100-Grand Bribe

It’s Monday. There are 693 days until the midterm elections. Trump bribed the brain worm guy, he wants to end birthright citizenship and a dictator falls.

Be advised: This newsletter uses profanity. Because you’d never catch us telling Trump to fudge off to heck.

Note: Howdy, Sexy Patriots! It’s so great to see you! We sure hope you had a restful weekend that didn’t involve watching a certain assheaded lunatic on Meet the Press. So why don’t we start this week with a twisted message of hope. This is a story about a Florida sheriff’s department that was making its own crack in order to bust people with crack. Yes, really.

So how is that crazy shit a message of hope? Because it’s a good reminder that America has always been a totally fucked up — if often lovable — freak show. We know right now a lot of folks are wondering if anything matters at all anymore and we’re here to tell you it does. We haven’t lost everything just because we’ve lost our goddamn minds. We’ve always been crazy! We’ve always done dumb shit! We’ve always been fucked up! We’re a country where cops make their own crack!

Now, are things about to get even more fucked up? …