Olympics on Friday and was airlifted from the course for medical checks, a troubling turn for the 41-year-old U.S. ski star just a week before the Milan Cortina Games. More: HuffPost

Convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell claimed in court documents that 25 unnamed associates of Jeffrey Epstein made “secret settlements” tied to sex abuse allegations so they could avoid prosecution. More: Mediaite

In a major shift to the world order since President Donald Trump took office again, America’s closest partners are exploring opportunities with China following clashes with Trump over tariffs and his demands to take over Greenland from NATO ally Denmark. Despite the risk of irking Trump, they are resetting relations with a country long seen as a top adversary to many Western allies and the top economic rival to the U.S. More: Associated Press